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Original poster

Hotel booking on DP's online banking

402 replies

Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:12

Just been onto the online banking to transfer some money from DP's account to our joint one (he knows I'm doing this). He's the one who signed up to the online banking but he gave me log in details and I can see the joint account and his own account, my own account is with a different bank. (Sorry going on a bit, just want to explain how I've seen what I've see).

Anyway, usually he just transfers any money I need from his mobile, but he's busy and said for me to log on and do it, I'm going holiday shopping today and needed some extra. Then this part I'm not proud of.....it's my birthday soon and I had a sneaky look at his recent transactions, to try see what he's bought me (I know that's really, really bad!)
I noticed last week there's a payment to a hotel, which is the same hotel he's staying in at the moment, he's working away. His hotel is paid for by his work, but they share so two men to a room. The charge is the same as a double room for one night at that hotel.

Is there any possible explanation (other than the obvious) that he'd have for booking his own room for a night? I really can't think of one right now, but then I'm struggling to think of anything other than killing him right now!
And how do I speak to him about it? Wait until he's home Friday or ask over the phone?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 30/08/2017 08:54

This wouldn't raise any suspicions for me. I'd suspect some kind of fuck up between hotel or work

Me too. You seem very certain it's another woman though-why is that? Has he given you cause not to trust him?

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:56

Because I know him and in 4 years I've never known him pay for his own hotel when staying away. Despite one time him constantly moaning about the other guy snoring and me suggesting it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:58

But no reason to not trust him no. But I do know it goes on a lot with his colleagues, kind of out of sight/out of mind mentality.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 30/08/2017 08:58

I think you're rushing to conclusions here OP. Why don't you just ask him? If he was trying to hide something I doubt he'd use an account you have access too

PiratePanda · 30/08/2017 09:00

Sorry but I think you're really overthinking this. I'd let this one go.

Ingles2 · 30/08/2017 09:00

Why on earth don't you ask him?? Confused it's probably a hotel fuck up.. they've taken his details to cover bar bill / expenses and have charged the room to his card! Tell him before he leaves so he can sort it!

thirtyplusone · 30/08/2017 09:01

From what you've said I'd put money on it being a deposit holding, especially for that many nights. That will always be a personal payment for extras and damages. I wouldn't think any further into it OP :)

STRONGandSTABLE · 30/08/2017 09:02

Phone the hotel, ask for him and tell him you've lost your mobile (so hide it from yourself for a couple of days) and you needed to get in touch with him as you miss him ..... Have a chat, ask to speak to his room mate (if you know him well enough) - I'm sure you can think of an excuse as to why you want to chat to him. Just see how your DH behaves.

JustMumNowNotMe · 30/08/2017 09:04

It is likely innocent but I'm a suspicious cow so if it were me I wouldn't say anything until I'd had chance to see if he does get it refunded and if anything else dodgy comes to light.

SalamiSandwich · 30/08/2017 09:05

I would ask him, but do it face to face.

AnarchyKitty · 30/08/2017 09:05

Despite one time him constantly moaning about the other guy snoring and me suggesting it.

Well there you go. It's probably he wanted a decent night's sleep.

pigeondujour · 30/08/2017 09:07

I normally think 'just ask him' is terrible advice but I'd say it applies here. I really wouldn't assume cheating just from that.

FloweryTeapot · 30/08/2017 09:10

Why on earth don't you ask him?? confused it's probably a hotel fuck up.. they've taken his details to cover bar bill / expenses and have charged the room to his card

This happened to me. I didn't recognise a hotel transaction on my account although I had just stayed at said hotel. So I rang the bank, and at the time of the transaction I know for sure I was in the hairdressers having my hair done (it was the next day and I'd returned home). Human error at the hotel. Somebody had left without paying and the receptionist misread the room number so charged it to my card by mistake.

These things do happen.

Trollspoopglitter · 30/08/2017 09:10

Look at his previous statements and going away. Has there been a similar charge followed by a refund? It is unusual to take an amount on the card for a hotel, but then I'm struggling with the idea my work would force me to share a hotel room with a colleague (no fucking way, thank you).

MyOtherProfile · 30/08/2017 09:11

Definitely ask.
Do you think it means a separate room on a night he is already booked in there or an extra night (which you would spot)?
Maybe his room mate brought someone back and he went and got his own room? clutching at straws

Crumbs1 · 30/08/2017 09:13

Why on earth would you not ask? Why would you assume the worse given he's made no attempt to hide his account?
If I had to share with a work colleague, I'd pay for another room too.

Veronicat · 30/08/2017 09:16

AnarchyKitty

Despite one time him constantly moaning about the other guy snoring and me suggesting it.

Well there you go. It's probably he wanted a decent night's sleep.

THIS^^

Miserylovescompany2 · 30/08/2017 09:17

It could be the room mate playing away - and asked your Dp to put it on his card and given him cash to cover his own ass?

Just ask.

NoSquirrels · 30/08/2017 09:18

Ask him face to face. Weird he didn't mention it if it is as simple as someone snoring. If he'd usually never pay extra for anything then it's strange he wouldn't say something in passing if he'd felt forced into spending his own cash.

Ask him. If it seems odd to you then don't ignore it.

mirialis · 30/08/2017 09:22

OP - I get what you're saying about the nature of his work and the set up while they are away and why it's raised a little flag for you. I would say just ask him when he's back on Friday, when he is standing in front of you. You are feeling a little guilty about snooping in his personal account. Don't let that be an issue, don't be sheepish about it, just say it matter of factly.

Unless he has specifically told you not to do that, then that is besides the point. (I have the same set up as you with our banking and the first time I looked at DH's personal account he was a bit miffed but really he was trying to deflect from the bollocking I was giving him for lazily letting the account run really overdrawn and paying ridiculous overdraft fees when we had plenty sitting in our joint accounts he could have transferred over - I gave him my personal account log in details and said he was welcome to check my account anytime).

It's probably nothing but I do get where you're coming from and think you should judge from his reaction if this is a simple "I couldn't stand the snoring" or something to get flustered about.

Redglitter · 30/08/2017 09:22

So he's possibly paid for this room for him and another woman in a hotel where 10 of his colleagues are staying and he's paid for it from an account he's happy for you to have access to? I think you're over thinking

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 09:24

The snoring issue was another time Anarchy and I suggested his own room, he said he wouldn't spend his own money and just complained that he wouldn't share with that guy again. He's a bit tight with stuff like that.
This time he's sharing with a friend who's wedding we're going to soon, so good friend. He hasn't mentioned him snoring and that's usually the type of thing he'd mention.

No he's never paid any money out before, and he's worked away a lot. No other charges to this hotel and he's been staying there a few months now. I just think if he'd had to pay for some reason he'd have moaned about it to me and he'd be on at work to get it back.

OP posts:
BR62Y · 30/08/2017 09:25

Exactly Red. Unless he is thick he wouldn't be doing that

Original poster
Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 09:28

Regarding access to his account, I don't need to view his transactions to swap month other and I don't think he'd imagine I would (usually wouldn't). He has no other cards/accounts though either.

He was supposed to put the money in last night and forgot, phone this morning and he tried to do it via his mobile banking but internet was rubbish so he said for me to do it, he didn't have much choice as I needs it today.

OP posts:
mirialis · 30/08/2017 09:28

Unless he is thick he wouldn't be doing that

It's really likely there's nothing sinister doing on, but people make very stupid mistakes (i.e. texting wife with message intended for OW, forgetting to throw out incriminating receipts etc.) all the time.