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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Friend with benefits wants to 'f**k me forever'

148 replies

Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 22:56

I'm so confused, we only have a sex only relationship, which has been on and off for almost two years now, but he says stuff like this a lot, also has said he loves having sex with me more than anything and he would do anything with me (sex related). We were having sex once and he was saying my name over and over and he told me he loved me but it's only sex?

OP posts:
NYConcreteJungle · 06/09/2017 23:47

That's not much of an age gap. I thought you were sixty and he mid twenties.

ThatsNotAKnifeThatsASpoon · 06/09/2017 23:47

What's the age gap here, OP, if you don't mind saying?

Original poster
Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:50

Sixty erm no, my oldest sons 21. He's a lads lad though and I don't think he d want to be seen with an older woman who's not skinny and fit.

OP posts:
ThatsNotAKnifeThatsASpoon · 06/09/2017 23:50

Cross post, sorry. How do you think your son would feel about the relationship if he knew?

ReanimatedSGB · 06/09/2017 23:51

Have a think about what you really want from him for the near future. Then talk to him about it. He may well say this is what he wants, too - and it may be what he wants. Or he may just agree with you so that things carry on as they are. If he starts getting tiresome, bin.

The main thing to remember is that there are no guarantees in relationships, no matter what anyone says. People change. Their preferences change. One of you could get ill, fall madly in love with someone else - or get offered a dream job in another country. it's always best to enjoy a dating set up for what it is.

(Obviously it becomes a different matter when/if people decide to buy a house together, or have a child - but even then. there are not really any guarantees.)

NYConcreteJungle · 06/09/2017 23:52

You were a young Mum and are probably on the same wavelength due to your child.

Many people only have their first baby at your age. You're not that old OP.

Original poster
Diditmyway · 06/09/2017 23:52

He knows, they've met and know some of the same people, my sons not happy about it tbh.

OP posts:
NikiBarbie · 06/09/2017 23:54

Mine a few years ago said we had all the time in the world to be together. Then dumped me saying he met someone

NYConcreteJungle · 06/09/2017 23:54

Your son is probably jealous. Your lover may have that condition the French president has, Opidious?

PyongyangKipperbang · 06/09/2017 23:58

Well re age gap... Cathy McGowan is 20 years older than Michael Ball and they have been together for years and years. That said, your situation doesnt sound like it will end well and neither will any relationship with anyone else until you get some help for your jealousy and insecurity. You will drive him away, and thats before the problem with your son.

Walk away and get some counselling to sort out your issues before you try to embark on anything.

ThatsNotAKnifeThatsASpoon · 07/09/2017 00:00

You don't sound in a great place to be embarking on a proper relationship with him with your jealousy issues and your son not being happy. Perhaps some time on your own would help?

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:04

To be honest I've never been in a serious relationship with someone I'm really attracted to, Im too insecure and feel too uncomfortable. I just think I should try and meet someone my own age or older who I get on with well and we can have have something nice but there won't be the excitement I get from this man.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:08

We ve talked about mother and son role play, we ve talked about loads of things we ve not told anyone else.

OP posts:
NYConcreteJungle · 07/09/2017 00:10

Oh he may stick around then if he has a Mummy thing going on.

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:14

He's a big tough lad though, not some wimpy mummys boy but theres also something about him, like a vulnerable side, I don't know.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/09/2017 00:15

Mother and son role play ?

Ugh. You got yourself a keeper there.

NYConcreteJungle · 07/09/2017 00:17

The French president seems tough too Wink

NewBrian · 07/09/2017 00:20

Mother and son role play Hmm

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:21

Not my idea of tough, I meant rough anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:21

Not my idea of tough, I meant rough anyway.

OP posts:
CleopatraCatLover · 07/09/2017 00:23

Mother and son role play wtf!

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:29

Erm im sorry if it sounds sick, obviously if he was my son i would have no interest in him Confused. It's just fun and something different than the same old stuff and boring sex I've had to put up with in the past.

OP posts:
SoftKittySillyKitty · 07/09/2017 00:29

Woah, steady OP. How do YOU feel about the Mum and son role play? It sounds creepy. I'm wondering whether your anxiety about this relationship is because you're not really comfortable with it.

Original poster
Diditmyway · 07/09/2017 00:31

No not at all, I love it if I'm honest, and nothing he could do or say would ever give me the creeps, he's the least creepiest person ever.

OP posts:
Penguins333 · 07/09/2017 00:34

@diditmyway OP this sounds scarily similar to a guy my friend is also seeing ... do you live in London?!

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