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Original poster

The sentence that ended your relationship

513 replies

OhHolyFuck · 13/09/2017 17:09

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

OP posts:
yetmorecrap · 14/09/2017 14:58

Indeed Little lights, I'm sure my DH would be inundated as he def isn't nasty, very good looking for 50 odd and with a cool job, problem is they don't come with a name tag saying hi I'm xxx and I have slight nut case tendencies and fly off the handle a lot at trivial crap

missanony · 14/09/2017 15:02

I just want to focus on my everchanging but always failing business, I can't put any more into a relationship

I don't find you attractive anymore, you've let yourself go Hmm

Last one wasn't so good for the ego

GunslingerPie · 14/09/2017 15:09

"I'm sorry, I've got another kid".

15 years together and our own children.

His other kid was 2 years oldSad

This was about 6 months ago and I have never looked back.

Hoppinggreen · 14/09/2017 15:13

Not me but my friend.
Her long term bf and father of her youngest child
" thing is, yes I could get a job but what if I just wake up and the sun is shining and I just want to go fishing instead?"
She has a VERY good highly paid job and works long hours and no he wasn't doing any house stuff/childcare either - she replaced him with an aupair and everyone is happier

MaMisled · 14/09/2017 15:13

We had just attended my 36 yr old best friends funeral. We arrived home, I was wrung out and crying and hurting. He said "We've got half hour before the kids are brought back and you need to sort out this erection".

That was the end of that!

missanony · 14/09/2017 15:18

Gunslinger what a twat.

Juststopit · 14/09/2017 15:20

'But it was only texts and calls'. Yes when you were on holiday with me and our kids, when you were still sleeping with me and hugging me and telling me that everything would be ok. When I was at breaking point with my mental health because I knew, just knew, there was something going on. And now you tell me that you think there is a 15% chance that you want to get back with me. I don't think so! It's only been 3 weeks and I m so much better without you!

There's some strong women on here and some absolute pricks of men Smile

namechanger2735 · 14/09/2017 15:23

I told him I was pregnant with our second child the day before. He told me he didn't want it, wouldn't do it, didn't know what the future held for us if I didn't abort.
I went to my parents and broke down, text him "should I arrange to stay here temporarily until me and DC find somewhere else to go" thinking it would shock him into thinking about what he was doing.. "I don't see any other choice"
I got home to him and a bunch of suitcases awaiting me, I moved out the following 3AM.

Monkeybunkey · 14/09/2017 15:26

Him - "You've got no time for me any more". While my mother was in intensive care 100 miles away following an 8-hour transplant operation.

What made it worse was that 2 years previously I had practically lived next to his hospital bed while he was in intensive care for a week so he of all people should have realised how all-consuming that situation is.

pudding21 · 14/09/2017 15:33

The most memorable for me " why don't you fuck off and drop dead of cancer" not long after I had lost a best friend at a very young age to breast cancer. It was over then but took me 3 more years to leave. We weren't even arguing he was pissed off at me for something stupid.

" You cry a lot don't you, I see that level of emotion a weakness": he had been horrendous to me, I was fucking miserable and I yes I cry but I am most certainly not a cry at anything type of girl. i cry at suprise suprise, sad films, when I see other people sad or hurt and when I feel deeply hurt. I can be quite controlled normally.

And finally to my 8 year old son " Mummy never does anything, she never puts anything back and lets me do it all". When he wasn't working, I was working full time, traveling a lot long haul, still sorting the kids out most of the time, on a committee for out local social club, sorting kids school, birthdays, holidays, bills, health shit: basically everything bar cleaning. This was a rant because there was no tissues in the glove box of the car. There are many many more. I have a long rope.

I left 8 months ago......

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/09/2017 16:25

My EA ex-fiance:

SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT

I walked out and left my engagement ring behind.

Arsehole!

Racmactac · 14/09/2017 16:32

When he called my then 11 year old a fucking cunt because he made noise early in the morning.

(Sadly ds now lives with him and thinks do is wonderful)

MrsGrindah · 14/09/2017 20:33

When he told me his mate was having an affair and laughed and said " Good on him!"

ferriswheel · 14/09/2017 21:19

Just walk to the bin. Walk to the bin.

But really when he told me about his 'mates' in the computer.

Who knew you could marry someone and they could actually completely change?

LadyFuchsiaGroan · 14/09/2017 21:27

After putting up with him sexting random women (and work colleagues) and invariably being told I was imaging it or my behaviour was causing it, I asked him did he think I would put up with this forever? His response yeah why wouldn't you, he was gone the next week (would have been sooner but as mn has taught me, had to get my ducks in a row and he never saw it coming!)

Even though I never posted any of my relationship problems on mn just reading through the relationship boards and other threads was enough to help me see what an absolute Cocklodger he was.

MayJuneJuly · 14/09/2017 23:07

17, pregnant with twins and in a very abusive relationship. I had a scan and they discovered that the pregnancy had stopped progressing. He went from doting daddy holding my hand to throwing my hand down and shouting "what did you do? what the fuck did you do you stupid bitch??" before it had even sunk in to me what the doctor was trying to explain.

He left me at the hospital alone and actually sat for a cuppa with my mum before he explained where I was. I came round to him asking the nurse for her number and her trying to politely decline again and again.

His sentence at the scan ended it for me but the final nail in the coffin was when they were discharging me a few days later and the doctor said "of course, you should refrain from sex for six weeks" and he butted in "6 weeks?? are you fucking serious?"

All I could feel throughout the whole thing was relief. Because babies would have tied me to this man forever. I grieved for them of course but I felt like they'd set me free in a way.

8 weeks later I secretly took a live in job somewhere and walked out when he was at work.

lollipop7 · 14/09/2017 23:35

Being told "for once you're lucky we're not married. If we were I'd have you sectioned"

Still breathtaking to me in its sheer hideousness

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 14/09/2017 23:42

MayJuneJuly

You were so young to go through all that! So glad you left the evil bastard. You're amazing, you should know that. Fucking amazing. Flowers

IDismyname · 14/09/2017 23:56

@strongasmeringue Its v hard to throw away something that you've spent 25 years doing! If it was an affair, it would be more clear cut ( in my book), but it's just a series of events which lead me to think he has no respect for me any more. I've lost respect for him, too.

I've been ill for a long time with low grade stress related stuff, which I'm only just starting to piece together.

I am finding therapy hugely helpful in getting clarity, and am busy resurrecting my career after 19 years at home. I'm also busy getting my ducks in a row ( to coin the MN phrase).

I want to be 100% certain that when I make the decision, that it's the right one.

MichelGarnier · 15/09/2017 00:14

MayJuneJuly Flowers though I'm so glad you got out. It sounds from your post that the doctors in both situations heard what your DP was saying. Did they not take you aside at any point to say are you ok etc? I know this is maybe a few years ago now and they perhaps weren't aware of abusive relationships etc but to see you at 17 and let you think that was fine...

anotherprosecco · 15/09/2017 00:42

My relationship with my sister - my husband had major life-saving surgery for cancer and was in remission and would have been terminal. She was recently widowed. She glared at my OH and said "But you're still here" with venom in her eyes...We have never forgiven or forgotten.

MistressDeeCee · 15/09/2017 01:00

"What the fuck's it got to to do with you if I have lots of female friends?"

This, despite fact I couldn't even look at another man, without him losing his temper. In fact even another man looking at me was 'my fault'. We once had a shit holiday in Paris as I wore a long dress and the top part was 'too low' - no cleavage on show, he wasnt worried about that it was the bit from my neck to above my cleavage.

I left him to his online & RL harem of women playing the pick me dance...& his best friend of several years (he had no male friends) who was in a LTR yet on the phone to my ex daily/every time her man was out at work

He was outraged when I left him, and the ongoing vindictiveness was terrible.

So glad I had the lightbulb moment and got rid

janaus · 15/09/2017 08:06

2 classics ...

"It's what men do" and. "Get over it"

PabloEscobarlo · 15/09/2017 08:19

I never loved you anyway she's twice the woman you'll ever be. My name is on the tenancy leave, take the mutt with you. Enjoy being council trash.

Just found out I was six months pregnant with his child. She was a good friend.
He sees dd every 4 months ror a few hours.
She left him eventually.
I met dp four years later, graduate as a nurse this year and just bought a house whilst planning a wedding.

I think I did great and I'm thankful for him saying that line everyday

MachineBee · 15/09/2017 08:21

Whilst it my friend who gave me my proper lightbulb moment, it was great to let slip to my ExH I was dating again after our divorce. When we were married he thought it was hilarious to tell me that a colleague had said he'd give me one but only if I had a paper bag over my face. Charming.

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