It was all going so well until he said he voted Leave.

[Locotion]

I am sure conflicting politics is a common problem. Shudder. For someone to vote for such a destructive step as flippantly as he said: "just to see what happens" concerns me somewhat.

Aside from that he is very nice. How does one decide whether to take things forward? I guess time will tell? But then.... isnt it more difficult to extract yourself when you are more physically and emotionally entangled.

Oh dear, I don't know what to do. Only had relationship with ex (long term marriage ) & flings. Not sure how things work.

I do like him. But... he voted Leave. And doesnt read. And has lived in thr same place with his family all 4 decades of his live. I read (or did before kids!) & have travelled a bit..... are we compatible?

Oh dear - I sound like I am looking down on his experiences but I guess they are just different ...

Eek

My partner voted leave I voted remain. We manage to have a great relationship and can respect each other's decisions to choose and think for ourselves. The world would b very boring if everyone had to agree on everything

You are looking down on his experiences. I think it's lovely to have lived in the same place for 40+ years. Having family, roots etc - things that are really undervalued and flippantly dismissed these days. I haven't lived in the same place all my life btw so not my experiences impacting this view. Set him free to find someone who likes him!

Also he is entitled to use his vote as he sees fit, without your judgement. You know the leave vote won, right? It was the more popular choice. I voted remain so again not my experience impacting views.

The trivia people concern themselves with.

I could cope with someone voting leave if they had a sound position they could coherently discuss, even if I didn't agree with it. But to do so "just to see what happens" is the indication of a moron who doesn't engage in big picture stuff and probably coasts through life in his own bubble with little genuine engagement with the world around him - which tends to go along with the living in the same place.

Caveats: I have never moved further than 28 miles from where I was born, but I have moved three times within that area. I haven't travelled much outside the UK due to serious phobia of flying and I only tend to read non-fiction.

This thread opitomises why mutual respect and finding out what your core values are is more important than the final vote.

It is possible to have the same core values but vote differently as you both see how to achieve those values differently. I work for a charity with people who all want the same thing. Priorities and how to achieve the end goals makes for friction. Doesn't mean people are bad people and it's actually ok to disagree.

As others have said, often it's more a case of being closed minded and superior that is the real divider. Any vote will bring that to the fore but none more so than the In/Out referendum did.

What about opposites attract?

Apart from voting Leave, what are his other political views? If he voted Leave, usually votes Conservative and likes Donald Trump then you need to end it ASAP

With regards to the living in the same place/not reading etc. to me this is usually an indicator of a small mind/small world mentality. It would put me off too. Does he travel at all? How open is he generally to new experiences?

FFS. I'm well educated. I've travelled a lot. I've lived in different countries. I read ().

I voted leave. Get the hell over yourself accusing all leave voters of being thick. It's fucking tiresome.

It would be a deal breaker for me.

Shared values are the foundation of a successful relationship. This would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. From your description it sounds like he has a very small world and a worldview to match.

I assume this relationship is in its early days? In my opinion, at that point, you can ditch a man for any reason you like including something as silly and petty as the fact that he wears green socks. Because the beginning of a relationship is usually the easiest part. It's the bit where you're all loved up and it's super fun. Stresses of real life haven't kicked in and you aren't in that place where you have to compromise on finances, on family, on time etc. So if something really bothers you now, what are the chances that you are going to be able to survive the harder things down the line?

People always say relationships are hard and take work. And I agree. But they shouldn't be hard or take a lot of work in the beginning. The hard work is when things around you are hard and that impacts your relationship. Children, money, chores, homes, family, bereavement, work etc - those all impact you and your partner and make it necessary to work at your relationship.

So end it now and solve yourself a lot of pain. This man is someone you instinctively have issues with and it is irrelevant if the issues are important or meaningless to anyone else.

I know some people who voted Leave through an 'exit left' mindset - I would still disagree with them but that wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me. Voting Leave 'just to see what happens' speaks of a total lack of political engagement, wilful ignorance and to be honest a degree of arrogance - that because you have been given a democratic right, you needn't bother taking responsibility for educating yourself on what probably will happen, or worrying about the impact of your jolly little experiment on anyone else.

DH and I don't agree on everything. He's a Lib Dem (sigh), I'm more Corbyn-style. But we share most of the same core values, we just slightly disagree on how the best result can be achieved.

It sounds like you're someone who likes to find out about the world and broaden your mindset. It sounds like this bloke is pretty happy to pootle along in his own little bubble. However lovely he is, I think it's going to drive you up the wall.

I’ve lived in the same area all my 45 years and I voted remain. Riddle me that one then

You sound incredibly superior and pompous, OP. Find somebody like you, there are lots around. You can have a little competition with them.

Perhaps this current one will shrug you off without your needing to do anything. I would.

Jesus, people who voted leave aren't all racists. There are several valid reasons for voting it that didn't include race at all. I unfriended a few people at the time for posting their views on the 'uneducated racists: that voted leave. Some people are so closed minded.

I would have to think hard if my partner had very differing political views just as I would if he followed any religion. They are views that have a real impact on attitudes generally and would, I think, lead to other problems down the line.

Most of my family voted leave and as much as I wanted to bang their heads together it didn't make me love them any less (until the day my dad started trying to explain the benefits to me....)

I'd say to him "I'm voting you should leave. Just to see what happens"

I would struggle to get over that tbh. And yes I'm aware how silly that sounds, it's just how I feel

It would be s deal breaker for me. His reasons for voting leave and the fact that he doesn't read would make me think that he's maybe not very intelligent. You'll soon get bored of him if that's the case.

I would be a total deal breaker for me op.
There are people I no longer speak to over voting leave... a person who voted leave has views diametrically opposed to my own. And as the daughter of an immigrant it's hard not to take it as a kick in the teeth from my own countrymen and women.
It sounds as though you have other issues too....so listen to your gut

My DH and I vote very differently. We have a good relationship - we just don't talk about Europe or grammar schools

I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I'd say to him "I'm voting you should leave. Just to see what happens"

it would be so tempting!

Just for balance. Very happily married for almost 2 decades now to a DH the polar opposite in political views. Early years were 'passionate' but then we both appreciated how much we enjoyed debating the issues of the day, and still do. Depends how you view 'politics', I suppose...... If you feel so strongly about fox hunting, or comprehensive education, that anyone who opposes your view is a total dick, then Id advise cutting and running now. Hes always going to be a total dick.....in your view.