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Original poster

Friend with benefits wants to 'f**k me forever'

148 replies

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 22:56

I'm so confused, we only have a sex only relationship, which has been on and off for almost two years now, but he says stuff like this a lot, also has said he loves having sex with me more than anything and he would do anything with me (sex related). We were having sex once and he was saying my name over and over and he told me he loved me but it's only sex?

OP posts:
Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:36

Haha no Liverpool, how is it similar?

OP posts:
Penguins333 · 07/09/2017 00:37

The things he says almost exactly, the pestering to meet - the mum / son fantasy requests! Although to be fair, im sure he is not the only one who says these things. Just sounded strikingly similar!

Penguins333 · 07/09/2017 00:37

Oh and the age - 27

GriefLeavesItsMark · 07/09/2017 00:41

Odd, very odd.

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:42

No I'm glad it's London though so theres no chance Grin

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Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:43

Im ignoring the judgey comments Smile

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WanderingTrolley1 · 07/09/2017 00:44

Not going to end well.

NYConcreteJungle · 07/09/2017 00:45

Well enjoy your relationship then OP, it sounds like you are just what he wants.

NYConcreteJungle · 07/09/2017 00:45

He just what you want.

Crowdo · 07/09/2017 00:46

You'll always get told to break up on MN. Don't listen.

I say you give the situation a bit more time to see how it develops. You sound like you really like him, is my impression.

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/09/2017 00:51

I would have a serious misgivings about a man who had mother/son fantasies and I am very open minded. Not so much the actual fantasy (although....) but more the fact that your age and his fantasy match up so perfectly that I wonder if is the fact that he can fulfil his fantasy with you that he finds so attractive rather than you as a person that he loves.

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 01:00

Oh i get what you mean, the previous poster, but we ve been seeing each other for so long and things have been said, the mother/son thing was only very recently, we had a night earlier this year where we both told each other how we felt, we were both drunk but, he even asked me to hold his face in both my hands while I told him I loved him.

OP posts:
toddlepip · 07/09/2017 01:02

Oh boy. He sounds like he has massive Mum issues.

If it's making you happy carry on, if it's not don't. Dimples.

toddlepip · 07/09/2017 01:03

Simples!

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/09/2017 01:03

It all seems a bit odd tbh.

Very intense on one hand and then you say FWB on the other.... he seems very needy which would be a huge turn off for me as men like that are such hard work.

I would tread carefully as you seem at great risk of being hurt one way or another.

NYConcreteJungle · 07/09/2017 01:58

It seems things got more intense for both of you, once you got the Mother/son thing going. How did you get together?

MistressDeeCee · 07/09/2017 02:48

Thats a lot of thought to put into a FWB situation. I don't judge as have been in 2 before. I enjoyed the fun and excitement but didn't think of them daily or muse or wonder about future. It was just a nice side addition whilst I was getting on with life in other ways.
I stopped when I met someone I wanted to be in a relationship with, and that developed. OH had a FWB when I met him too..he dropped her and I dropped my guy.

FWB - it is what it is. Its exciting, illicit, people say all sorts of what ifs or maybes, in my case particularly with one we went out and socialised a lot together etc and we talked a lot about life, day to day stuff etc. Still didn't mean that would necessarily make us more than FWB tho. We just got on very well

FWB with one wanting more than the other and/or the other person hoping waiting and wondering is a lot of potential for hurt. You may as well wait it out but also accept possibility that he doesn't want what you want and it may not end well

If a man wants you as a lifepartner, you know it - no messing. You won't have to wonder. Thats the difference. All the I don't know what I want stuff is a smokescreen -they do know what they want, its just not you..so you are either a FWB, or a placeholder. Which is fine, if you're cool with that.

You fit his mummy/son fantasy, I wouldn't find that sexually appealing but different folks different strokes n all that. Its holding you together. Try to enjoy the moment if thats your bag instead of trying to look into a future with him that he hasn't really offered you

Desmondo2016 · 07/09/2017 06:49

Hmm sounds like you both have this mother fetish thing going on. Why don't you get some nappies and bottles in and really spice things up. I can't understand for the life of me why your ds would have an issue with this.

ConfusedHmm

LesisMiserable · 07/09/2017 07:47

Sounds like he is role playing love with you but you're taking it seriously. I think you're what they call "the girlfriend experience" to him.

Iamthinking · 07/09/2017 07:52

I don't think you should necessarily knock it on the head, I think FWB is brilliant when it works (obviously, you have to really look inside yourself and decide whether you would say this is working).

I think what might be best is that you would be to a. work on your jealously/insecurity issues and b. meet other men.

It seems a shame that you can only have a lasting relationship with someone that you don't have great attraction to, in order to not experience insecurity.

0ccamsRazor · 07/09/2017 08:29

Op what you and he do is completely up to you, two consenting adults.

I would suggest that you have counselling for your issues around self-esteem and jealousy. You have stuff to work through before you think of having a meaningful relationship with anyone. Your gp should be able to refer you.

This will help you to feel more secure in yourself, give you understanding with regards to your jealousy and there for the tools to change that. It will help you to work through things in a safe and containing space.

What ever you decide Op, I wish you luck and happiness.

SandyY2K · 07/09/2017 08:51

As long as you are both enjoying it, then carry on. You do need to be prepared for when he meets someone else who he may want to settle down with though.

I've seen these scenarios where the FWB becomes the OW (even when he gets married), because the guy is so hooked on the sex. I think that's what he means about fu**king you forever.

BitchQueen90 · 07/09/2017 09:11

This is not just a fwb situation. OP I have a fwb and we are not emotionally attached, I enjoy seeing him and we have fun but I don't miss him when he's not there and there's certainly no talking about love. We are not jealous with each other either. We don't talk to our families about each other, that's relationship territory.

It really does sound like he has mum issues. If you feel like you can't be in a relationship with him then I'd end it before it gets ugly.

Huskylover1 · 07/09/2017 09:38

Hang on?

You have a son that is close in age, to your FWB, and you actually enjoy mother/son sex role play? So, you enjoy pretending that your FWB is your son? That is completely fucked up. I really hope you haven't shared this information with your son.

Anyway, regards your FWB saying he wants to fuck you forever......of course he does...he gets to shag someone, without having to do any relationship stuff whatsoever. Doesn't have to be faithful. Doesn't have to look after you if you are poorly. Doesn't have to take you to dinner. Doesn't have to provide any emotional support. Doesn't have to do ANYTHING that a Partner would do. And he still gets all the Sexy Sex.

My advice would be to stop it now. Get an STD check. Start dating men your own age, who actually value you as a whole person, who think you are so fabulous, that they want a real relationship with you, which is loving and monogamous. Let your "friend" get his rocks off elsewhere.

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 09:45

He's not a fwb really, i just didn't know how else to describe it, we're not friends at all, it's just sex but it's amazing.

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