Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The sentence that ended your relationship

513 replies

OhHolyFuck · 13/09/2017 17:09

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

OP posts:
Fluerdelea · 15/09/2017 16:01

Mine's not happened yet but on the verge of when he mentions in passing anytine sion Im guessing "Some of the lads are going abroad on a golf trip and Im going too". Then I will know. Re-wind 12 months 2 trips abroad 1st one he hooked up with some girls just a laugh they were till I saw the FB friends request he'd sent (he said she had sent it) and the very friendly photos of them all (he ony accepted the friend request as he wanted to see photos). 3 months later a stag weekend in the UK which resulted in his having a text/phone/email hook up with another woman this time which prob would of gone further if I hadnt caught him out...oh and the fact he'd taken a loan out for £1,000 to cover this very expensive weekend.

So now Ive got wind of a golfing trip next year if he dares, dares to say he's going...it's finito!!!!

Offred · 15/09/2017 16:03

X2 - 'Girls should never weigh more than 12 stone. I will dump you if you get that fat'

I have big bones and am tall was 11st 3lbs. I stopped eating for a few weeks and went gym every day until I actually collapsed but still only got down to 10st 13lbs and looked painfully thin.

Also 'when you walk with me I don't like that you look at the floor. It makes you look unconfident, you need to remember to look up'

X2- 'You already do so much, you don't need to work as well'

Which was actually his statement of intent re me going stir crazy at home with kids that he wasn't going to take on any of the burden and if I got a job it would be in addition to what I already did.

X3 - so many 'that should have been the moment I walked away' times but the very very start of it was the very first date he took me to somewhere this girl he was practically stalking was to make her jealous - she wasn't because she had told him repeatedly she wasn't interested in him. I even said to him at one point 'am I just here to make OW jealous? Should I go?' Because he was really obvious about it...

AcrossthePond55 · 15/09/2017 16:13

I am gobsmacked! Do you know, I can't remember!! I know he (abusive ex) said something and my response was "You're right. Now get the fuck out of this house".

But it was 39 years ago and I've remarried and had two children. I guess I've replaced a lot of bad memories with good ones.

lilybetsy · 15/09/2017 16:18

" Never mention his name to me again" from my ExP about my eldest son (not his)

I had retained hope that we could have some kind of relationship even though we no longer lived together, but that sentence summed it all up for me. Went no contact immediately.

onanotherday · 15/09/2017 16:27

..more of a time than a sentence...at a dinner party with close friends...him being DJ.....he dedicated the song to me...." everyday I love you less and less".....BlushSad......

Lovelylovelyllamas · 15/09/2017 16:29

We were doing a house renovation and the builder asked me a question. When I gave him the answer he said "oh no Mrs Llama, I'll have to speak to Mr Llama first" I don't know why but at that moment I knew I did not wanted to be married for one second longer.....

Hitrouble · 15/09/2017 17:30

Little bit of background, I was out alone, DD at home with him, I didn't drive.

We had an argument whilst I was out, i said I wanted things to change (five years of rape, sexual abuse, violence, screwing with my head) and the text message I got was "i will pick you up only if you become a better wife in bed and don't complain anymore about the ways things are, it's who I am and none of that will change. If you want to leave then I won't pick you up and you'll never see DD again".

yetmorecrap · 15/09/2017 18:05

Crikey Hitrouble, what a cu**. I would have been googling solicitors whilst out !!

rosabug · 15/09/2017 18:29

many years ago when I said:
"You don't fancy me" he replied sadly "I don't fancy anyone"
About 4 years ago, When he was going on a work trip to Brazil and said "apparently there are more Prostitutes per square mile in San Paulo than anywhere else" and kind of smirked.
Those are the moments I should have left. In fact the latter one precipitated our death, because I went on OKC and got laid a number of times because I'd had it with our sexless relationship. When I type it out he sounds such a cunt.

SacharissaCrisplock · 15/09/2017 18:55

Many, many years ago having a pissed discussion with my ex, his best friend and me about sexuality and people being gay, straight, bi etc.

I was arguing that sexuality was a spectrum and that I found certain personality traits and physical characteristics attractive and it wasn't necessarily just because someone was male or female. He was arguing against that and said it was a black and white issue. I asked him if that was the case why did he find me attractive. His reply: 'you are closer than America (where the woman he apparently wanted to be with instead of me) and you have a cunt'.

Took me another few months and being thrown across the kitchen floor to realise he really was a complete dickhead but that was 17 years ago and life is so much better now.

MayJuneJuly · 15/09/2017 19:07

Fluffypinkpyjamas thank you! There are so many amazing women on this thread Flowers

MichelGarnier - the first doctor at the scan stood up and sort of stood between us. That's why he left I think. He didn't like his mask slipping in front of others. She held my hand whilst we waited for someone from the ward to collect me and kept telling me it wasn't my fault, twin pregnancies are always high risk etc. I think it was explained to the ward staff what had happened as they were all so kind.

The doctor discharging me suggested he bring the car to the entrance and whilst he was doing that she offered to call me a taxi to take me elsewhere. At the time, my only thought was that I had no money for a cab!

I volunteer with a DV charity now and I hope these days the recognition and support would be better.

BonTemps · 15/09/2017 19:15

Him - She's my best friend. You're just my wife.
Packed up what I could carry, and left. All I can say is I love being single Grin

nigelsbigface · 15/09/2017 19:21

'I don't think you are capable of being happy' I agreed to some extent.I wasn't capable of being happy with him. Funnily enough I'm happy as Larry now I'm rid, despite his best attempts...arrogant twat.

fannythrobbing · 15/09/2017 19:37

I've some corners from my past of manky specimens...the one that took the biscuit was partner of 7 years had cheated for the 3rd time. He left but he spent the year our house was on the market begging me to take him back. He was in an official relationship with the OW by this point. Once the house sold we met at the house to divide the final property (he got everything I just went to get my books and cds) he was nice and tanned so I asked where he'd been, on holiday - with the girlfriend "but I still want you back, I can't believe this is the end of us"
"But you clearly love her?"
"I'm not saying I don't but I love you too..."
That was it. After a year of believing I'd lost the love of my life I never looked back.

MarciaBlaine · 15/09/2017 20:09

My exh said something along the lines of he'd been speaking with his mother and "you need to start behaving like a proper wife or leave" I asked what being a proper wife entailed. It was to do with cooking, cleaning and being like his mother basically. I replied that I would leave in that case and went to pack a bag. He was quite honestly astounded by this. Twat.

MarciaBlaine · 15/09/2017 20:20

20 odd years on I actually doubted my recollection that what was what he said as I couldn't believe I could ever have married such a specimen. But yes he did. My divorce documents (my unreasonable behaviour) have a great line about "when we go to the pub, she occupies herself with drinking and her friends". I was 23 - that was surely the reason to go to the pub? I hasten to add that I wasn't a raging alcoholic or anything and that a trip to the pub on a Fri/Sat night were things we both enjoyed (apparently) Twat.

xqwertyx · 15/09/2017 20:49

"Its your kid that causes all our problems and arguments" said by him.

My son is 5. I enjoyed every second of walking away and that one statement made it oh so easy

Upyerbum70 · 15/09/2017 21:08

Morning time. Ex going to work. I stand at the front door with new baby in arms... 4 yr old next to me... not coping... in floods of tears I said 'I'm not coping very well' ... and he just walked off. "See you later".

Upyerbum70 · 15/09/2017 21:11

Another one ...The love of my life.. met a woman when at a hippy festival and left me several weeks later saying 'she's nice and warm and the kids like her" (almost as if to say "you'd like her"). Broke me. 4 years ago this week. Still pissed off.

empra · 15/09/2017 21:29

Spread your legs. Texted to some other woman. One of many.

tomatopuree · 15/09/2017 21:37

Lots of lovely replies. Just thought I'd update where my life went.

It was horrible so very horrible until I met my husband 5 1/2 years ago. I have a beautiful little boy and I'm a student nurse.

My experience has made my course so much easier and my reviews also talk about how easy I find dealing with the most difficult patients.

When I left my daughters dad things were awful. Sadly my daughter who I was close to now no longer chooses to spend any time with me. Without sounding like an I took you to stately homes type of parent..I know without a doubt that our relationship was irreparably damaged by her dad's vile behaviour towards me.

I wish it were a happy ending. For the most part it is. I just have lost the relationship with my beautiful daughter.

I will forever be grateful to the Psychiatrist who saw my situation and for women's aid who took me in and helped me get my life back in order.

dudsville · 15/09/2017 21:40

"No!", as if he was correcting a dog's bad behaviour.

GallicosCats · 15/09/2017 21:58

First BF at university: 'We'll probably carry on till we graduate and then split up.' We limped on for another few weeks I think.

Second BF when I rang him after my disappointing finals results hoping for some company and a chat: 'I've got to go - I'm meeting someone in a bit'. I whipped my pen out (this was pre-emails and texts) and wrote him a Dear John letter.

FiveBoys · 15/09/2017 22:08

Tomato Puree, does your daughter live with her Dad and how old is she now?

RyVeeta · 15/09/2017 22:35

When he told me to breathe differently in a sentence because the way I was doing it was deliberately setting him up to misconstrue what I was saying.
I kid you not!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.