The sentence that ended your relationship

[OhHolyFuck]

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

After three years of PND and PTSD from childbirth, I asked him why he didn't get me help when he had seen me self harming during those years. His response: "if i ever see anyone in trouble, I think it's nothing to do with me, I don't feel any sympathy or empathy for anyone, it's their problem to sort it out. You were a different person after that birth and I hated you". Within a week of that conversation, I printed divorce forms off, filled them in on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, and posted them away. Best thing I have ever done.

"You're a fucking mental bitch" ( am currently battling depression, anxiety and going for CBT)

" Do you think the authorities will let you keep custody of our kids having a mental case for a mom? I think not"

"You look like a fucking prostitute in them shoes"

"You look like a slut with all that make-up on"

"No one is going to want you and your mental problems" jabbing his finger into his head repeatedly.

"even your own family can't stand you."

I found an email he sent on my birthday to another girl and he denied the knowledge. He then admitted it and said that it was all my fault and that I don't show him any affection or attention. Apprantly the girl never emailed him back- funny thing is, the bullshit story was that he found her because he'd bought something off her on eBay and used her PayPal email.... Ok, I'm so fucking dumb.

"Your mom's a lunatic kids"

"Your mom is always shouting at daddy"

"Your mom hates daddy"

"Fuck off" at the top of his most angry voice, infront of the kids

"No wonder you've got so many acne spots on your face, behaving like that)

The list is endless..... I'm still with him.

One day I'll be free...

Funny thing is, I'm actually never short of male attention but of course, any male I speak to I'm shagging them and that it's not me he doesn't trust,it's other men. Oh and all women Are slags.....

Me and the boyfriend were on separate nights out. I'd missed my train home so was alone in a different town at night. I text him to tell him and he replied 40 minutes later 'Lol i'm just off out for a curry'. He clearly didn't give a damn about me. This had been the icing on the cake with some other selfish things he'd done and the fact he kept banging on about his ex wife all the time.

He sent a few texts, after the night out, offered me a 'fauxpology' those famous weak words 'I'm sorry if you feel that way'... blah blah.. rang me up with his pitiful voice leaving an answerphone message. I text him not to bother and that I wouldn't be seeing him again. Good riddance!

@CussyPat OMG he sounds like a complete psychopath! I hope you manage to escape from him before he ruins everyone's lives! You need an escape plan! hugs to you

"Oh look kids, silly mummy hit herself in the face with a laptop"

He had said and done far worse things, but the phrase that finally opened my eyes was "Well I am."

I'd been trying to fix things - again - and had just said, "I'm not happy."

That was his response, "Well I am."

I finally realised that I didn't even feature as a real person in his world. My happiness or not wasn't relevant. It freed me in a way nothing else could. If he didn't care about my happiness, then I wasn't responsible for his. It gave me the space to disengage.

By the time I finally left I had no feelings for him at all. On that day he said, "This is it, if you leave now I will never take you back."

"I know." I said with a smile, and walked out the door.

If I could bottle that feeling, when the millstone is finally taken away from around your neck, then I would. I cannot believe the life I used to live. It's so alien to me now. Thank god... or should that be mumsnet?

It's enough to put any of us off being single at any point, in case we meet up with these completely oblivious, self interested psychopaths who clearly walk amongst us and are ok enough for a while to attract intelligent, smart women !

If I could bottle that feeling, when the millstone is finally taken away from around your neck, then I would

OMG yes, Chris!!! That feeling!!! The closest I can come to it is the feeling when you've just given birth or when your adopted child is placed in your arms for the first time. Power and freedom and a new life, all right there for you.

If there are those of you who are reading these stories or who have posted and not yet left, I urge you to start your own threads. Even if you are not 'there yet' on your path to freedom and a happy life, post and you will get support and suggestions to help you on your way.

When I found out he and his mate visited a prostitute (way before we were together). But it was how he talked about it like he just nipped to the shops to pick something up. That and how is was fine cause he didnt actually sleep with her cause he couldnt get it up. Took a few more months to end things but i've never gotten over this part. He went away breaks all the time with this mate and I couldn't bear hearing his name after this either.

Acrossthepond, it's amazing. I swear I floated for a week. I was taller, I couldn't stop smiling.

It wasn't all easy, but that feeling

When my brother said to me that I was glad our mother had died (young and suddenly), as it meant I could "play the martyr" and boss him about. This was after I begged him to please help me look after our dad and disabled brother so I could organise the funeral.

After visiting my step-father in hospital after he'd had a stroke with my mum and she had to look after the kids for and hour and a half. Really emotional and he was not looking well at all. Came back to the following line:

"What took you so long? The kids have been a nightmare!"

Thanks for the sympathy or asking about my step-dad....

From my emotionally, physically and mentally abusive ex;

"I love you both, you can't ask me to choose..."

He was right, I couldn't make him choose. I made his decision for him and left him sobbing on the hallway floor.

"If i stay im going to kill you"

Said less than two weeks after id left to go to stay at my mums after he had strangled me twice.
My collar bone still feels odd.

But this wasnt my light on day, it was a dimmed light on day that had me planning an alternate future ( with help from a thread on mumsnet).

My 100 watt light bulb moment was when i knew i could never go back, a couple of months ago.

He was in the hallway begging for sex whilst stroking my cheek and wedging his hand in my pants (i had answered the door seconds before thinking it was a parcel man and he had pushed in)

He was meant to be at my mums visiting the kids as i had not felt safe with him alone, due to constant and worsening assaults and thought it was better to do visits that way and he had just text me that he was there with the girls.

He said "the sex was for respect and to let him show me that he still respected me", said whilst hurting and squeezing my privates and breasts and trying to kiss me.

When i said no and repeating it then the usual shouting pushing and shoving started.

He said "this is the last time" as he was probably moving and getting married and having more kids "and i will hate him when that happens as i will be upset".

I said "no i wont be upset as i will get remarried and be happy and live my life and maybe have more kids too".
Not sure why i responded with anything.

He replied "no man will want you as your only for sex, your body is only for sex".

I didnt answer.
He continued" and ill kill him, ill kill you" drawing his nail across my throat "and ill kill your new kids".

He has done the throat thing to me many time before but the "ill kill your kids" sent shivers down my spine. It was said with such venom and certainty.

I have spent months planning a new life but deep down just wanting to be with my ea, sa, fa, pa husband of ten years, (been together 11)
but hey i know better now.

Im going and not looking back, its taking a move from my hometown and secrecy to rival the cia but it will be worth it to not be assaulted, stalked, abused, accused, threatened, blackmailed and begged/threatened for sex and the hundred other things that he does. Feel like a sitting duck till im moved but i survived him so ill survive this too.

and to all you amazing women.

You will survive flirtygirl and flourish.

Thankyou Elephantoverthehill.

Oh flirtygirl good for you

Oh flirty!!

My ex tried to sexually assault me after we had split, too. We'd been apart for about 6 months and we had to file our taxes jointly that one final time. He cam over and everything went smoothly until it was time for him to leave and wham, I found my self pinned against a wall. His excuse was 'It's not like we've never done it before, you know. What's the big deal?'. What the fuck is the matter with these fuckers!!!??

Yetmorecrap - I disagree, it's enough to make you want to stay single forever!!

"I bought a copy of the Daily Mail to read together"

"Where are the children?, you best pack me a bag, I've done a really stupid thing." Uttered to me last night in a phone call, turns out my DH of 14 years has spent the last year sexting, having an emotional affair and finally sleeping with her a few months ago. Ended in March apparently. Turns out he wanted a little excitement. Urgh.

Never thought I'd be posting on Relationships, never thought he could do that, never thought I'd end up a single mum of 3, one of whom has ASD.

I'm broken.

The sexual assault thing is about exerting control isn't it? People act in such vile ways towards each other.

IFartGlitter Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately there's no telling. Hope you've got some support.

I broke it off with another ex as I was feeling trapped and suffocated. He emailed my friend and said When I was seeing Hunter, I was also seeing someone else and she's now carrying my second child. Tell her to take care and have a good life but it will never be as good as mine.

Not long after he tried to break into my flat, leaving me feeling unsafe and with depression. I had nightmares of him breaking in and chasing me with a knife.

Happily I'm now living in a beautiful house and teach vulnerable adults about healthy relationships. I've had counselling to come to terms with what happened and my next step will be to do the Freedom Programme so I no longer attract abusive losers.

for everyone who on here.

The more I read these, the more it makes me more determined to get away.

Well done to those who have finally gone.

Not sure when my light will go on, I'm still having the ceiling rewired...