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Original poster

The sentence that ended your relationship

513 replies

OhHolyFuck · 13/09/2017 17:09

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

OP posts:
trevthecat · 16/09/2017 15:40

I was pretty sure he was seeing someone else but had no proof, was heavily pregnant with our second child.ds was 2yo. My nan died after being in hospital for 5 months. On the day of her funeral he said he was 'too tired' to have our son whilst I attended.

3 months later on Nye he made excuses not to spend it with me.(he was with ow) I spent my evening with my sister, 3 bottles of wine, packing his stuff.

A lot more involved, he was emotionally and physically abusive.

New year's day I put his bags outside the front door, rang a locksmith friend and then got him to collect his stuff.
That was nearly 5 years ago. Haven't seen him since. He doesn't see the kids.

3wayburger · 16/09/2017 15:48

You're a unattractive,uneducated, embarrassing mess.
When I asked why he was having an affair.

I'm neither of those things, he has even said that he just said it to deflect blame for his actions.

What ever mate! Pack your bags and get out!

totoromama · 16/09/2017 15:59

Sorry

indigox · 16/09/2017 22:32

"I'm drinking with people who understand me" - When he was supposed to meet DS and I, yet didn't show and ignored me for hours after supporting him through months of depression. As we were both aware that even the smallest amount of alcohol would trigger huge depressive episodes/suicide threats (that I became responsible for getting him through!) he chose to spend the evening getting wasted (in a park of all places, like some unruly teenager despite being a 40 yr old company director).

It had been a shitty few months but for some reason that sentence made me realise it didn't matter how much I tried to help him, it was over, he didn't want the help. I went home, laid on the floor and cried for about 3 hours, I just couldn't move. I haven't seen him since.

I was severely depressed for 3 months after that, I knew it was over but I still had hope that he'd eventually come back, and I'm ashamed to say at that point I would have taken him back. Until Christmas Eve when I found out he'd been sleeping with someone else for the duration, he'd "found someone that believes in him", and me saying he shouldn't drink, and take a step back from work during his mental health issues wasn't showing belief in him/support. At that point I realised it didn't matter what I did, I wasn't the one for him, he wanted an ego boost so got one from the much younger woman telling him everything he wanted to hear. Massive wake up call, I finally reached the point where I was able to move on.

AfunaMbatata · 16/09/2017 23:00

"You're too fat to fuck"- on our wedding night.

Still with him but it was another nail in the coffin .
Fucking bastard.

PsychedelicSheep · 16/09/2017 23:13

God this has been depressing reading Sad

So glad you've made it out, and for those that haven't, keep believing you deserve better Flowers

Ruby - the seagull and the sandwich story was hilarious! Not surprised you dumped him, what a baby!

WhingyNinja · 16/09/2017 23:14

I'm so sorry to read your post Borninatrap, I hope you binned the bastard and paid no mind to his vile remarks. Flowers

therealpippi · 17/09/2017 00:27

I have so many I can literally nail a coffin tight with it.
My hat goes out to all if you who walked it so fast. No idea why I couldn't.
I did in the end but almost apologising and not quite shutting the door behind me.
It's not funny how Any of these things said to a stranger made me cringe but said to me made me think "I can take it, it's ok."

It's not ok.

Lightheartedindeed · 17/09/2017 00:53

💐 pippi

BendyBusBuggy · 17/09/2017 01:02

Not a sentence but:

He made a friend eat an onion.

We were all drunk but she was so humiliated. And I didn't stop him. This is many many years ago but I will rightly never forgive myself.

OutToGetYou · 17/09/2017 01:07

When he said my sister should apologise to her husband who had left her for another woman and ask him to come back, and say she would try harder to be more affectionate.
His view appeared to be that men go off with other women because women aren't affectionate enough (affection meant sex to him). I asked if he was trying to pre justify his own affair.
We split about 6m later, and a few months after that I found he'd had a profile on a sex website live for five years longer than we had been together, so he had been shagging around.

ChampagneCommunist · 17/09/2017 10:12

You are all so courageous!

kittybiscuits · 17/09/2017 10:46

There were many things it should have been. But what it actually was was something my DD said. Her behaviour towards me had been getting worse including physical violence. The three of us sat down to discuss this and DD said 'Look mum, me and dad hate you'. He replied 'Don't say that'. I knew then what I had to do. I never regretted it for a single second.

PricklyBall · 17/09/2017 10:56

It was actually two sentences.

Background - LTR, which (due to career issues) had had 9 months of long distance commuting at weekends in this country (200 mile round trip - which, surprise suprise I had mostly been the one doing, to the extent that I got ill), then two years of him in another country - initially he'd said we'd end it when he went abroad, then pleaded with me that he loved me and couldn't we give it a try?). He was due to return to this country and had a variety of job options, one of which would have been another 200 mile plus round trip in a place where I had no job options at all.

He sent me a 2 line email (no discussion, just a fait accompli). "I've decided to take the job in X. I hope we can find travel arrangements that work."

HadronCollider · 17/09/2017 11:08

God kittybiscuits that's vile! Thank god you left.WineFlowers

kittybiscuits · 17/09/2017 11:43

Thanks @HadronCollider , he's an evil pig. There's an awful lot of it about though.

TheSunnySide · 17/09/2017 11:55

I know 'there's nothing you can ever say or do that would stop me from doing what I want to' should have been the end but it took a few more years.

donerwillbehere · 17/09/2017 15:10

Tomato WineCakeFlowers

Bluebellforest1 · 17/09/2017 16:57

Sadly I'm still with him but have aligned ducks and am biding my time 10 years on.....
I was early 50's, we'd only been married a couple of years. I had a recall letter after a mammogram, saying there was an abnormality and giving me an appointment at a specialist centre for a scan. I was very upset and frightened, and all possibilities were cartwheeling through my head. He arrived home from work, I was crying. He ignored my distress and tried to tell me about his stressful day at work, I showed him the letter. He said "it's all about you isn't it"
Any love and respect I had for him died that day.

Bluebellforest1 · 17/09/2017 17:06

And another one, before 'd'h and I lived together: my best friend (friends since we were 2) had terminal cancer aged 50, I was travelling a 2 hour journey to see her every weekend to support her and her husband and kids. As well as working full time, and looking after my own teenage kids. He suggested I was spending too much time with her. On the night she died, I was there with her. I rang him later, distraught, he said "well it could have been worse, at least she wasn't family"
Why the fuck I married him I have no idea.

Listopad · 17/09/2017 19:11

'You've got a face like a slapped arse'. It was four days before Christmas and my father was dying in intensive care. I had reluctantly agreed to miss out on visiting time for an afternoon to take him to a retail park so that he could go shopping. I have long since moved on and am much happier now, but the sheer thoughtlessness of him looking back gives me chills.

Bluebellforest1 · 17/09/2017 19:51

Whoever said this thread is cathartic Flowers

jeaux90 · 17/09/2017 20:25

When he said women don't make good engineers. Straw that broke the camel's back.

OstentatiousWanking · 17/09/2017 20:33

What would you say to your daughter if she was you?

Said to me by a police officer in a police station after he was arrested for assaulting me. I was desperately trying to get him out because I was terrified of what he would do.
It was like a slap in the face and bought me straight to my senses. I asked them to keep him there while I got my stuff and never went back.
It was hell because I then had 6 months of horrific stalking. But I am so grateful to that police officer.

pinkingshears · 17/09/2017 23:44

I dont believe in child abuse. I mean, once a girl is over 12...

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