The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Hi all,
I've been following the thread for sometime and have enjoyed reading about your dates and irons !

I have a question that I was wondering if you could help me with.

I've been on line dating on and off for three years. I've been lucky to have had only positive experiences and have met some wonderful people, some of whom have become great friends. I've obviously not met anyone who ive wanted to pershue romanticially in the long term though.

My question is: I've recently been diagnosed with x 2 illnesses - should I tell people on line when I'm chatting ? (You Wouldn't know by looking at me but there's a chance in the future it may have a very big impact on me).

What would you do ?

should I tell people on line when I'm chatting ? Not online,not to potential irons but to those you date with a view to dates turn serious. Basically when enough trust is established.

rk I am happy to have MB on 2nd date (sometimes first but will try and wait until 2nd or 3rd), I think if I got to 5th date without I would go crazy. Surely by the 5th date you know if you find someone sexually attractive? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she just wants to be sure you are relationship material before doing the deed? For me I need to know early on if we are sexually compatable.

Trying not to over invest, trying so hard! But he just rung me whilst on his lunch break. It was a nice easy chat. And I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.

RK this is why I will put off DTD with him for as long as I can manage! Because I really like him and want to get to know him. I had a few blokes I've slept with on the second date and it ended very quickly after. I can't work out nor can I really be bothered if that's all they wanted (which they very obviously did!) or whether their view of me changed afterwards. Whatever it is I won't risk it with this one.

Meanwhile - no over investing, no over investing and repeat.....

See Love music, you just said there if you had to wait till date 5 , you would go crazy. Yet nobody here will attack you for that.

Whereas i got my head ripped off. It seems unfair.

Lovemusic please read rK24's 'ghosting' thread. Very disturbing.

Right, just read rk's thread. It seems to me that she was enjoying some of the attention but wasn't interested in taking things further, instead of telling you early on (which is what she should have done) she carried on letting you think things were good by agreeing to more dates, this could have been for several reasons, maybe she didn't know how to tell you (didn't want to upset you)? Or maybe she was just using you as she wanted company? What ever the reason it wasn't your fault. I have been ghoasted so many times but often after doing MB, it's a horrible feeling which is why I now try hard not to over invest, I kind of expect it to happen and never get my hopes up even after 5 dates. I was seeing Mr Surf for a while, we went on 5 or 6 dates, DTD several times and then he vanished. I now look at dating as a bit of fun with little hope of actually ending up in a relationship.

And I have learnt not to start any threads about ghoasting or dating (other than the dating thread) because MN is a cruel place, even more so if your a man. Ignore what people we're saying. You did nothing wrong.

Lovemusic thank you, that is really understanding.

Ineedtoeat well that was encourgaing to hear your OLD experience amidst all the possible pitfalls

Sorry to hear about your diagnoses. I guess this news will be at the forefront of your mind at the moment and you might think you need to tell everyone. I would say though that you need to protect yourself even more at the moment and if you tell people upfront you might leave yourself open to rejection (from the closed minded) which then might be a self-fulfilling prophecy if you're thinking "my medical issues are going to make me less loveable/attractive".

I say be who you are and focus on that. Once you establish a connection with someone you could mention it then. Good luck xx

Purple I've been repeatedly chanting "don't over invest" over and over in my head today too.

Meeting Mr Irish in a couple hours. I've managed to not get too psyched up as I know he has a crazy crazy day today. And he admitted last night that he was already nervous bless him. Fingers crossed!

Phoenix fingers crossed. Is this a first meet up? I'm loosing track today which has nothing to do with my chanting! Are you going for drinks or food?
Love an Irish accent. MrMusic has an equally lovely accent I have to say and isn't affecting me at all

Thanks What and Couch for your take on it and the advice.

I'm currently chatting to several guy's and while I've told them about one of the illnesses (the less scary one) I have kept quiet about the other one. It feels a little sneaky, part of me would just rather tell them and if they disappear, then I'd rather find out early on. However, I totally understand your opinions and will tread carefully.

RK. For what it's worth (and I've read your thread) I don't think you did anything wrong at all.

thank you ineed.

rK24 looks like your thread will fill up soon Don't create follow up one and voila peace and quiet

Purple This is a first date rescheduled from his cancelled Sat night drinks but potential for dinner. This is the first date in a while where I'm really not really sure if I fancy him physically, but really like his personality. Keep trying to tell myself it's just drinks with a friend & that's actually helping!

Well done Phoenix. I was exactly the same about MrMusic. Really wasn't sure I fancied him but a good personality. Well he's well and truly reeled me in with that alone! I'm realising that for me it's largely about personality. Have fun!

Arrrgggg. Last minute nerves!

Phoenix... Personality rules or over looks for me. Eee how exciting! Good luck... Don't overinvest... You are fabulous... LOO UPDATE MANDATORY.

Yes Phoenix Loo update is mandatory!

For the rest of us, while we twiddle our thumbs waiting for new irons etc.. What accent really turns you on? Top 3 please!

Just found this after returning to the dating game. Great set of rules. But not sure about the toilet update, whats the size of my stool got to do with dating (unless I have accidently wondered into a partial kink thread). Anyway I have line up a date a week tomorrow.

The Irish accent (any) does it for me everytime !!

Being from London I actually love any accent (Apart from a London one!).

My ex had a blend of Northern Irish mixed with Dutch and North Lincolnshire. It wasn't the most elegant or understandable.

Stop talking about the Irish accent! I'll go all of a flutter

Irish
Scottish
Welsh

Tinder question - how come the same faces are coming up multiple times even though I swiped left on them? When I was last on it around 5 months ago you'd get a face pop up twice then not see it again but these are coming around 6 or 7 times plus! It's really annoying...