The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Hi, RK Sorry you had hard time on your other thread.What Phoenix said,all those points are very valid.
I also have a question .Would you as a lady be prepared to travel to a different city for a first date? I am not in London,the city in question is about an hr drive and about same on the train too.
I'm not into long distance relationship anyway .Had a guy messaging me,lives in the other city .Both short term and longterm relationship wise ,travel is realistic but not desirable for me and Id like a man to come for a first date to my city . Just thinking maybe I should change my mundset re those things.Although it's never been issue before with others(happily travel to my city without suggesting I come there).

Is it free Phoenix ? He doesn't want to pay for a membership as money is tight and he could lose interest after a week .

Lovemusic don't think Eharmony is free

No it's not free. What about Match? (Not sure if that's free either sorry!) could he do a brutally honest tinder profile? Agree PoF wouldn't be great!

Actually love thinking about it - he could create a profile & see if he gets matches before he pays. You can see limited profile deets but no pics without paying. They also have free communication weekends & the price goes down if you register & don't sign up right away. I have a friend with Aspergers who struggled socially & he met a lovely girl in a similar situation by using eharmony. I know it's not exactly the same but I think as it's so in depth it can be good for people who struggle socially, have specific needs.

Thank you, will look at Matchs and eharmony, i worry about how vulnerable he is as he's mentally quite young and he is very trusting. It's a shame that everything seems to be about online dating these days, there doesn't seem to be many singles evenings or speed dating events anymore .

I'm still fairly new to OLD but was surprised last night when I received a message from a female.

She asked if I was eating from a group chat. I messaged back advising I wasn't and she said there was someone with a same/similar name.

She then went on to tell me about a guy she had met off the site who wanted her to go to a couples swapping party.

I asked how she saw my profile and messaged me and she said she initially saw men and women.

I am guessing he/she was trying to find out if I was up for a threesome. Just found it very odd. Has anyone else had this?

Love, why is a man with young children a no no for you dating wise? Say if the kids are aged under 8.

Hello, if could give me some advice please I'd really appreciate it.

My divorce is just about to come through and I think I want to try OLD.

I'm 46, have a 4 year old DS, have a decent job but work a lot of hours, I'm average to look at, I guess, but I just can't shake the feeling I shouldn't bother as I'm hardly a catch.

What sites do I start out with please? I'm not bothered if I have to pay but I draw the line paying for introductions, that's just nonsense.

start with POF

I checked out POF last night but didn't register.......it's kind of why I'm here asking for advice as it looks a bit mental.

I have recently started with POF and found the initial number of messages overwhelming.
A number of them could be disregarded straight away because they openly wanted a one night stand and that's not what I wanted.

eating I'm not on POF now,just cant bring myself to go back on it.But as I remember from previous experience ,you could filter on who can send you messages. For example only allow profile with picture on and only those that look for specific thing( from intent list). It could have changed recently though so not sure how but could try to filter those idiots.

Whats.l thanks I will have a look. I've been amazed at the men who have messaged saying they are in the area for one night, along with details of the hotel they are staying in. Always mid week.

I've always found POF to be heavy on the sleazy side.

I would never start with PoF. In fact I avoid it like the plague! I think Tinder is a decent place to start and just be honest about what you're looking for.

If you are serious about a relationship and don't mind paying I'd use eharmony but I caveat that with if your rural, it might be trickier.

POF has the most traffic so you are more likely to get messages and dates, you just need to ignore a lot of messages, there's a lot of sleaze on their but that's because it's free and so many people are using it.

I think it's funny how folk think Tinder is a hook up site. Nicest people I've met have been on there. All the weirdos and threesome wanters are on POF and Okcupid. With some exceptions.

Hi again!! I havent had time to catch up on the thread yet and i have work soon so just a quick question. ...the fella that disappeared off of bumble after i gave him a number. Hes bck again and we matched. Said that he dropped his phone down the loo and lost everything. Surely u wouldnt lose your account....so i asked if he gas insta so i can see if hes a real person he said that due to his job he cant have fb or insta because he works as a nutritionist for team GB amd there's been a few breaches. What do u guys think. What should i look out for if hes not real?

I did try and google him and one of his pics on bumble comes up in images from a POF link so perhaps hes on there too

See now I'm completely confused. I hated OKCupid, Tinder and Bumble. Currently on POF and finding it OK, apart from it not being easy to block someone or undo a match...

I'm now getting lots of messages on POF - but it took a few days. Mostly from fugley potatoes, but I just delete those.

Well, MrMusic is becoming ever more of a good thing! We met for coffee on the spur of the moment and spent 1.5 hrs talking. He's really grown on me these last few days and I woke up this morning thinking it would be nice to see each other. I didn't follow that up as we're seeing each other on Thursday and I didn't want to be too keen. But he suggested it and it was lovely.
Now I need to keep my cool and not get too over invested!!

Purple that sounds good and nicely balanced. How many dates has it been? Have you had dinner & dancing?

Mr Irish has continued to have me in hysterics the last few days. I love the fact that he really has no idea how dating works now, the banter is brilliant and he's quite thoughtful in his questions & answers. Problem is his photos all look slightly different. I've googled him & seen a work image (which looks different to the others still) but I think he's more likely to grow on me.

I think this might be the first date in a very long time I'm going into hopeful but not overly invested. (Thanks for all your tips!)

I know we'll have a good time because of the messaging, I'm looking forward to getting to know him (because I haven't done long phone calls this time!) and there's NO chance of dinner & dancing as I have to get back to the sitter. Fingers crossed!

Phoenix No dinner and dancing! I'm vowing not to for a little while. Savouring the lead up and not rushing in! Although I need to be careful as so easily could!