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Original poster

The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

999 replies

ConorMcGregorsChin · 13/09/2017 18:27

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
RunsforCake14 · 16/09/2017 19:50

Hi all. I've been lurking here for a while. I met someone on Tinder a few months ago and it was going well. But now I'm beginning to feel like he just doesn't have the time for me.
My friends are recommending that I start looking at OLD again. But reading this thread I'm not sure I could face it....yet.

PhoenixMama the one you're chatting to at the wedding, he doesn't happen to be in Cambridge, does he?

Lovemusic33 · 16/09/2017 19:55

Yes, my new list of must asks:

Do you live in a real house?
Do you have a job?
Do you have your own car, not one that you borrow?
Have you been to prison?

Not forgetting the normal questions like 'are you married and cheating on your wife?' And 'are you really giving up smoking?'.

PurpleSweetPeas · 16/09/2017 19:57

Love do you actually ask those questions outright?

Lovemusic33 · 16/09/2017 19:59

No purple but I'm starting to think I should. I do ask people if they are married, even more so if they haven't got a clear profile photo of their face. When I'm chatting through what's app I try and dig a little bit. I asked Mr Ginger if he lived in a tent after he mentioned being effected by the wind.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 16/09/2017 20:06

Love those are totally reasonable questions!!

PurpleSweetPeas · 16/09/2017 21:24

I'm probably not forward enough at asking the important questions and try and get a feel through whatsapping instead

Queenofthedrivensnow · 16/09/2017 21:26

Mechanic pleading me to come out. Asked him to ring me so I can gauge if he's smashed. He hasn't yet....Grin

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 16/09/2017 21:27

Purple yet. Yet. You'll get forward enough in time... Confused

PurpleSweetPeas · 16/09/2017 21:30

Something to look forward to there Been!

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 16/09/2017 21:38

Purple It's like going to the gym and seeing your arms tone up and your bum lifting. Your dating muscle takes shape... I kid you not. My dating muscle is Olympic Gold Medal standard...

PhoenixMama · 16/09/2017 21:53

Runsforcake nope he's in Richmond. He's quite funny. We'll see. I've got free time next weekend so hopefully he won't ghost out like the others.

I love the list of questions. I think cuz I'm in London and I'm a snob there's more professionals. I did date a guy once in his mid-30's who lived with his mum (after his dad had died) We actually had a great time & she was away a lot so never a problem. Then after we split she gave him this incredible house!

RunsforCake14 · 16/09/2017 21:58

Thanks PhoenixMama. I hope it works out with him.

My man is at a wedding and is messaging me. But I swear I saw a POF message on his phone last week. And the way he's been acting recently has made me suspicious.

Good luck all. I'd like to say that OLD worked for me but at the moment I'm not sure.

PhoenixMama · 16/09/2017 23:15

Runs how long have you guys been together?

Original poster
ConorMcGregorsChin · 17/09/2017 08:16

Hi all!

Run why don't you just ask him outright if things have shifted his side? Did you both agree to complete exclusivity? God I am so done with working out people's shit...

So for the 2nd time this month I say I'm done with dating - since Mr NowtToLiveUpTo well, didn't live up to owt.
And so, I have acquired myself a very hot, very young Blush FWB. I'll call him Mr MMA. No more drama here thank you...

OP posts:
Annelind · 17/09/2017 08:17

Love I'm up for some dirty sex a date in a caravan! Grin I'm sticking with Mr 53 atm, it's easy, no game playing, we can sit watching crap TV in our joggers, then have sex for hours. If I become bored I'll move on. Haven't looked at sites for a while - profiles hidden. When/if I go back, I'll certainly look for a caravan dweller as a taster!

Original poster
ConorMcGregorsChin · 17/09/2017 08:29

I do a bloke on a boat as long as it was a pretty, tasteful houseboat and not just someone kipling in an old fishing boat.
Ditto caravan. Clean and tidy. No problem.
Anything minging, no ta!

OP posts:
ojojoj1 · 17/09/2017 08:32

Last night I started chatting to 2 guys that could be nice we'll see

Lovemusic33 · 17/09/2017 08:43

I have a new iron on POF, will call him Mr Mountain, so far he seems normal, I think he lives in a house, drives a car and isn't married.

Living in a caravan could be fun but during the winter it must be a bit chilly, during the summer it would be like being on holiday every day.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 17/09/2017 08:51

Been I am loving your dating muscle analogy! Share all your wisdom!

Think I'm not feeling it with the mechanic. Something's not adding up - fit body lovely guy tick - deeper intellectual connection either not there or not possible. He still has match and tinder but my god I'd be freaked if he took them down!

Think I will push for mr politician been on dragons den bloke he's got something anyway

RunsforCake14 · 17/09/2017 09:08

Phoenix ConnorMc I've been seeing him for 6 months. I asked him straight out if he was getting POF messages. He denied it and I can't see him on there. Might have been my mistake.

I'd ask him what's going on if I could actually see him. He's cancelled 2 dates this week because of work. Yesterday he was at the wedding all day and stayed overnight. He was messaging me constantly saying how bored he was, can't understand why anyone gets married, wished I was there.

I wasn't there because I wasn't invited. But he had said there was no point of me going as it was work friends and I'd be bored. It was a close friend of his so I'm sure if he really wanted me there he could've got me invited in the evening.
He's already messaging this morning to say his missed me not being there.
At the moment I feel like an afterthought when he's got nothing else to do.

Original poster
ConorMcGregorsChin · 17/09/2017 09:13

That's a tough one Run
Guy instinct is usually right. But if he cancels on you this week, just ask "What's wrong?"

OP posts:
Original poster
ConorMcGregorsChin · 17/09/2017 09:14

*Gut, not Guy...
Actually, Gut instinct / Guy instinct. Meh. Same thing Grin

OP posts:
RunsforCake14 · 17/09/2017 09:21

Thanks ConnorMc. He's giving very conflicting signals at the moment.
I'll see what this week brings. Dating doesn't seem to get any easier!

Annelind · 17/09/2017 10:00

Runs I'm with Connor here. Best to ask for clarification, and get a firm date or at least a strong indication of where you're at. No one one wants to feel like a back up, or boredom go to. Very bad for our self esteem.

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 17/09/2017 11:10

Mornin' all

Queen I had one like Mr Mechanic. Utterly beautiful, OK company but a master swordsman, I mean master Wink but he had no depth. No intellect. There's no way I could have enjoyed any word play or really witty banter with him. He just didn't make me laugh. My disappointment with his intellect (or lack thereof) ended up overshadowing everything else. In short I was bored unless we were shagging...