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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH has just told me he's not sure he wants to stay married to me!

388 replies

shockedandsad · 01/04/2007 17:04

Sorry, have changed name here for the usual reasons.

Have had a tough couple of months at home for one reason or another. This afternoon dh has just told me that he's not sure he wants to stay married to me anymore. He can't give me much more information than that, he just feels like the two of us don't get on like we used to (he cites since dd was born) and he feels we might be better apart.

Although we have had a difficult time, I really haven't felt it's more than that, and that we'd get over it. He has scoffed at this. He says he doesn't know yet whether he wants to give us another try or not. Our sex life has not been good since dd was born, and now we are in a position to right this, he doesn't know if he wants to. He says he doesn't have any answers.

I am shocked, and sad, and don't know what to do. Also having bursts of great anger towards him. Now I'm meant to just sit back and wait for him to decide whether he will grace with the honour of giving it a go. If he doesn't want to, I don't know what I'll do. I love him and want to stay with him. We do have our ups and downs, like anyone, I thought, and I am so shocked that he feels this way. Can't stop crying and poor dd (3)is very concerned. Anyone been in this position?

OP posts:
lilybubble · 05/04/2007 22:03

Peachy, thanks for yet another great post. I so, so hope that some good comes out of his talk with his friend tonight. I also think being back at work will really help to straighten him out. I don't want to be too optimistic really after everything else this week seeming good then having it all shot down in flames yesterday. At the moment I do think I want it to work. Let's see what he has to say on Saturday, but him being out tonight and then all of tomorrow is hardly really going to make things easier to deal with. No telling him that though I suppose.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 05/04/2007 22:24

No I wouldnt mention that- you need to hold back anything that he might use as emotional leverage. Who knows whats going through his head- but it could be that he is feeling as if he is a weak Man and enjoying the power, or that he feels your needs are too much whilst he is having a time of it. Whichever, I would definitely not give him anything to fuel that. Friendly, but not needy.

The drugs make me wary- athough I confess myself to have led a life strangely clear of them so I'm a little more wary than average anyway- but he does spund as if he migt be depressed, if thats the case though, he'd need to seek help himself. Likewise the drinking. If you think the drinking really is an issue, it might be worth chatting through with al-anon (support group for the famillies of drinkers), because there could be some link to this- especially if Sarah is a drinker / hangs out at the pub herself.

I really do admire you. You seem much stronger than I would be in your shoes- I'd be (for all my advice LOL) begging him to come back, or alternatively throwing alrge items vaguely in his direction.

Greyclay · 05/04/2007 22:29

Lilybubble - I went through something similar five years ago with my then husband of two years (we had been together for 10) We were each approaching 30yrs of age and one day he told me he didn't love me anymore and wanted to leave. He later told me that he had hoped that telling me that would make me kick him out. I told him that if he wanted to leave, then he would have to do it using his own two feet. What followed was two weeks of hell. He stayed out until all hours, was emotionally evasive, withdrawn and angry, blaming me for his unhappiness and I never knew if I would be coming home to an empty house. (essentially tactics forcing my hand because he was too cowardly to make the decision himself) I felt like I was under constant seige...afraid that anything I said or did would "tip the scales" and he would be off. It got so bad that I couldn't take it anymore and asked him to leave. He moved in with a male friend of his and never looked back.

As hard as it is, you have to start thinking about what YOU want...out of life, from a man, and for your daughter. He cannot have all of the power in this situation. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel the way you are feeling now? I imagine you feel pretty anxious, sad and unsafe (emotionally speaking). The point is, (and take this advice broadly as I obviously don't know you or the precise details of what's going on), his behaviour and his unhappiness is because of HIM not you. Pay attention to his actions, not his words...his words say one thing, his actions are saying another. The sad thing is, if when you meet with him, he continues to assert his negative and quite frankly, adolescent behaviour then you should let him go. Don't be afraid of that...you have people who genuinely love and support you. If anything, he should be afraid...when he turns around later on, realizes he's still unhappy and has no one to point fingers at - then its too late.

gtimama has some very sage and real advice (as do the other women on this thread). There is life after a failed marriage and it can be a better one. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and makes you feel that way every day. I have since remarried after a long and painful learning process and I am hugely thankful that things turned out as they have. I am happy and life is good. I despair to think of what my life would have been like if I had stayed in such a toxic situation. Anyways, all of this is hindsight of course and I hope my story helps you in some way. I do hope your husband sees the light and I know you you will be ok whatever happens. Best of luck.

Clayhead · 06/04/2007 07:33

lilybubble, I have nothing to add to the wise words already on this thread but I wanted to add my support.

You come across as so kind, thoughtful and dignified in such a sad situation.

Good luck x

hurtwife · 06/04/2007 07:37

Greyclay - i think you nmay have it there. He may not want to be the one to actually make the move. Why are men so weak? At the moment though he has not had to realise what it is to lose you.

You really do need to focus on what you want - and it is not this is it? It can still work out for you but he has to be 2 way.

like i said before it was only when my h knew i was able to go it alone and had started to in fact that he came begging back. It was almost too late and it was then me that had to do the thinking.

I say hang on in there if you think you still want him and let him make the decision not you but KNOW that if he goes you WILL be ok. He will then have the guilt too and you will know you did everything you could to make it work - and so will he.

Again that is what i did - it took about 2 months of tourture before he had the balls to finally say thats it (there had been a bit of coming and going during that time). I was devestated when he finally said it but at least i knew where i was then and i knew it could get no worse. It was only about a week before he 'thought' he had made the biggest mistake of his life - (which i and all his friends knew anyway!!!) Then it was about 2 weeks of him promising me anything. That was hard because i then had the power - i did give it another go and so far things are fine. Everyday he thanks me and says he cant believe how stupid he was ect. ect.

It will not be easy either way but you will be fine.

Tanee58 · 06/04/2007 09:14

Lily,

I can't add anything to what everyone else has said - they're so wise! It seems sensible not to have dd with you on Saturday - he can have some time alone with her later & you really need to be able to focus on each other just now. Be strong, concentrate on what YOU want and need & don't let him fix all the blame on you (men are SUCH emotional cowards !)

Are you going on that shopping trip with Sarah ?????

mylittlestar · 06/04/2007 18:10

hi lily

I hope you're ok today?

not much more to add to the great advice here but just remember, trust your instincts. whatever happens. you'll know deep down the right thing to do and you should get a sense of how things are pretty quickly once you meet up with him.

i really hope he comes to his senses quickly. remember that you've done nothing wrong! you're not to blame for his unhappiness, but he is definitely to blame for yours at this time!

and your parents sound great so keep making the most of their support (and the support on here!).

i'll try to keep up this weekend so let us know how you are xx

lilybubble · 06/04/2007 23:15

Sorry not been around, just a manic day today.

Greyclay, thanks for that. That's a really good point that he might be trying to make me do the deed. Really glad that you are so happy now, I'm so pleased for you.

tanee - yes, emotional coward is exactly what so many men seem to be. what's that all about!?!

hurtwife, our husbands do sound as though they;ve done the same thing I am hoping for a similar lightbulb moment to happen to mine.....

clayhead - thanks!

mls - thanks. yes, am ready to listen to the instincts. sorry not caught up with your thread today, will do so as soon as i can. hope things are good for you

Peachy, he has always liked a drink, but it's always been under control. It's only the last few weeks he's been bingeing with Sarah and a few others. With no work the next day to worry about he's just really overdone it. I don't think it's time for Al-Anon yet, but will definitely bear it in mind. Didn't know there was a support for family and friends of drinkers, thanks.

Well, his best friend called me very late last night, quite drunk himself. He didn't really want to discuss anything, but told me that there is definitely nothing going on with Sarah. He said that h is looking forward to seeing me on Saturday and discussing what we can do to give things another try!!!!! I asked questions but he wouldn't really answer them, just repeated the above 3 times. He made me promise not to let on that he'd called. Very decent of him, I was touched. And then I got off the phone and I got angry!!

Yep, am now feeling pretty mad about it all. I think this is quite a good state of mind to be going in there with though - it should stop the tears being quite so quick to appear with any luck! Really don't know what tomorrow is going to be like when I see him. Have thought of a few changes I will be asking of him, and have also decided a few I'll tell him I'll be making myself. It's weird to be a bit forewarned about what he might say, though I suppose he may have changed his mind again, who knows.

I DO want to make things work with the husband of a few months ago, and I think I can find him again. Just hope he has a whole new attitude tomorrow.

Will be leaving dd at my parents and meeting at our home, then coming back to parents, so will post when I get back. Please all keep your fingers crossed for me!

snowwonder · 07/04/2007 10:15

Fingers are crossed and wishing you all the very best

Ifonlyhewould · 07/04/2007 10:28

Thinking of you lilybubble and have got everything crossed for you. Good luck, I really hope you mange to work things out xx

contentiouscat · 07/04/2007 11:14

Hope everything goes well Lily. You really do deserve to be treated better than this. I know when I went through similar with an ex partner I kept thinking "why is he doing this to ME, what have I done" but ultimately whilst there were problems which were partly my fault, ultimately the responsibility for his bad behaviour fell with him - there are far kinder ways to resolve issues.

I eventually decided I had enough and moved on - it was hideously hard for a long long time and I really couldnt imagine living without him but ultimately the best thing for me, I now how a lovely DH who I dont think would ever treat me like this.

I hope things work out the way you want.

MarsLady · 07/04/2007 11:16

Hope it works out for you Lily.

snowwonder · 07/04/2007 11:55

nice story c cat, gives us singles all hope!!!

contentiouscat · 07/04/2007 15:08

Snowwonder

My ex's behaviour gradually got worse & worse, eventually it go so bad I confronted him, he still maintained he had no one else. He kept going out, eventually disappearing for a weekend during which time I found "her" number and confirmed he was there.

He said he didnt think he loved me any more but if he decided he did he would come back at which point I just thought "you know what I dont need this sh*t" and moved out - the situation was easier as we did not have children. I can remember saying "I cant imagine going through the rest of my life whithout seeing you again" and he said "maybe in 10 years time I will turn up on your doorstep" I live in FEAR of this happening now as I really feel NO need to ever see him again.

It WAS awful for QUITE some time after and took me a long time to trust again but as the saying goes "What does not kill me, will make me stronger"

OF COURSE there is hope for you singlies... they ALL SEEM charming at the beginning - just take your time to see them in their true colours!!

willywonkasEgghunt · 07/04/2007 16:08

Just wanted to let you know that I was [one of many people] thinking of you today lilybubble. Hope things go OK x

gtimama · 07/04/2007 18:51

Me too Lillybubble - hope it goes well for you.

currantbunmum · 07/04/2007 19:51

Hope today went as you wanted it, sending hugs to you and dd.

mylittlestar · 07/04/2007 20:44

been thinking of you today lily

I really hope it went well

I'll try to get on tomorrow to see how you are

lots of love xx

Fubsychicksnbunnies · 07/04/2007 21:26

Hope it went well, thinking of you.

Will be away for a couple of weeks, no internet access, but keeping fingers crossed for a good outcome!

jules99 · 07/04/2007 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nallyschocolateorange · 07/04/2007 22:27

lilybubble, i have been watching this thread all week and feel desperately sad for you. have kept everything crossed for you today. i hope you get the outcome you wish for. much love to you and your dd xx

nallyschocolateorange · 08/04/2007 13:11

hope all is ok

lilybubble · 08/04/2007 16:20

Thanks everyone for the the good wishes, I was thinking of you all on the way there!

It started off with him saying the same old things, being negative and being quite vague. When I pressed him his issues did start to finally come out. They are basically:

1 - He feels we are more housemates than husband and wife.
2 - He is fed up that I don't have a job.
3 - He is fed up that he pays for everything but that I still say he doesn't face his responsibilities.

Our sex life has been a bit of a disaster since dd was born. I was unable to have sex for the first year (!) - giving birth I had an episiotomy and a 3rd degree tear. All subsequently stitched - incorrectly, and I had to wait some time to have surgery to have it corrected and then let it heal. On top of that, dd has always been a terrible sleeper, and despite trying everything to get her to sleep, including controlled crying as a very last resort (I hate the idea of it) which also failed (and I really did stick at it, miserable). So - we found the only thing that worked was her in bed with us. Then when dh was sick once, dd and I moved to spare bed and we suddenly all had space and had a great night's sleep. So we decided to keep things that way. Only since we've moved have I been able to get dd into her own room and bed. We have talked about this a LOT, and he has never before said that he's not happy. On the contrary he's said he loves having a bed to himself. Obviously now that dd IS in her own room, this could be resolved. Dd also goes to bed late, so we don't get much time to ourselves. Also must admit that my sex drive is not high at all since giving birth. However, he doesn't do much to make me feel wanted. Never really tells me I look nice, doesn't like being affectionate.

I haven't looked as hard as I could have for a job. He thinks I should get any old job as long just for money, whereas I'd like a job that I like the look of. Hands up on this one, but we did agree I'd leave old job (which I loved) to make the move.

He seems to think he does his bit by paying the mortgage and most of the bills. He does practically nothing round the house, and hasn't unpacked a single box since we moved, despite not working. To me, going out all night on a binge is not responsible, at least not when it's done as much as it's been done recently, and when he's spending a fortune on doing it.

He said he still thought we'd be best apart. He suggested we sell the house and move back to London, and get a flat each, and resume our relationship from a first date type of thing. I don't like the sound of this. I will move back and live with him, but that sounds bizarre, expensive and risky.

I suggested again that we go for counselling. He agreed straight away and said we should both look into this and get something sorted as soon as possible.

Then I suggested we go to the pub on our way back to the train station. This worked really well and we just had a laugh and a chat, no talk about the problems, weirdly. It was so nice for it to just be the two of us, no dd around for once. We ended up staying later than planned, and I didn't get a train until 8.30 in the end. He gave me a kiss on the lips goodbye, and things felt much more positive at that point.

So, I feel I'm a lot more to blame than I realised, but he should have tried to talk to me rather than just bottling it all up. I do really feel quite bad for him, and stupid not to have realised before now that I should have made things change.

Am going to take dd to see him tomorrow for a few hours, so that should be interesting.

So - what do you think???!

willywonkasEgghunt · 08/04/2007 16:35

Great to hear from you lilybubble.

I'm concerned that you appear to be taking a huge share of the blame for what's happened. Has he shown any remorse about his recent behaviour? On a positive note, it's good to hear that he is so keen to go to Relate and I hope that this might help redress this balance in both your minds.

Still rooting for you and hope the visit with dd goes well

loopylou6 · 08/04/2007 16:40

oh dear lilybubble, hes good isnt he? cannot believe hes got u believing this is mainly your fault, it sounds to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it by suggesting seperate flats, i dont wanna upset u but i dont belive hes doing right by u and i think u should leave him for your daughters sake as much as yours, u dont wanna give her the message that its ok to be treated badley by men, im sorry if u think i sound harsh, but good luck with it all xx