The sentence that ended your relationship

[OhHolyFuck]

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

"Where have you gone?"
Asked of me by an old friend I hadn't seen for a couple of years. She made me realise that he was eroding all the parts of me that didn't fit what he wanted me to be. I laughed too loud, shouldn't drink spirits, should go to the gym more, read less, work harder, earn more, get a tan, straighten my hair, wear more make-up and different clothes, keep my opinions to myself...To this day, I still cannot work out what happened to make me so willing to change myself so much for him. And I'm so very grateful I bumped into my old friend that day.
I laugh very loudly again, now.

LEM 25 years here too x

colourunginagain did you used to be Coloringinqueen?

I don't know what happens next

I dated someone else briefly when I was 21 and on a break from my ex. I realised that one was over when he demanded that I get up early on a rare day off from college to talk about our future. I had a blackout the night before so was still feeling headachy and groggy. We were walking in bright sunlight which was making me feel worse. He just laughed at me and said "Come on Bus!"

My now ex best friend was with us. We stopped in a cafe and I told him about the blackout and he said I was being a drama queen and it was probably a migraine. I get migraines occasionally but have yet to black out from one. Ex best friend just smiled smugly and said Ex Twat knows his stuff as he's training to be a children's nurse. I realised at that point that I wasn't happy and ended it 2 weeks later.

1. "Big brother is watching you"
2. " HAHA that told you! " After horribly rough sex

Met up with my best friend from school after years without contact. After a few weeks on a phone call to my friend when my then DH was out, supposedly with his mates OW , my friend said 'you sound like an abused wife'. I realised there and then that all his comments about how useless, ugly and stupid I was, were exactly that - abuse.

I started planning my escape that night. Took a while longer, but when I finally kicked him out I've never felt more relieved or happy.

Sorry to derail thread but as I read:
Scribblegirl Wed 13-Sep-17 19:16:19
Nothing in comparison to many of these but -
"This song is like our relationship"

It was Common People by Pulp, played in the dingy boozer we liked to frequent in those days. He was a bit of an anarchist and had told me previously that he felt uncomfortable dating 'the bourgeoisie' - defined by the fact that my parents owned their own house and I speak with an RP accent. I didn't give a fuck about backgrounds and, at the time, shared many of his ideals thankfully much older and more cynical now! I love that song (or did until it ruined a relationship!) but he was hardly Jarvis Cocker and after paying rent on my shitty ex council flat while trying to get a job, I certainly couldn't afford to buy him rum and coke wink

I'm watching Most Shocking TV Moments on C5 and I swear as I read this thread Common People started playing on my TV as they showed Jarvis storming the stage when Michael Jackson played Earth Song. Honestly - the exact moment I read the post!

As you were.

After years of shit him saying out of the blue: ' if I go first I don't want you at my funeral'.

"You know I don't do emotions"
And when he signed his e-mail to me "kind regards" or just left his automatic signature from work.......

Back to the point.

"I slept with Stacey two weeks ago"
Two weeks previously was my birthday.

"I wasn't doing it til I did"- I'd just found out after him lying to my face, something he'd promised to not do again. I had a lightbulb "well, if he can apply that logic to this he will to anything, cheating etc" moment.
He left me crying to go to work (self employed, could have taken exactly 1 minute to see if I was ok.) I left that day.

"I've changed the locks and you can't have your bed back til I've fucked someone else in it. Gutted." Same charmer, responding to my v. neutral text about getting all my belongings (lived together) really cemented that I wasn't going back.
The 10 A4 page letter (front AND back!) alternating between calling me a vile whore, accusing me of shagging my best friend (i wasn't) and saying I'd made up the MMC I'd had 2years earlier despite the fact he'd taken me to hospital ("I knew you were lying about it, i could tell by the dr's face" ) and then schizophrenically flipping to bleating about how much he'd done for me, how he'd done up the bedroom to exactly how i would have loved it (it was entirely to his taste, not mine at all ) and how we should be snuggled up right now on the new sofa he'd bought for us, really made me see him for what he was. On ignoring said letter and blocking him on everything he stalked me and left me a message on Instagram (which he'd never had previously) saying I'd never survive without him and he couldn't wait to see me wash up somewhere

There were a few nails many , I was a slow learner, but I learned

I'm also currently sitting in Australia waiting for my lovely, delightful partner to return from work, the knot of anxiety and IBS have all but gone and I am just happy.. and I got here all by myself! So fuck him, the selfish, self-centred careless arsetwat 🖕

It wasn't really what he said but I had just had enough of the emotional and physical abuse and the bullying.

I had been out food shopping for a couple of hours (there was still food in the cupboards)and when I walked in he shouted where the F have you been I am F hungry....for the first time ever I answered back....well you know where the F kitchen is....he dived to his feet and lunged at me....I shouted go on then,do you know what you have hit me so many times it doesn't F hurt anymore....he walked out the door and when I was sure he had gone I walked out too

'You didn't really want that did you?' said by exP after sex I very obviously didn't want but he had continued with until he finished regardless. No going back from that.

"It's like you look ok in your clothes but I deserve a girl who looks good in a bikini" He smacked the crap out of me the after but I kind of like to think I'd still have called my Mum for help because then I realised who he was. He just shortened the process.
"You're wearing your lipstick again". I wear bright red lipstick. Stopped it. Went home due to the above and met with some friends who's seen us together and knew I'd never go back.

They won't believe you when I took myself off to the hospital after being anally raped. He showed up at said hospital and demanded to see me and wanted to know what bullshit I'd said happened. He was arrested for making a scene but he was released the next morning I was long gone by then.

sorry everyone is posting such awful stories..mine was actaully quite funny...my exdh or as i call him dexh...as he really is a darling ex husband...opened a bottle of champagne and we had a really lovely heart to heart and i saw a picture of 'not gerald' and approved of him ...and we were able to pretty much sort everything out in one evening

my dexh and not gerald are still happily together and we often do stuff all together, such as christmas day lunch

Jelly, your lovely heart to heart talk is sad. To have been married and for it to become a lovely heart to heart talk saddens me a great deal for some reason.

Who's Gerald? Is it a modern day saying to describe something?

Wow. Pick a card, any card. Looking back there was a wake-up call though....

We lived in my (huge and very beautiful) childhood home for 7 years rent free, just paying utilities bills, because I was carer for elderly Aged Mama (passed away a year ago) who had dementia and was incontinent and completely nocturnal, wandering around house at night leaving toast on fire etc. She was receiving higher rate attendance allowance.

DH works part-time from home as a v. well-paid IT consultant, I work zero-hours contract shifts in a museum and run my own internet business from home, as well as managing DM and DH's financial affairs, handle all household admin, cooking, cleaning, maintenance etc. Worked minimum 60 hours+ per week for many years, but got a 1st class degree as a mature student (took out massive student loan) and passed my driving test in my 50s too. And my DS has ASD, so helped tutor him through school and into uni. I earn around 1/5th DH's income.

Me - coming home in tears from dentist 2 years ago with unexpected £1,300 bill for essential root canal work, otherwise I'll lose all my back molars.
STBEX - 'And that is my problem, how?'.

His money is HIS. End Of. Dear readers, I put dental bill on my credit card and am still paying it off. He is STB-ex as from next month. Can't wait.

'I'm going to spend this weekend with my friend OW again.
Oh and our marriage is broken.'

Gosh I'm so proud of so many of the pps here who have bravely left such horrible partners.

My experience isn't nearly as awful but my first husband was the most miserable, bitter (a chip on both shoulders) sort of person I've ever encountered and of course this side of him didn't emerge until after we were married. He really blamed the world for any woes he had, in fact one of his higher up bosses once asked me in all seriousness how I could bear to live with him... not surprisingly one of the many things he was bitter about was that fact that he couldn't seem to get himself promoted in his career, he was a nightmare to have to manage (according to a different supervisor who shared that with me). I'd known for years that I was unhappy and I found myself avoiding him to be honest - any reason to be out of the house and away from him. I also made damn sure that I would never get accidentally pregnant - knowing you never, ever want to have children with someone should have been the final reason to accept that I needed to leave but it dragged on.

The straw that finally broke the camel's back wasn't even about me, it was his anger and hatred of suddenly having to report to a very senior female boss. Of all the things I already disliked about him I didn't have him pegged as a misogynist until that point. Once I heard him and his male colleagues spewing vile things about his female boss who had done nothing wrong other than be his boss I suddenly knew that I couldn't spend another day of my life with this pathetic person. I never looked back :)

to all the posters here. Compared to so many of these awful testaments of cruelty, mine must seem almost offensively trite.

But the truth is, I'm just emerging from the fog of an abusive relationship that has lasted for 15 years. I haven't mentioned the vile incidents that resulted in him getting a police caution, or inspired my counsellor, GP and family to tell me to get a SHL (which I did!) , or for the tough love convos where my dearest friends told me wouldn't talk to me again if I took him back. My anecdote is simply the weird and random light-bulb moment that helped me on the way to psychological freedom. Love and respect to all my sisters survivors

Me very early one morning snuggling up hoping for a quick half hour before thevkids woke
"The thing is, there's this woman at work"
Beginning of a very long road but it was in that moment.

Thanks for starting this thread. It's sad to read how how awful people can be but uplifting to see how strong people can be too.

After having a few months of discussions and arguments about me wanting to move in together, been together about 5 years.

"Look, I don't see I'll ever move in with you, I need to be able to wank any time I want".

"We were only ever just friends who shag, I told you that"

He didn't.