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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH went out after pregnancy scan and isn't home

336 replies

AWOLDh · 13/09/2017 21:07

I'm trying to keep this vague in case someone recognises me but hopefully it will still make sense.

I had my first pregnancy scan today for our second DC.
We have a DD together , it took a long time to conceive DD and we had a couple of failed ivf attempts before we eventually had her.

So I always wanted 2 DCs, DH wanted 1. However after having DD he decided that he wanted to try for another. But I think in part he said yes because I wanted 2.
I fell pregnant on our first attempt and we were both a bit shocked at first as we were expecting it too take longer and the gap between the DCs is closer than expected. But once it sank in I was over the moon and DH said he was too.

So to today, we are at my first scan and the scan showed twins. Both of us were shocked and DH asked her to check again which she did and assured us it is twins.

So We left the room and DH said actually he had to go out and think and he needed space. He said that this wasn't part of the plan and he had to think. I said oh ok and didn't really question it.
He has been gone for hours, he has missed dinner and DDs bedtime.
I text him to ask when he is coming home but he hasn't replied.

I am zigzaging between being worried about him and being angry with him. I'm not sure if I should call him or if that will make it worse because he wanted space. But I'm also worried and annoyed and I want to hear from him.

OP posts:
Gorgosparta · 14/09/2017 07:03

Hope he is back and suitably ashamed of himself, at the very least

Abetes · 14/09/2017 07:03

Congratulations. I hope that your husband is home safely now.

RubyGoat · 14/09/2017 07:04

Hope you're ok.

TanginaBarrons · 14/09/2017 07:04

Oh, and I had lots of bleeding at the beginning and never once did he express anything other than concern for me and my happiness, even though I am sure deep down he wished it had been an early mc. He is now beginning to talk excitedly about names etc (7 months in) , so if your dh can redeem himself it may come right.

Waspyhell · 14/09/2017 07:06

Congratulations to you OP.

I'm hoping he's back and willing to talk having got his head together!

splatattack · 14/09/2017 07:10

Twins!! Amazing and exciting so congratulations...Flowers

Wanderlust1984 · 14/09/2017 07:10

What a selfish nob. He'll never be able to change the fact that this was his initial reaction. Hope he's back and shovelling soon!

Callmejudith · 14/09/2017 07:12

What a cock. Is he back?

Somersetlady · 14/09/2017 07:14

I hope he is home and you have got to talk over this momentous, wonderful but shocking news together.

I also hope your DH is ok especially as it seems out of character for him to go awol.

MollyHuaCha · 14/09/2017 07:14

Morning OP, is he home yet?

Chimchar · 14/09/2017 07:16

Congratulations on your two babies!
I really hope your dh comes home very soon. Sad

minniebear · 14/09/2017 07:25

Thinking of you

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 14/09/2017 07:26

Congratulations! Hope he's back home now

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 14/09/2017 07:30

Congratulations OP, I hope he's back and apologising for making you worry

GlitteryFluff · 14/09/2017 07:37

Hope he's home now Flowers

CoconutLush · 14/09/2017 07:41

What a selfish twat your dh is.

Please don't let this out a downer on your pregnancy Flowers

NewDaddie · 14/09/2017 07:50

Congratulations! Twins! Do you realise that you've just done a Beyoncé!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Hope you managed to have a good sleep and feel a bit better. BrewCake

BigApples · 14/09/2017 07:51

Is he back?

BitOutOfPractice · 14/09/2017 07:55

I hope he's back and you got some sleep op

Threehoursfromhome · 14/09/2017 07:56

I'm not sure a Single Ladies reference is exactly what the OP needs right now, NewDaddie Hmm

Finola1step · 14/09/2017 07:57

Hope you've managed to get some sleep. Congratulations Flowers

imjessie · 14/09/2017 08:01

I went to sleep thinking about you and I've woken up thinking if he is back and you are ok . I'm sure I'm not the only one. I hope he gives his head a wobble and apologies to you . The last thing you need is stress !!

sweatylemon · 14/09/2017 08:06

Hope he is back this morning

Gazelda · 14/09/2017 08:08

When he turns up, I'd be giving him hell about his selfish behaviour and how worried he'd left me for hours. It's just not good enough to leave a pregnant wife and young baby without even a 'im safe and will be back later' text. He's behaved like an idiot with no thought for anyone but himself.

And then I'd say that you'll draw a line under it. Let's talk about it quietly tonight, you realise what a huge shock this is and how it will mean a larger shift in the family than you'd anticipated. Give him a kiss and tell him to have a good day at work.

Unless this is typical behaviour, I'd give him a chance to apologise and realise how stupid his reaction has been. But Now's the time to deal with it and loom forward as a family.

NewDaddie · 14/09/2017 08:10

Maybe it's not in the best taste @Threehoursfromhome but I don't think the coward deserves any more attention.

Hope OP sees the funny side not the twatty side. I think she's doing an amazing job and should be celebrating her joyful news.

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