Seeing a guy... is this weird?

[Athousanddiamonds]

Hi, just want an opinion about a guy I've been seeing.

We met about 3 months ago and have been dating steadily. By dating I mean going for drinks at the pub on occasion and getting to know each other. We both work so only really see each other on the weekends. I have stayed at his house a few times had sex. We text often every day.

Anyway he seems nice enough, we talk a lot and I do fancy him. He split up from his previous gf last year, they were together for 12 years and owned a house together for 8. Not sure this is relevant to my post but just a bit of background.

Anyway we were at his house last weekend and something he said has been bugging me. I don't know if it's just me being sensitive. Years ago I had an unplanned pregnancy with my then bf. I was on the pill at then time and had no intention of being pregnant. I thought long and hard about what I wanted at the time and decided I couldn't go through with the pregnancy. I decided to terminate - please don't judge.

Anyway I brought this up with this guy last weekend (fuck knows why - must have been the wine) and his attitude towards me changed!! I mean like literally as soon as I said he went 'you did what?!! My family can never know about this' but he became almost nasty with me. I explained the pregnancy was never planned, it was contraception failure and not a decision I took lightly. But none of this seemed to matter, he was just completely off with me. I asked him if he had a problem with it - why should he when it's my past!! He replied no, but his family will!!!

I ended up having to justify the choices I made years ago and telling him as if I would tell your family!!! It's not something I talk about it general!!

I only brought it up as we were talking about our pasts. I haven't even met his family yet and sure as hell wouldn't introduce myself then bring it up!!

Was he BU or am I being sensitive? It's played on my mind all week although we have been texting the same as always.

Haha Reborn I would judge anyone who bit a strangers arse in a bar because, well, it's just fucking weird. And weirder that this guy thought this was appropriate 'date' conversation.

Had it come out of a friends mouth I probably would have insinuated it's a weird thing to do but wouldn't have been half as shocked by it because we aren't dating!

He bit a woman's bum without consent? What a prize

Schade that went through my head too!

Argh he's just text me. 'Hey, what are you up to? We still good for tomorrow?'

Not sure how to reply now.

*Err, fuck no, Bitey McBiterson, I'm busy"?

Brilliant response. However we've been texting in good terms all week so it would sound bizarre if I was suddenly off with him.

Shall I just just tell him something has come up. Or shall I just bite the bum bullet and say I'm sorry I don't think this is going to work.

He was unreasonable because it's your own business and your past, nothing to do with him. However, abortion is one if those topics that some people have strong views on and this could be a deal breaker for him. I don't see why his family should have to know about it though. Surely he should realise it's your own private business and should respect that?

I'd shoot for the head and kill it dead now. No point when your gut is telling you no, you'll just be giving him a tiny stay of execution.

Have you got friends you can organise something with tomorrow so that you can at least be telling the truth when you say you're busy?

Run like the wind!
Red flags waving wildly!
He assaulted a woman and thinks its funny. He shames the way you dress. He made he feel icky and then glossed over it.

The relationship is ONLY going to go downhill. The more time you spend with him, the worse it will get. This dude has issues with women.

Just tell him its over and you wish him well. Why bother making an excuse? Why ever see him again? Run like the wind!

Sweetheart... your termination is your business and yours alone...

also.. this Guy is not right for you... he has a dark side... x

Dump him

I text him back just saying 'I'm sorry, I don't think I can continue to see you. I wish you all the best in life'.

He's not text back. To be fair I think he is going out with a friend tonight so that could be what the delayed response is. If there is one.

His long term gf left him for someone else last year. I wonder if that's why he has issues with women as PP put. Or I could be making excuses for his weird behaviour.

I would be concerned how deeply his other opinions and beliefs run.... is he always going to react this way when not in agreement, or when your views clash? I understand everyone has their beliefs, of which they are entitled and these may run deep, but (particularly about something so personal), there is such a thing as respect.

He bit a woman? Ffs.

You did totally the right thing OP.

Puppies, biting, pro-life = misogynist.

No I think she left him because he hasn't issues with women.

I think the pp is right, he sounds as though he's an odd way of looking at women. One which won't make him a terribly nice long-term DP/DH. I know you don't go into a relationship thinking "what sort of husband will he make" but you also have to be honest about compatibility and anyone who makes you feel as though you've to justify your history or actions is never going to make you feel loved for exactly who you are.

Has not hasn't.

My instincts have been telling me this for a while now. I don't think he respects women at all. I'm surprised because he has mentioned his Catholicism a few times (I'm not judging here) but then he doesn't take it seriously at all. He doesn't go to church or practice his faith at all. I think it's just because his mum and dad are strict catholic.

Don't make excuses for his behavior. May be she just found someone who is nice to her. He was showing early flags for being emotionally abusive.

Every single one of us choses how we treat people. Lots of people have had horrid experiences and still chose to be kind.

TheRealBiscuit - no, actually he doesn't have as much right to this opinion as OP had to terminate her pregnancy. He has a right to a view on abortion certainly, but not a view on hers, seeing as he doesn't understand and wasn't there to understand the full circumstances. A view and an opinion is just that, and ill judgment should never be passed on others.

I had an abortion. Horrendous. Still makes me feel sick. I can't stand judgers like this dickhead you're dating on this topic. Why would you even tell his family?!?! What a weird comment!

Every single one of us choses how we treat people. Lots of people have had horrid experiences and still chose to be kind.

This 100%. He was pretty rude about it.

You did the right thing OP go by your gut instinct. Something tells me this man has issues.

He replied back 'I thought we were getting on, what's changed your mind?'

Here is where I crumble. No idea what the hell to say.

Doesn't sound like you two are right for each other. Time to exit stage left?