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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend with benefits wants to 'f**k me forever'

148 replies

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 22:56

I'm so confused, we only have a sex only relationship, which has been on and off for almost two years now, but he says stuff like this a lot, also has said he loves having sex with me more than anything and he would do anything with me (sex related). We were having sex once and he was saying my name over and over and he told me he loved me but it's only sex?

OP posts:
SerendipityFelix · 06/09/2017 22:57

What's your question? People say all sorts when they're shagging. Do you want more that just sex?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/09/2017 22:59

Have you posted about this before? Sound really familiar.

It's what he says out of bed that counts.

category12 · 06/09/2017 22:59

Ask him. When not mid-shag.

PointlessUsername · 06/09/2017 23:01

People say all sorts when they're shagging

This^^

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:01

Sorry i meant to say he doesn't say this during sex, it's inbetween when we chat, he's also told me things he's not told anyone else and tells me he feels really comfortable with me.

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SoftKittySillyKitty · 06/09/2017 23:03

What is confusing you OP? Are you wanting more or do you think he is?

ChicRock · 06/09/2017 23:03

When he says he wants to fuck you forever, what he means is, when he's found someone to settle down and have kids with, he'd like to also continue fucking you on the side.

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:03

I have very strong feelings for him yeah, I can't stop myself seeing him or thinking about him.

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SoftKittySillyKitty · 06/09/2017 23:04

I think he's saying what he knows will keep you having sex with him OP.

becotide · 06/09/2017 23:05

You need to have a conversation about expectations with him. SOunds like he wants a girlfriend - do you want a boyfriend? You don't have to do what he wants, what do YOU want? And does he want you both to be exclusive or does he want you to be someone he calls for sex forever?

You need to work this out.

category12 · 06/09/2017 23:06

What do you say in return?

Has he made any moves to actually change anything - see you more, asked you to get more serious? If not, then maybe he's fond of you and really likes the sex, but doesn't want anything more. You'd have to ask him. .

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:06

I don't think I could have a proper relationship with him, I'm very insecure and jealous and he's younger than me so I would be a nervous anxious wreck.

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Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:09

No its been going on so long, he's only just started saying this stuff and also almost pestering to see me, I tell him how attractive i find him and how good he is, but would never say anything like the forever stuff.

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NYConcreteJungle · 06/09/2017 23:15

What's changed in your lives lately?

gamerchick · 06/09/2017 23:18

Look, a friends with benefits can work but when you reach the jealous level in any way it's time to knock it on the head.

What you do with that is up to you. You can either talk to him properly, suck it up or go no contact until you're not addicted to him anymore.

That's it.

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:25

Only thing that's different is that I've been more confident about myself and sex and told him things he didn't know, we had a break of a couple of months and I started seeing other people and enjoying myself more.

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Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:28

Yeah I am horribly jealous, I only have to see a pretty girl and I'm imagining him lusting after her, but I think that he likes that I'm older and have a son not much younger than him so maybe I'm just different to what he's used to.

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Offred · 06/09/2017 23:28

I think you should knock this on the head TBH. It all sounds too weird and messy for FWB and you sound confused.

I agree with softkitty and chicrock

SandyY2K · 06/09/2017 23:35

It's got heartbreak written all over it.

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:39

I wouldn't want a fwb though, I don't understand how people with no feelings for each other can sleep together again and again, I don't see the point. It's because we have feelings and we miss each other and need each other, thats what makes it so exciting.

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gamerchick · 06/09/2017 23:41

But it's making you miserable! What's exciting about that? Confused

Goodasgoldilox · 06/09/2017 23:42

Does 'friends with benefits' ever work for long?

As the poet says:
"...without permanent intentions
You have absolutely no protection
-If the act is clear, authentic, sumptuous
The concurring deep love of the heart
Follows the naked work, profoundly moved by it.'

Goodasgoldilox · 06/09/2017 23:43

Someone will always get hurt?

inlectorecumbit · 06/09/2017 23:44

You are in too deep OP. It does not sound like this is going to be a long term relationship and l think you are going to get hurt.

Knock it on the head soon. Flowers

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:46

I'm not miserable when I see him and when he messages me, just thinking about him makes me happy, Im sorry if I sound pathetic, I'm 39 and obsessed with a 27 year old Confused

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