Christian wife leaving my husband

[WonderRose]

I'm a Christian woman about to leave my husband and I was looking for some advice on how to carry the guilt. We have 2 children together and have been together 3 years. He's not a very nice man. I was speaking people before but I can't remember their usernames so can't get in touch with them

What was in the previous thread that offended people?

"I' was told not to re hash the old thread so I won't be talking any more about it. Apparently it offended at lot of people" which is it then? . Think I'm out.

You talk about guilt. Its difficult to get over but everyday when you wake up or look at your children think of the lessons in life you are learning and in turn teaching them. When you are older/more experienced you will be better equipped to deal with it. That old saying does ring true. If you have not lost faith then know this, no god would or should want you or anyone to feel this way .

I'd find yourself a church with a sympathetic vicar.

Divorce is not a sin these days unless you're in a fundamentalist branch.

They didn't believe me and thought I was a troll. Which btw I only jusy learned the meaning of today when I got called one

What's the guilt for?

I'm going to assume you are genuine and hurting.

I'm a Christian and I separated from my DH almost a year ago. As said up thread - he broke our marriage vows. He trampled all over me emotionally and tried to manipulate me from the minute I asked him to leave. He has spread lies and shared some very private details with people at church - and largely this backfired, as people understood suddenly why I was not getting back together with him.
We don't have children together - since you do, you need a solicitor urgently, same as if you had no faith. You need strong wise counsel from within your church community and if they won't do that, you need a new church. Wishing you all the best OP - God created marriage to bless and fulfil not to enslave you.

Hi all,

This poster's IP was flagged as a PBP.
We have spoken with her and she has reassured us for now that she is not and will post within the guidelines.

We can never be 100% sure but we are giving the benefit of the doubt for now.

Watching for mnhq clarification.

What Eliza said - see a solicitor, get your ducks in a row. Secure your bank cards, passports, children's documents. Make copies of everything. Bank accounts, wages.

If people at your church are calling you a liar, and you're a believer, join a new church. You'll need the support.

Do you know where to go? Do you rent or own?

I thought you said you were not a practising Christian yourself.

No I said I was overly religious like my parents. I still believe in God.

Well, posting from a purely practical viewpoint I would say that distance brings clarity. You know that the way he is treating you isn't normal. You only need to look at threads on MN to see that the way he is treating you isn't normal. But sometimes if you're that close to an establishment it can be hard to see things the way they really are.

But in deciding you want to leave you've taken the first step towards making a better life for you and your children. I would suggest that you step away from the church you're in for now, not least because it seems abundantly clear that you won't get the level of support you require from them. You can still hold on to your faith without needing to find a church for now, but that may come in time. But the less you have to do with the view that you are in the wrong, the more you will find the strength to be able to do what is right for you.

I'm just going ask them to delete this thread. There's no point in talking anymore as everyone's just made up their mind that I'm a liar because of some people who can't imagine the life i lead. I came here for help and for all the people who posted helpful and nice comments on my first thread i thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

What are you guilty about?!
Genuine question.

Love thy neighbour as thyself = you can only truly love your neighbour or your enemy or anybody else if you love yourself, warts and all.
And getting away from a nasty man is the ultimate in self-preservation.

You are doing yourself and your DCs as massive service to get away from a relationship that makes you unhappy - I don't know your backstory.
Whether you are a committed or just a vague Christian or any other religion or an atheist does not change that.

If you are looking for specific religious advice, there is a Religion and Philosophy board.

Don't go, Wonder.

If people who aren't prepared to give this thread a chance to help you, perhaps they could step back for a while?

Your main priority is your children. You shouldn't feel guilty to put them first, and to have to break up with your husband. You did make a vow, but if you were honest at the time, and you did try, there's not much else you can do.

The most uptight people are the ones who don't know what they are talking about, or who refuse themselves the chance for better things.
You can believe in God but take the commands written by men with a pinch of salt. Some things get lost in translation.
As long as you are true to yourself, and to your children. We are only human, you didn't kill or hurt anyone. You are giving your children the chance of a home (or 2 homes) without conflict and tension.
good luck

I agree with the other poster that recommended finding a church with a nice vicar you can talk to. From what I remember of your previous thread, your own church wasn't very supportive but I'm sure others will be.

I felt really sad when I saw your post was pulled OP!

Are you still going through with Tuesday?

Hey wonderrose, don't have them delete the thread. I come from a very religious community too and went through domestic violence. It was part of my religion to be a submissive wife as well. I didnt read your first thread.

What's important now is not to throw the baby out with the bath water. You still have faith in God, so do I and I think it would be very unsettling for you to change your whole lifestyle and beliefs right now.

However like a pp said, it's your husband who broke his vows. I just don't believe that God wants us to be oppressed and abuse is oppression. Also in my situation it was affecting my children and I was worried one of us would end up dead. God does not want us to suffer like this. He is the Most Merciful and Most Kind.

Don't be too hard on yourself and try to find someone you can talk to in real life as well.

A lot of people just won't understand the religious side of things, but I do and so have some pp. your head must feel wrecked right now

Whatever is going on - you need someone impartial to just listen - the Samaritans might be a good starting point - they listen without judgement..