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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

It was all going so well until he said he voted Leave.

331 replies

Locotion · 23/08/2017 09:22

I am sure conflicting politics is a common problem. Shudder. For someone to vote for such a destructive step as flippantly as he said: "just to see what happens" concerns me somewhat.

Aside from that he is very nice. How does one decide whether to take things forward? I guess time will tell? But then.... isnt it more difficult to extract yourself when you are more physically and emotionally entangled.

Oh dear, I don't know what to do. Only had relationship with ex (long term marriage ) & flings. Not sure how things work.

I do like him. But... he voted Leave. And doesnt read. And has lived in thr same place with his family all 4 decades of his live. I read (or did before kids!) & have travelled a bit..... are we compatible?

Oh dear - I sound like I am looking down on his experiences but I guess they are just different ...

Eek

OP posts:
Gabilan · 23/08/2017 16:54

I'm fairly amazed that anyone would not have a relationship with someone because they voted differently from them in a referendum

It's not the voting - it's the distinct possibility that behind it there lies a very different set of priorities and values from mine.

OutToGetYou · 23/08/2017 16:58

My now-ex seemed fairly reasonable, interested in politics etc. After 4 years together he joined UKIP. He then voted UKIP. Last year he voted Leave.

Last week I moved into my own new house and never have to see the twat again.

It just couldn't work for me after that I'm afraid. Especially when he was so scathing about people who voted Remain, and said Trump 'needs to be given a chance' and didn't see any problem with his ex wife's new bf calling black people 'N' in front of his teenage son....

LellyMcKelly · 23/08/2017 17:57

DirtyMartini, what on earth makes you think we can't trade with Africa? Have you never been down a Tesco wine isle? All that lovely South African Sauvignon? We have always been able to trade with Africa. The reason there isn't much trade between the two countries is that they don't have anything we want to buy, apart from diamonds and wine, and they are too poor to buy anything we want to sell. Africa has three trade zones which cooperate, and have trade agreements with the EU. Sitting outside the EU will not enhance the UK's trade with Africa and it will certainly not make us better off than we are now; it will not get us a better deal than we have now, and it is unrealistic to think that it will.

AgentProvocateur · 23/08/2017 18:13

I think I was maybe the first person to bring up intelligence, but in my defence, I wrote that HIS REASON for voting leave and the fact that he doesn't read would make me think he's not that intelligent.

I wasn't insinuating that all leave voters were thick.

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 18:18

And the RotW beyond Europe think Brexit's as idiotic as everyone else.

Wow your phone book must be huuugggee if you know everyone in the rest of the world.

I'm guessing the first poster was referring to the international press coverage on Brexit, if so then she's (or he's) right, the whole world has been laughing at us.

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 18:18

Sorry, apart from Trump who thinks it's great.

Carolinesbeanies · 23/08/2017 18:59

"My only regret is that Remainers have zero input into what kind of Brexit we get"

My issue with this statement is, pro-eu'ers have had decades to have their voices heard in brussels, yet here we are with UKIP holding the majority UK MEP seats in Brussels. Why didnt remainers vote before? I was always an abstentionist in EU elections, as I never supported the EU and it was my silent objection, but I still scratch my head at the current EU love in, from a raft of the population that never bothered voting in the past.

To then say the remain voice isnt being heard today, clearly hasnt got a telly, but flies in the face with being happy to be represented in the EU by UKIP?

Lets hope the OP isnt dating an articulate beau, or she may quickly find herself on sticky ground.

PaskinRobbin · 23/08/2017 20:15

I'm sorry to say that, in my experience, the majority of leave voters are selfish, a bit thick, and ultimately anti-immigrant and often racist, deep down. They just didn't grasp fully the folly of what they voted for. I realise that there are exceptions to this, but they do make up the majority. I would never consider having a relationship with one of them. It would be similar to having a relationship with someone who never cleaned their teeth.

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 20:23

Referendums - one was on withdrawing from the League of Nations - '33, one was on the merging of President and Chancellor - '34. Another was on annexation of Austria - '38 for example. The first being the most relevant.

That's very interesting, thank you.

I wonder how the campaign for withdrawing from the League of Nations went and if many of the objections to the LoN were similar to the Leave campaigns objections hatred of the EU. I bet they would have wanted to remove themselves from the ECHR (if it had existed) like TM does as well.

JK1773 · 23/08/2017 20:32

Paskin how fantastically offensive and utterly wrong you are. Your opinions of people (half the population) whose opinion on one issue differed from your own is frankly disgusting. You are being personally disrespectful to people and accusing them of disgusting beliefs.

This site is supposed to be one for mutual support for each other, it's descended into personal abuse. Personally I think your beliefs about ordinary people who exercised their right to vote and did so for none whatsoever of the reasons you suggest, are vile. Read your post back in shame and bore off

PaskinRobbin · 23/08/2017 20:37

Hi JK1773. It's really not personal or abusive. It's simply based on my experiences. Ultimately when I talk to leave voters, what most of them really have a problem with is foreigners. Do you disagree?

I simply wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone who holds those views. If others are able to compartmentalise and ignore that, all power to them.

JK1773 · 23/08/2017 20:44

It's both to be honest. You are tarring people who voted a certain way with the same brush, calling them thick and racist and comparing them to people who don't brush their teeth. Frankly you should be ashamed and if those are the types of people you speak to maybe you should re-think that. I'm all for an intelligent debate but your comment wasn't that was it?

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 20:45

JK1773

Have you had a look at the Vote Leave etc facebook pages?

JK1773 · 23/08/2017 20:47

No because I don't go in for that (what I assume) is racist drivel. Don't you see that what is being said here is JUST as bad!

JK1773 · 23/08/2017 20:50

To be honest you're fuelling the problem by reading that crap! Do you really think ordinary decent people have those views? Honestly??? Or is Faceache just a sounding board for racist idiots hiding behind a screen

MiniTheMinx · 23/08/2017 20:51

Shared political views are important because underlying any political position is values. It really tells you all you need to know about someone. I voted leave and I'm far left, DP did too. A fence sitting slightly left of centre liberal I am not.

Differences in reading habits and life experiences can be interesting.I would find it very difficult, but I've known interesting and clever people who have been rooted to village life and have never read a book. I suspect though that once you have skimmed the surface there is no depth.

His attitude of "just to see" smacks of ignorance. Ignorance is never attractive.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/08/2017 20:51

PaskinRobbin

I my experience the majority of remainers are bigoted people who think that they are better than everyone else.

The good news is that I also know remainers that are kind considerate and are prepared to listen to others views.

Maybe just maybe you should reconsider who you hang around with.

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 20:51

Don't you see that what is being said here is JUST as bad!

That almost sounds like Trump saying the Anti Far Right protesters in Charlottesville are just as bad as the Nazi protesters.

AvoidingCallenetics · 23/08/2017 20:51

Fb is not indicative of real life.
We all know that most of what exists on fb is total bollocks.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/08/2017 20:52

fakenamefornow

Have you had a look at the Vote Leave etc facebook pages?

Why would sensible person believe that facebook or its ilk is a genuine representation of all the leave voters?

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 20:53

No because I don't go in for that (what I assume) is racist drivel

That filled all the official Leave facebook pages.

LadyWithLapdog · 23/08/2017 20:53

OP - he voted Leave and he doesn't read. Unless he's a sex god, swerve. If he is, up to you.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/08/2017 20:54

fakenamefornow

That almost sounds like Trump saying the Anti Far Right protesters in Charlottesville are just as bad as the Nazi protesters.

the straw man has arrived.

JK1773 · 23/08/2017 20:56

What absolute bollocks fakenamefornow. I'm objecting to half the population being labelled as thick, racist, don't brush their teeth!!!!! How does it compare exactly?

fakenamefornow · 23/08/2017 20:57

Why would sensible person believe that facebook or its ilk is a genuine representation of all the leave voters?

I don't believe it is representative of ALL Leave voters. I have never once said I do. What I do think is that Leave has a very significant problem with racism and that people who voted Leave are in denial or willfully ignoring it.

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