Nearly - that's EXACTLY it. And my exP would have done those things at work, had he been asked too.
I think women are conditioned into thinking that, if men aren't listening, it must be because they're not communicating well enough. It took me bloody years to realise that whatever communication strategy I deployed I never got through. And also to recognise that he was the only adult who couldn't understand and react to what I was saying.
I think part of that is our lack of confidence, and part of it is that we sometimes don't want to see what is staring us in the face (I didn't, anyway). There is an act of selection, a choice that is being made in these cases. Lack of familiarity with domestic chores stops being an excuse after someone is given opportunity after opportunity to 'notice' what needs doing (or is even told exactly what to do) and refuses to take it. At the end of the day, that person is making a decision to allow someone else to take on the work that makes their lives liveable in order that they have more 'me' time. And that's really the definition of selfishness and abnegation of responsibility.
Ironically, some of the guys who do this are new men, who claim to be 'feminists'. My exP was like this. He'd spend hours arguing with someone about the gender politics of a film on the internet, while I washed up his dishes. Which made it all the more infuriating.
I think it really, really helps to see that waged work and social reproduction are mutually necessary. You can't hold down a waged job without some work of social reproduction - including maintaining a house where we can rest- and most of us can't afford to pay someone else to do all of it for us. Domestic labour is therefore necessary to capitalism, but unpaid by it - and the fair thing to do in the household is to recognise it as part of waged work. A SAHM who is enabling a man to have a lovely home life with children is entitled to a goodly part of the household wage (it is not 'his'), because he simply wouldn't be able to do his job without someone cooking, cleaning, washing, drying, and looking after his children; and in the majority of cases, he couldn't afford to pay someone even at minimum wage to do all that stuff! In the OP's case, she might be working slightly fewer waged hours than her partner, but she's doing a hell of a lot to enable him to earn his money (while he moans about sweet potatoes), and I'll warrant she's actually working longer hours than he does when this is taken into consideration!
Hope you are alright, OP.