The Dating Thread Number 122: Colour By Numbers

[ConorMcGregorsChin]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

coich Be honest.
I think it's the only way. It may feel a bit like you are baring your soul. But honesty is the thing I most appreciate in OLD and on life in general. And therefore that's what I try to live by.
Good luck!

Jumped back into OLD last night and have had a few chats with vaguely interesting men. It turns out I no longer have any hang ups about messaging first and/or speaking to younger men. I am past the point of caring!

Just had a message from someone new, and you know when you look at a photo of someone and think, I don't know why, but you totally seem like a murderer to me? I wonder if he is a murderer, or just a normal man with terrible photos.

Can see lots of new names on this thread - hello all.

Ha ha Pringle I know what you mean by people that look like murderers, it's a bit like children, sometimes you can tell they are little shits by looking at their faces, I think men are the same. I tend to stay away from men that have 'that look' on their face.

Lovemusic33 I do sometimes wonder if they're actually lovely people. But I never message them back to find out. Women's intuition and all that...

How have you been? Is dating treating you kindly?

What a difference a few days make!

After a run of rubbish luck, met an actual real-life person in a bar (I know -weird right?), whilst visiting a family member at the weekend. After a false start involving me accidentally accusing him of being a terrorist, we ended up breaking into his neighbour's flat to dinner then dance all night. He then walked me home along the beach as the sun rose over the sea.

He is now frantically texting me all hours of the day and night about when we can next meet!
And I have another splendid iron who is hopefully taking me out very soon for actual dinner followed by dinner then dance...!

Ooo Ruby how bloody exciting!!! What a date!!! Real life dating... Seems a foreign concept??!! Fingers crossed xxx

I'm ok pringle meant to be having a 2nd date tomorrow but my cars in the garage so I don't think it will be happening. Plus iron hasn't messaged me at all today (same old story). Good to see you back.

Do you think it's possible to be invested but not overly invested?

Hello all and welcome back Pringle
Is it possible to be invested but not over invested?
My response to this is....
Is there a single person on this thread who doesn't want to be loved / find love ultimately? I doubt it. So investing in any way is largely inevitable. Although we possibly manage our expectations accordingly.

So I had a date with MrExercise today. If he stopped talking about himself for more than a minute I'd have been amazed! Oh dear god!
So, second date with MrMusic coming up. We've been messaging every day and he's rung a few times. He's very sweet and caring. He seems really interested. I'm still not sure but I catch myself thinking about him and smile when he sends a text.
I'm hoping that he comes out if himself a little but then I probably come across the same!

Oh dear Purple about Mr Exercise. Always reminds me of Shirley Valentine and 'my favourite season is Autumn when a guy talks about himself a lot. You could put it down to nerves I suppose...
Mr Music sounds better. Although I've lost count at the amount of men who initially made me smile at messages then sent dick pics. Fingers crossed though.

Conor these were not nerves! And he doesn't have a car as he travels everywhere on his bike - err, that's a no from me then!

I could be wrong but I really don't think MrMusic is a dick pic guy. I think he may comes across as a bit full on which will freak me out!

Hi Pringle welcome back. Ruby im envious, I think I'm too shy to meet someone that way, I think I may be a little introverted. Nice to see that he's interested....so many guys play it far too cool for my liking....Purple Sounds like you might be onto a winner with Mr.Music and yes nothing worse than when a man talks only about himself....could be a self confidence/esteem issue?

Spoke with Mr.American last night over the phone....he was extremely engaging and then 30 minutes into the call he FaceTimed me (unannounced) and I didn't have a scrap of make up on.....I didn answer and franticall tore off my Winnie the Pooh pjs and changed into jeans and a Shirt and answered on the second ring...he wasn't put off by my au naturelle look as he has text lots and wants to fix a date....I'm not used to a man chasing me like this....I think I rather like it....he was very good looking....although he looks older than 47 but could have just been the lighting.

Just popping in to say hi Pringle I'm still nosey reading the thread for now. Dating a previous iron and not on OLD. Hoping a fun and interesting iron comes your way soon.

That sounds promising New :)

I cracked and set up tinder. I'd my heart broken over a month ago by man I was seeing for over a year. Have since found out, through the wonderful Facebook, that his change of feelings was actually him hooking up with an old ex. :(

Last two weeks all I've done is be sad. So today I said feck it and set up tinder.

Been chatting to an Italian, who will be called Mr. Italian, naturally. He seems very normal and was nice to talk to. Have a coffee date loosely set up for Saturday, but will not get hopes up for this happening. He looks cute in pics but it's so hard to tell if you'll fancy the person in real life.

I'm not sure if this is the best thing to do, but I am so sick of being sad and hurting from the rejection.
But I will not overinvest.
I will repeat this in head over and over.

Thanks couch and needanewlife
Mr Irish (met in a bar) is very long distance and has caring responsibilities so is only ever going to be an occasional fb/fwb type thing but he is very sweet

Mr Wig (met online) is nearer. Still messaging incessantly after meeting yesterday.

Still may come to nothing but a lot better than my previous run of luck!

Hi guys,

I have a question. I am on Tinder and Bumble, im a guy. I very rarely get matches and i don't know why. What makes you swipe right, is it only if you fancy him?

Rk I do only swipe if I fancy someone but I've recently been helping some guy friends with their profiles & these are the changes that have made a difference...

• Check your photos (especially the first one). Show your photo choice to female friends. Do you look happy & welcoming or do you look (as another poster mentioned, like a serial killer).

• make sure your first photo isn't a group shot, a shot with a tiger, a topless shot, a shot with fish or posing with a car.

• if your pics include women make it clear that they're your sister/cousin/best friend & not your wife.

• make sure you have more than one pic

• make sure you have a (not too serious but not entirely jokey) blurb. Writing something is always better than nothing

• check your settings. Is your distance too small, is your age range wide enough, etc. A few tweaks here makes all the difference.

• are you using the apps every day. The more you use them the more often you are in the front of people's choices.

And finally if you've been on for a while (month +) without matches, delete the apps & then re-download them. It kinda refreshes everything.

A friend of mine made these changes and went from no matches to 20 in 48 hours so def worth doing!

thanks! I wouldnt mind sending my photo to some of you for feedback

Rk I swipe on people that I think look normal and friendly, obviously I need to find them attractive but not necessarily fancy them. I don't swipe on people that are holding a pint, have their children in a photo or have a cigarette in their hand. I have only been on one date from Tinder, have chatted to a few people but because I live in a rural area most people on there live too far away.

Th thing is, in my photo i do none of those things ie hold a fish , a pint, shirt off, bathroom selfie,l pose with a car or motorbike.

My photos are a normal one with a smile, and one skiing one.

I'm baffled why i get no matches at all.

Ok people, I need your help, I'm likely to out myself but here goes. I work as a support worker in mental health, one of the men I work with is desperate for a girlfriend but because of his mental health issues (which are quite severe) he finds it hard to form relationships with women, he also struggles with socialising and being out in public. I have been asked to help find a safe way he can online date. I have looked for dating sites that specialise in mental health but can only really find one, the fact he can not drive and lives in a rural area is going to make it tricky to find anyone near by. I feel POF could be quite dangerous for him as he could easily be taken advantage of. Are there any sites that are a bit more tame but must be free?

Rk I'm lucky if I get one match a week, I do find Tinder hard work but the people I have chatted too on their seem a lot nicer than the people on POF. Are you on other sites too? I just use tinder as a extra on top of POF.

Love What about something like eharmony where people are more interested in a relationship? Also as it's more quantitative it might be a safer bet?

I'm on POF and Match too.