Things you don't miss about an Ex

[Wheelycote]

Recently become single and have been bereft. I read something on another thread and it reminded me of a behaviour ex had. Sulking.
It's strange how, things like that become the norm.

The rose tinted glasses are starting to fall. It won't happen overnight, we were together for 8 years.

Pls share something about an ex, that you don't miss.

Finding a text on exes phone from his mate. His mate asked ex whether he had "smashed her back doors in yet?". Ex responded with "No. Gutted."

Am just at the tickling one. That's hideous Alfred. Glad you can relax a bit now.

Tbh xh wasn't horrible at all and had many good points. However, I don't miss -
Driving aggressively and shouting at other drivers. Deal breaker for me now.
Making every invitation a battle. Never wanted to go but regarded me going as betrayal. If I'd managed to negotiate us both going to something he would be ill on the day, but magically better if I stayed behind. Or he'd just refuse to leave the hotel. If he absolutely couldn't avoid going he would be horrible to everyone and insist on leaving early.

My only relationship tip is to integrate someone into your social life early. If he doesn't fit, dump him.

Smoking,Spitting,Swearing,Casual racism
,Always talking down to me, my friends and family hating him, borrowing money and having an extra kid basically but with no manners!

His foul 'smoothie' concoctions he'd make every morning; everything but the kitchen sink, God they were disgusting

He kept badgering me to wear pastels even though they didn't suit me (now his wife wears a lot of pastels)

The way women came in two flavours: his mother and 'slags'

His insistence that he was a working-class hero despite being MiddleClass McMiddleFace

His insistence that he was a working-class hero despite being MiddleClass McMiddleFace

OMG yy to this ^

I know a few others have said "his mother", but I'm backing that one up, she was a total psycho.

• Him telling me that I couldn't tell people what my job was when I worked in a call centre because that job "wasn't good enough" to be revealed to his friends and colleagues.

• Him repeatedly telling me I wasn't intelligent enough to get a degree and do any better than work in a call centre. Bit of a catch 22 situation there.

• Absolute refusal to do anything around the house. He wanted me to be a housewife, so I was for a while, then he criticised me for being a housewife and said I should get a job, then he bitched about the cleaning not getting done enough. Well, which one is it fucknut?

He has a masters, lives with his parents and works for an MP and is a local councillor (and earns about £10k above the average wage for the area) but has a massive chip on his shoulder about being poor and working class...

His parents worked in IT for a bank and live in a fancy part of the LA FFS...

The lying,
The cheating
the fact that he treated me like complete crap & I totally allowed it.
It's only since I've been in a grown up functional relationship that I realised just how unhealthy my past one was.

Political rants
Constantly critical
Short temper
Alcohol abuse
Munting on about his ex

The dread in my heart deep down that I didn't love him one bit but it had all gone too far.
So much happier with my DH.

His breathing, didn't do anything really bad with it..... Just the fact that he did!!

See

Breathing was the main thing about my XH...

Breathing and showering... the fact that he did them...

Cathartic...

1. Blowing his nose like a footballer into the kitchen sink/toilet
2. Trying to clean off dried on snot from sink/toilet
3. Blowing his nose like a footballer in public
4. His earstud he never cleaned with a huge ball of just dead skin cells and grease behind it so big he could not pull it back through the hole when he finally decided to clean it
5. Him eating garlic every single day and stinking of it (love garlic and never notice it on others, but it seemed to react badly with him)
6. Not having to listen to him droning on in lecture mode 'I like educating other people'
7. His mother
8. His sister
9. One of his uncles

10. His ex crim, unsavoury mates some of who wet their beds still/had diarrhoea after a night out. Thankfully never in our home bu he told me all about it when they did that in hotel rooms 11. Him eating the same thing, every.single.day 12. Him only taking a week of holiday the whole year, and then I would do all the packing for all of us and he would only ever pay for us to have one meal out the whole holiday (as he ate the same tinned food everyday so didn't need a break from the cooking like I did) 13. Him controlling our savings, any nights out he had were from there (we had money), mine came out of what was left out of the house keeping, could not even afford new clothes for myself. 14. Him being an armchair psychologist. 15. His 'empathy fatigue' as he called it when he refused to comfort me when I was upset. Apparently his ex gf had kept trying to top herself and he just could not continue to offer emotional support after this. He was with her when he was 23 ish she was 16. I was with him from when he was 33...10 years and the poor love had never got over the trauma . Poor girl. I can guess why she was suicidal. 16. His misogynistic beliefs. 17. His racism 18. His belief that you only needed one multifuel stove in the house to heat it through out (with no back boiler) 19. His belief that having children was 'not hard work'. Having looked after our toddler single handedly for about two hours. 20. Him never ever helping with the housework. 21. Him never ever doing a jot of DIY and at the same time refusing to get someone in to pay for it done (we could afford it) 22. His total lack of appreciation of what I had put into being a mother and housewife. 23. Him asking for me to thank him for going to work to earn the money. (Family business...) 24. Him never taking short breaks of a day or two off to spend time with myself and the children 25. Him never wanting to be spontaneous. Just the same routine, every.single.day 26. His mardy face and personality like a permanent grey rainy day 27. Him kissing me with a dew drop on the end of his nose (excuse me while I vom) 28.His expectation that I should have sex with him because I was his wife 29. I think I've run out of steam...I may be back to post more.

He was a real catch.

Jesus, how could I have forgotten the smoothies 🤢🤢🤢

Oh and I forget the fact he used to come up to me regardless of which mundane, grinding task I was knee deep in and brandish his erect penis is my face, going " come on admit it, you want this up you right now, getting a good bashing. You'd wake up in the night gagging for it but realise it was too late"

Yes, I did use the word "bashing"

What I always wished when he did it, was that I had a rusty bread knife to hand........

"Realise it was too late if you left me"

Reader, I left him

Don't miss:

Him calling me names including 'goofy'
Him laughing at me because I was lonely
Him making me out to be clingy because I thought he should want to see me more than once a week
Him ignoring 99% of my phone calls and texts
Him cheating on me
Him sexting other women
Him leaving on my own to have an abortion
Him giving me an STD and tearing me
Him having sex with me while I was asleep and waking up to him on top of me

Right keeper he was. Stayed with that arsewipe for three miserable years. And was manipulated into thinking I was the out of order one!

Happily married with kids now.

Him going to the pub on his way home from 4 weeks working away.

Never eating what I cooked, but not telling me he didn't want it until it was made. He brought home Chinese or chips or pizza but never asked if i wanted any.

Always sabotaging any diet I said I was going on.

Never being in the bed when I was.

His drinking.

Him leaving the house within 20 minutes of his family arriving for a visit.

Spending the equivalent of a week's shopping on one meal. Buying vast quantities of food for his family to eat when they arrived late afternoon each Christmas Day, which they never ate and we ended up having to chuck most of it out.

In fact, I don't miss anything about him.

30. Him thinking he was good looking. He wasn't. Dumbo had nothing on his ears. And the size of his nose...the length of his face, the supercilious expression.
31. Him thinking he had a amusing but sensible personality 32 Him thinking he was gods gift to women 33 His belief he was extremely intelligent. And would 'never marry a woman more intelligent' than himself. I pointed out he was being rude, eventually. He did then finally get that he was being rude.
32. His constant assessment of women, he used to find larger ladies hilarious, particularly if his mates slept with a bigger lady.
33. Him writing his autobiography.
34. Him being constantly being sarcastic about his family, he utterly despised them
35. Him working with his family everyday, despising them and telling me about them when he got home. Yes they were hideous but his attitude was awful. I used to tell him to find another job and we would manage. No doing, he liked the money and 'importance' of being a self made business man (actually...his dad built up the business, not him).
36. His constant crude comments about sex, his mates having sex, and what he had seen them do.
37. I think I'm finished just about...

never cooked a single meal in 10 years. was a senior manager but apparently cooking was 'outside his skill set'.

also, he would kneel as if accepting a knighthood to put his socks on.

oh, and jollity. like men at a golf club jollity. calling each other 'squire' etc. pricks.

The complete and utter waste of skin and breath that he was.

His assumption that the I'd put up with his crap and never leave. Hahahahaha that really worked out for him!!

I'll just give you one:
The pubic hairs liberally sprinkled around the place when he used to wander around keg-less scratching his balls in the morning.

wait he also had a fake cheese allergy. not ice cream or milk or owt - just cheese because apparently it once gave him a slight headache.

wouldn't eat any vegetables except peas.

mineofuselessinformation...

Oh and the constant 'grand plans' that never came to anything because he never did anything about them...

Being an MP, being a journalist, being a taxi driver.... always involved him looking things up for months, borrowing money then spending it on other crap...