tower - your plan is great. I think, for your own mental and emotional wellbeing, you need to sit down and have that calm chat with him. However, I think that is almost as much for you as for him. You need to know that you have explained as clearly and simply as possible what the problems are, as you see them.
Some relationships can change. Some men can listen and be unselfish. However, as I've explained on this thread, I come from a place of trying for years and years in every conceivable way, to reach an exP on these issues. Like your fella, he was fun and emotionally demonstrative. But when it came to housework he was truly, truly selfish. I tried literally everything to get him to listen - from rational talks, to begging, to pleading, to yelling and screaming, to asking to see a counsellor (he flat out refused). He would huff off and do the job for 2 minutes, and then we'd go back to a normal where he had to be cajoled into lifting a finger.
Every time there was a job to be done, I'd have to manage his emotional reaction to being asked. I'd find treats that he could have afterwards, I'd wheedle, I'd beg. It was like a constant emotional drain, trying to find creative ways of avoiding a row over the smallest thing.
In the end, I ended up in a place where all of the love I'd had for him was just exhausted. And I do mean exhausted - it was like it was burnt out of me by having to repeat the same thing over and over.
When I left he was absolutely devastated. Really upset. And couldn't understand it. He asked me over and over again why I'd ended things - and every time I told him the truth: primarily, the housework. He still refused to believe that this was the reason it was over, and instead invented a whole series of imaginary mental health problems from which I was supposedly suffering to 'explain' it. (I was depressed. Over the housework). I think it was only at that point that I realised that, for whatever reason, he simply couldn't hear me on this issue. Something in him, something really entitled and dismissive, just refused to acknowledge his responsibilities and duties towards others in a household. Writing long, bad reviews of movies, playing the guitar incredibly badly, watching TV were always going to come not just first but second and third as well. And it honestly didn't matter to him that this meant that someone else was washing his pants and cleaning his shit off the loo. He just felt that he was owed that by the universe. He claimed that it was only me who 'wanted' the house nice, that he just didn't care, and therefore it was my bad if I wanted a clean loo. Yet he wouldn't have kept his job, or been able to function, without someone doing those tasks for him.
When I left, I was emotionally all over the place. I was hurt, terrified, I doubted myself no end. But as the weeks went by, I started to feel relief. Life was SO much easier without having to cajole someone into doing their fair share of work. There wasn't an atmosphere of conflict and frustration constantly hovering over me. I didn't feel exhausted looking after two people instead of one.
Then I met my DH - who is brilliant at housework!! He works longer hours, in a far more responsible job, than my exP, and if I ask him to do anything around the house, it's done instantly and without fuss. He notices when we're low on loo roll, and goes to the supermarket and picks stuff up. He notices when the floor needs hoovering, and does it without asking. Sometimes it's me telling him that, at 10pm at night, he really should try to sit down and relax rather than mending the lamp. I cannot tell you how much more mental and physical energy I have for everything. I haven't been depressed for years. Men like this DO exist.
How do men end up like my exP? Partly misogynistic entitlement that is in our culture. Partly mothers. If you listen to the tones in which sons are sometimes talked about by some mothers on here, you hear this odd note - protective and spoiling - and, when they get a bit older, even competitive with other women in his life. Clearly, some parents are raising these boys in such a way that they never lift a finger around the house. It's not healthy and I am not sure it leaves these sons as resilient, independent men who can take care of themselves or as decent human beings who can acknowledge the claims on others.
This is just a very, very long-winded way of saying: please, please be careful before you chain your future to this man. You may feel like you're up against the biological clock right now, but honestly, the burden of work that you would be carrying in caring for a child as well as a needy partner is fearsome. Please think carefully.