Has anyone got over domestic violence

[HopeontheHorizon]

My ex was violent towards me last night. Badly. I haven't reported it and I don't know why.

I haven't slept and still feel like I'm in shock. I'm at work today and it is especially hard. My kids were asleep when it happened. I told ex there is no way I will have him at my home now. I don't know whether I want to cry or not at the minute, my head is all over. I have reached the end of my tether and today I did something I have never done before. I messaged exes brother to tell him what he had done and could he ask ex to stay away from me or I will report him.

I am all over the place mentally and quite sore as well as tired. How do I get over this? I have children so am tied to him. He uses the garage to receive deliveries for work. The deliveries are huge and need to be kept safe. I have told him he can no longer use this garage, I want him to stay away. I even went as far to email his area manager today and tell him the ex can't use the garage anymore as I don't want him near me or my home and can they make alternative arrangements. Ex text me today to say if he can't take the deliveries for work he will hand his notice in and I won't receive any child maintenance from him.

I replied with Tough. It was only last night he hit me with his iPad and cut my arm, threatened to smack my bass guitar and its stand over my head, threw me on my bed and tried to choke me whilst pressing his hand into my nose.

Wtf do I do? I feel like something is keeping me from reporting it to the police like the kids. I have told his brother as no one knows this has been going on. We've been separated about a month now and I stupidly thought we could be friends, I made him dinner last night after work and everything and he's goes and physically hurts me cos he can't control his temper 😢 I have bruises and a cut which I've managed to cover for work. What the hell??

Please do report. You are looking at this the wrong way if you feel responsible for upsetting his mum or damaging his prospects. He's a bloody psychopath and has trained you, even as an ex to put up with it.

Call. The. Police. If they decide to take it further that's between them and him.

How are you doing?

I'm ok, still sore around my neck and back. I've caught the kids cold to top it off - probably from lack of sleep lately. My kids will be in bed soon. I am going to ring 101 and see what happens. Thanks for the ongoing support. May need a hand hold tonight I feel so nervous.

Hand hold available. Be brave

Sweetheart, he has caused this and if his parents find out about the Police being involved then that is 100% on HIM not you.

I really think you should at least fully consider taking an injunction out against him banning him from coming near you.

I got through it, with a lot of Mumsnet support. I reported, he was charged, I left and am a single parent. It's been really difficult at times and a real roller coaster. Not for one second do I regret it though, now I and my girls are safe. Will hand hold x

He's just turned up on my doorstep. He has a parcel and some stuff here. I don't want to let him in. I've only just got kids to bed.

Oh your poor thing. Sending lots of support and a handhold. Do call 101 they will help and support you through this.

Call the police. Call 999. Tell them he assaulted you and is now at the door.

I've told him to leave he said e will come back in ten minutes. I'm shaking now I don't want him here.

It's not a not a 101 situation. He strangled OP.

Sorry cross posted. Are you able to call police now?

And yes 999 not 101

Police officer here. 999. Now.

I want you to call the police too OP but if you really can't is there anyone you could ring to come and be with you while he's there? Please don't be in the house alone with him.

999 right now, please.

This is why you want to report immediately, btw, so that they will take a 999 call like this extremely seriously. Because men like that DO turn up.

PLEASE don't take that as a telling off! I don't mean it in that way AT ALL!! It's only meant as a logistical FYI, genuinely.

I'm tempted to gather his shit and lead it out on the street for when he returns. I don't want him in the house. He has no right to just turn up like that after what he's done

Why are you so hellbent on expecting him to confirm to expected behaviour, ie not turning up after what he's done. He'll do what he wants. He's above you. Your feelings are meaningless to him, he is the only one that matters. He will kill you if he so desires.

Harsh but true.

No, he doesn't but, as we already know, he doesn't think what he's done was wrong and that's why you need help to protect yourself and your DC. This will go on and on until you get the weight of the police behind you, he thinks he can do what he likes and you alone won't change his mind.

Please don't let him in. Please don't go outside. Please just call 999 and tell them the situation.

OP I hope you read all these responses soon and take the advice, as hard as it is.

There is no reason on earth that tonight he will behave differently to last night.

Please. Stay indoors. Call the police. Tell them what happened.

Your children could witness him losing his temper again. It could be more injuries than last night.

You're worth more than being petrified in your own home OP.

I really hope you make that call and keep yourself safe.

Thinking of you. Will check back soon.

You really need to call the police. Why would this time be any different to the last time?

Come on, 999. It IS an emergency

He's not been back yet. I'm on hold on 101 line

This is a 999 situation x

OP if you haven't actually spoken to someone put the phone down and call 999, he could be back any minute.