Hotel booking on DP's online banking

[Emboo19]

Just been onto the online banking to transfer some money from DP's account to our joint one (he knows I'm doing this). He's the one who signed up to the online banking but he gave me log in details and I can see the joint account and his own account, my own account is with a different bank. (Sorry going on a bit, just want to explain how I've seen what I've see).

Anyway, usually he just transfers any money I need from his mobile, but he's busy and said for me to log on and do it, I'm going holiday shopping today and needed some extra. Then this part I'm not proud of.....it's my birthday soon and I had a sneaky look at his recent transactions, to try see what he's bought me (I know that's really, really bad!)
I noticed last week there's a payment to a hotel, which is the same hotel he's staying in at the moment, he's working away. His hotel is paid for by his work, but they share so two men to a room. The charge is the same as a double room for one night at that hotel.

Is there any possible explanation (other than the obvious) that he'd have for booking his own room for a night? I really can't think of one right now, but then I'm struggling to think of anything other than killing him right now!
And how do I speak to him about it? Wait until he's home Friday or ask over the phone?

Ask him!

I am a suspicious bugger but I can see a few innocent reasons for this

It might be a bar bill or a meal for the guys and they gave him their share in cash. You can't normally see from a bank statement if it's a charge for a room or something else.

I collect points on my credit card so often pay the whole bill and get cash from the others.

Just ask. Say you noticed the charge when transferring money and wanted to remind him to do his expense claim. No accusation implied in that. It actually sounds innocent to me.

OP, I would investigate a bit when he arrives back home. Don't confront him yet. He may deny everything without a blink of his eye.

Aren't you the OP who had a random woman claim she slept with your DP in his flat while you were living separately?

Could be a few innocent explanations:
He has had enough of sharing and wants personal space
Foremans card maxed and he asked if he could charge a room and claim back
Room service or minibar costs
Prepayment for use of minibar
Bar or restaurant bill

I wouldn't fret just wait till he comes back, ask him why he paid when he doesn't usually want to, and remind him to put an expense in for the hotel stay.

Sorry I'm out at the moment, so will read replies properly when I'm back.
I don't know it's definitely a room charge, but it seemed too much for a meal etc, so I looked and it's the exact price of a double room for a night mid week. They don't pay for meals together as they need to put their own receipts in, I know because he's moaned about that. And he hasn't been eating and drinking at the hotel anyway, well that's what he's told me.
I can't see how it's a work charge, it's never happened before and I can't see how or why it would be him.

It could be for someone else and I'm hoping that's what it is, although that's horrible of me as it would have to be someone married or in a serious relationship. But how do I know if that's it or he's just lying.

I can't imagine if the comely books a block of rooms at this hotel on a repeat basis and it's tight enough to make employees share rooms that they would be paying a rack rate off the internet for a room. Also, where is the hotel? There's city tax/surcharges of all type added to an advertised rate in some countries.

Company

Yes it's dodgy. Ask him face to face it will be easier to tell if he's telling the truth or not. Don't let on you suspect anything before then as it gives him time to come up with an excuse.

Word of warning, a similar thread (possible cheating husband away on business) has been posted in the scum online today lifted straight from here.

For fuck's sake

How do you know if he's lying? Well, I suppose all you can do is give him no clue there's something on your mind so he has to give you an unprepared answer. How would you expect him to look and behave if there is a totally non-sinister reason for this? When I thought I'd caught someone with their pants down (cheating on friend rather than me) they got uncharacteristically angry about my being judgey and suspicious and thinking the worst of people and point blank denied everything. Turns out I was right, sadly.

And if he starts getting cross about looking in his personal account, just calmly close that conversation down and say you will discuss that when the hotel charge is properly explained - so you wanted to look for clues for what you might be getting for your birthday... hardly crime of the century and not like going through someone's personal emails without their permission.

PS get to fuck daily fail.

And still saying there could very well be totally non-sinister reasons for this so please try not to torment yourself too much until you talk to him face-to-face!

At my husbands company they regularly work away, staying in hotels. He had to sort a situation out recently where the company had booked a room for a lady and paid in full as usual. She had been asked for her credit card number on arrival in case of any charges, food, drink etc. This is not unusual. Later she discovered that the hotel had randomly charged her for the room...my DH had a nightmare getting the hotel to understand that they shouldn't have done that, they'd already been paid etc.

It could be that...I couldn't immediately jump to the idea that he was sleeping with someone else.

I'm thinking he paid for this room and cannot be arsed to mention the snoring mate, he just solved the problem.

The OP has explained how it works for her DH and his colleagues and how the foreman would be the one to hand over credit card if needed if there was a problem. She's not being crazy to struggle to think of alternative reasons as to why the charge went on her DH's personal account and, if it was an innocent reason, why her DH has not had a moan about it to her already given her DH's work set up. There very well could be an entirely innocent explanation. But the OP understands that set up here and that is why the charge on the personal account has raised a little flag for her that she needs to check out.

This doesn't sound suspicious to me; am sure there is an explanation. Why would he go to a hotel he's stayed at with workmates with OW? He'd go somewhere where nobody would know him.

Teaches you not to snoop then.... more than likely an extra night needed at conference / other company business / client visit. It's happened to me before, having to book a room and then claim back via expenses if approved by Payroll / Accounts of the company and cleared by a Line Manager. OP, would you have preferred he slept the extra night in the car?!

Why would he go to a hotel he's stayed at with workmates with OW? He'd go somewhere where nobody would know him

Oh please read the OP's posts on this subject!!

Teaches you not to snoop then....

does it?

mirialis

Because like others have explained they've been charged when they shouldn't have even when staying on business. Maybe he hasn't realised yet, hence the reason he hasn't said anything.

I have already said a number of times I think this could very well be an innocent thing. All I'm saying is the OP understands the set up and that it in previous situations it would have been very unusual for him to hand over his personal credit card as a personal safety deposit etc. And I'm saying, as someone who's worked in a hotel and had people staying in this situation, she's not being mad/crazy to notice a little flag and to ask him about it face-to-face.

Sorry, but really don't agree that this teaches you not to have a snoop and get some clues on what you might be getting for your birthday. I personally don't care about birthday presents and genuinely tell people not to bother (including my DH) but I know most people like the tradition and get excited about it. My feeling also is that financial accounts should be an open book to both partners in a marriage, even the ones set aside for individual personal spend. I think that is different from digging around someone's personal emails, which I would not do to DH and would be pissed off if he did to me (and I really do have nothing to hide).

Thanks for the heads up BackieJerhart do they show the user name if they print it in the fail or likewise?

That's exactly it mirialis I understand it may be usual for others, but it's not for his work. Without giving even more away....it's not a suits and business meetings role, he doesn't get expences as such, just meal allowance and to get that they need receipts for food, but still only get a set amount back.

If he booked another room because of snoring he'd be paying for it himself, he wouldn't be able to claim it back. At more than £100 pound I really don't see him doing that, he'd rather go sleep in the van.

The whole point of working away is to earn more money not spend it on a hotel room he'd be just sleeping in.

I'm not sure if I'm best just asking him tonight, he's due to FaceTime to say goodnight to DD soon. I've felt horrible all day and couldn't enjoy my shopping trip, my heads pounding and I don't think I can wait until Friday.

Oh and I know snooping bad! But if mentioned some trainers and he was asking about them and I thought he might have got them, but was planning on getting them today. I thought if I saw a purchase at said shoe shop I'd message him before I bought them.
And I'll admit I'm absolutely terrible at waiting.