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Original poster

newish relation shop - mood swings

129 replies

cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:35

I'm dating a guy that I knew from years ago - friend of a friend. He can be totally lovely etc but can go into tempers where he literally will say the most horrible things.

The most recent being we had a night out and after going back to mine and having z few more drinks we crashed out. He left his phone downstairs and the alarm goes off this morning. I woke him to tell him and he is like another person. He told me I was selfish inconsidebate and needy. That just because I'm up etc that I don't need to talk. In facthe - so he tells me - I need company all the time he can't have a cigarette etc but I'm beside him. I honestly don't feel I've done anything wrong but more than once he as been awful to me. Shouting and nasty.

He has told me he won't be back to see me and if I want him to phone
I'm so so upset - he says he loves me and then.this 😢.

OP posts:
Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:36

Should read relationship - sorry

OP posts:
Chipotlechipotle · 07/09/2017 08:37

Run. If he's like this at the beginning of your relationship it's only going to get worse.

Bobbins43 · 07/09/2017 08:37

He doesn't love you. Not if he acts like this. You deserve someone who is nice to you all the time. Don't call him back.

Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:38

He is still here asleep - I feel awful

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2017 · 07/09/2017 08:39

Walk away. He sounds awful. You could be in for years of this whereas you'll be upset for a little while if you leave him now.
It won't change and he doesn't love you.

paq · 07/09/2017 08:39

He's an arsehole. Get him out of your house as quickly and as safely as possible and then never see him again.

It's not you, it's him.

Dawnedlightly · 07/09/2017 08:40

Run away

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 07/09/2017 08:40

He's a cunt.

TBH being woken up when you don't need to be up is annoying. I would be a bit grumpy about it, but the things he has said about you show that he has no respect let alone love for you.

He been putting on the mask of a caring boyfriend and now you've seen what he looks like underneath it you need to run.

As a one off, a cross word is normal. As a regular occurrence that is nasty and abusive it's not ok and you deserve better. Please don't stick with this arse wipe because "he's nice 90% of the time". 10% controlling abusive wanker is still too much. Xx

Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:42

I had no idea I was being needy though. I thought I was being affectionate and caring. I feel so sick at the minute. We had such a good night and he has been. Just so cruel to me the next day.

OP posts:
Stellato · 07/09/2017 08:43

Well he doesn't love you in a real way if he's behaving like that. Words are cheap, actions are what matter.

Protect yourself, no one else is going to.

Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:45

Apparently I ask the same question more than.once. talk when.I don't need to etc and if he was with anyone else he would have left! - he has been horrible before and ive asked him straight out if he wants to end things and he assures me no and now this! 😢 - we all have issues but I feel so anxious and suck now.

OP posts:
Smeaton · 07/09/2017 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:47

Sorry about typos I'm on my phone.

OP posts:
Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:48

Why am I crying? !! - ffs I'm a grown woman.!!! 😢

OP posts:
Smeaton · 07/09/2017 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuxuryWoman2017 · 07/09/2017 08:51

Look at it this way, it's a newish relationship with somebody you thought had potential. He has now given you warning of what he is really like - that doesn't happen on the first few dates, it takes a while for people to show their true colours which he now has.

Why not value yourself? If this is him so early on imagine in another year or two. He sounds horrible, you want to be with a horrible man? He has you doubting yourself, when he should be ashamed of himself for being such a twat.

You feel bad because of his bad behaviour? Come on, you know that's not right.

AdalindSchade · 07/09/2017 08:52

Look - he's not nice, he doesn't treat you well, he's cruel and nasty. When a man behaves like this, pay attention! He's showing yOu exactly what he's like. Kick him out, lick your wounds and get wiser before you start another relationship

Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:53

We had loads to drink so he can't drive yet - he effectively ended things anyway so no doubt the minute he can he will be gone. - I do not understand what happened or how it got to this? 😢

OP posts:
ChickenBhuna · 07/09/2017 08:58

Get him safely and calmly out of your home and please never see him again.

Abusive relationships never improve.

LuxuryWoman2017 · 07/09/2017 08:58

It got to this because he is an arsehole. All manner of friendships start out well and then sometimes people let you down or aren't who they seemed to be. It's sad and you can be upset then move on.
It's not you - it's him.

I will bet he is nice as pie to you this morning - don't be fooled. Relationships should enhance your life not leave you feeing confused and sad.

ChickenBhuna · 07/09/2017 08:58

Oh and remember this is not about who you are or what you've done. He is merely showing you who he is.

Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 08:58

Ok so what do I say when he wakes up?

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2017 · 07/09/2017 08:59

Ok so what do I say when he wakes up?

Goodbye?

Original poster
cocoface · 07/09/2017 09:01

He booked and paid for a weekend away in November for us both - romantic city break - do I offer him the money for my half?

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 07/09/2017 09:01

These red flags could not be any bigger. Please notice them. It will only get worse. There is nothing wrong with you, the issue lies with him. You deserve better. Once he's out the door no further contact!