Seeing a guy... is this weird?

[Athousanddiamonds]

Hi, just want an opinion about a guy I've been seeing.

We met about 3 months ago and have been dating steadily. By dating I mean going for drinks at the pub on occasion and getting to know each other. We both work so only really see each other on the weekends. I have stayed at his house a few times had sex. We text often every day.

Anyway he seems nice enough, we talk a lot and I do fancy him. He split up from his previous gf last year, they were together for 12 years and owned a house together for 8. Not sure this is relevant to my post but just a bit of background.

Anyway we were at his house last weekend and something he said has been bugging me. I don't know if it's just me being sensitive. Years ago I had an unplanned pregnancy with my then bf. I was on the pill at then time and had no intention of being pregnant. I thought long and hard about what I wanted at the time and decided I couldn't go through with the pregnancy. I decided to terminate - please don't judge.

Anyway I brought this up with this guy last weekend (fuck knows why - must have been the wine) and his attitude towards me changed!! I mean like literally as soon as I said he went 'you did what?!! My family can never know about this' but he became almost nasty with me. I explained the pregnancy was never planned, it was contraception failure and not a decision I took lightly. But none of this seemed to matter, he was just completely off with me. I asked him if he had a problem with it - why should he when it's my past!! He replied no, but his family will!!!

I ended up having to justify the choices I made years ago and telling him as if I would tell your family!!! It's not something I talk about it general!!

I only brought it up as we were talking about our pasts. I haven't even met his family yet and sure as hell wouldn't introduce myself then bring it up!!

Was he BU or am I being sensitive? It's played on my mind all week although we have been texting the same as always.

Congratulations OP on your narrow escape!!

Thank you

Wow, his last text was entirely uncalled for. You're well shot of him.

Bloody hell, well done op! He's done well reinforcing your decision with those texts too! What a.dick.

He judged you and made you feel small. Fundamentally I think it means he isn't the catch you first thought.

Incidentally I married a good catholic boy and also had a termination when I was young. Lucikly my DH was really empathetic and totally understood.

Have you heard from him since?

I feel like saying 'try not to bite any arse whilst your out tonight'. I will not be doing that and I've also deleted his number.

I do feel a bit mean as it must be out of the blue for him. I have dumpers guilt.

mumma he hasn't replied back since telling me to fuck myself.

I haven't replied to him since the last text telling him we won't work.

I think you've definitely done the right thing. He's shown you his true colours.

He couldn't keep the Nice Guy Act up for long, could he.

I completely agree you are right to dump him.

Personally after 3 months I would appreciate a face to face conversation rather than a couple of rather brief texts to end it. That's not very respectful either.

Hope some other mug doesn't put up with his crap either. I feel proud of myself tonight. We had really nice plans and everything for tomorrow.

Weekend with films for me it is!

Avacado yes you're right. I do feel bad about texting it. But now I know what I know, I'd hate to think of his reaction had I have been face to face.

Can you block him?

Worrying 5 minutes Hesterton

Wtf? Didn't even give me chance to explain even if I wanted to. What a massive cock. Doesn't like it when things don't go his way. At least I've learnt that now. He is still bruised about his ex I think.

Joysmum I've blocked him on Facebook and if he does text me again I will block his number too.

Oh the old "I'm a catholic" one. If he's a practicing catholic he shouldn't be having sex outside marriage. What a dick. He obeys his religion's rules when it suits him but not when it doesn't.

Did he/you use contraception when you had sex? That's also not allowed within catholicism.

Working previously as a children's social worker I met a man whose girlfriend was pregnant. When I interviewed him about his past it turned out he had 14 children to different women (none of whom he had been married to). Some of the children were the same age as each other. He had no ongoing involvement with any of his children, nor did he support any of them financially. When I seriously questioned him about his knowledge of contraception he told me he wasn't allowed to use it as he was catholic. I did point out to him that if so he shouldn't be having sex until married. Irresponsible twat.

OP you don't have to explain to him why you're ending it at this point. He sounds like a proper moron and well done for ending it so soon.

I was raised catholic btw but gave it all up yonks ago, hence knowing what is and isn't allowed

Just wanted to say good on you, OP. I wish I had been this ballsy and stood up for myself more with some of the absolute wankers I dated.

Good for you op. He proved you did the right thing with his nasty texts. Also don't feel bad! 3 months is fucking nothing and you don't owe him shit! He's lucky he even got a text from you

Oh the old "I'm a catholic" one. If he's a practicing catholic he shouldn't be having sex outside marriage. What a dick. He obeys his religion's rules when it suits him but not when it doesn't.

Crisp I asked him about that a while ago. His and his ex never married yet had a home together. He just said something along the lines of 'I don't take it all literally but I understand what it means' so I left it at that.

I would have also thought that would have applied to his judgment of me. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone and all that. Clearly he missed that point.

He's shags around when he is single. He's probably eyeing up somebody else right now whilst he's out.

It sounds like he is anti-choice (the alternative label to 'pro-life') himself, even if he says he isn't. That's up to him, but I wouldn't bother continuing the relationship as it sounds like he's judged you already. You don't need to spend time with a man who is disappointed in you, it's not what boyfriends are for. Sack him off and find a man who believes in women and their right to make decisions for themselves.
I also don't think you've 'divulged' anything too soon - it's not a dirty secret, it's a termination.

Yes OP, he's just a hypocrite. He was worried what his family might think of you but is he honest with them about how he behaves? Probably not. Perhaps you should tell him that out of concern for his 'moral and spiritual welfare' you've told his family what he gets up to?! Joking of course but I loathe such double standards. You are well rid of him. And as for his comments about your breasts and biting that woman -yeuck!

You could of course tell him the reason you have ended the relationship is due to evolutionary incompatibility, ie: he is a caveman and you''re just a teeny bit more evolved!

well done Girlie