to NOT let my DC go and stay with a woman they have met once?

[donners312]

My narc ex took my to court for access for my 2 DC.

He saw them twice in 18 months before that and long story short has let them down a million times.

In court he asked for 50% of the school holiday. I agreed.

They are now returning from holiday tomorrow from Spain leaving all their cousins and family behind to spend 3 weeks with the 'D'F.

He has just told me "Sharon"will pick them up and have them because he has to work away. The have met her once.

This basically leaves me up shit creek without a paddle as i have to work but i can't send them to stay with a woman they don't know (he has never confirmed she is is GF) I have no idea where she lives? But it is not in this county approx 3 hours away I think.

Can see this back i court as i will say i am blocking contact but the contact was supposed to be with him not his latest victim?

If it was about the children from the father's point of view he wouldn't be taking them away from a holiday to spend time with a stranger that they don't like and don't want to be with.
Stick to your guns op. He isn't being fair but if you can, still facilitate visits when he will be there.

The kids can cope with being temporarily uncomfortable. Having new experiences is useful for kids, especially ones where they're outside their comfort zone. This really isn't a lot to ask, it's hardly abusive! Didn't you have any of these uncomfortable type of experiences when you were a child?

@NoRetro what's the point in your nasty posts? Do you have any dcs yourself? Show some empathy for someone in an awful situation, this is not all about op. If you haven't got something worthwhile to add, don't say anything at all.

So sorry op, but I wouldn't let my dcs go either, regardless of the legalities.

No-I can safely say I was never left with someone I didn't know for any great amount of time.

"Someone in an awful situation"...come on! Her kids are going to be picked up by someone. Shocker! Stop the press! They'll be fine. Why all the unecessary drama?

Not just picked up Ketchup123, looked after for three weeks by somekne tbey met ONCE

They are staying with the woman for three weeks.
By actually my kids wouldn't be that happy about being picked up by someone they didn't know either as it goes.

What do you think is going to happen?!

The OP is trying to play the martyr card, under the guise of "I'd do anything to protect my children" hystrionics. The kids will be fine. It'll be a growth opportunity, like camp or scouts. Gove over with the drama.

Courts are supposed to act in childrens interests if father is going to dump children on someone they hardly know for all that time i think you should try to get evidence of this and go back to court to reduce his time - also if children refuse to go with a stranger they are at an age where this should be given some consideration by the courts?

Surprised at the minimising here. There is no way my children would be looked after by a stranger for three weeks in an address I didn't know. There's another thread here about children who only see dad with ow and are upset as they don't get time on their own with him and it's ruining their relationship with him - this is three weeks! If he really wanted a good relationship with them he wouldn't do this.

Good luck op, please seek legal advice. Even if it doesn't get anywhere your children will know you're fighting for them.

Ketchup-would you yourself willingly spend three weeks living with someone you don't know, having had little prior warning of it and with that hitherto unknown person being able to tell you what to do and when? I highly doubt it.But that's what's being asked of these kids.I can't see how that's ok at all.

My dd's are being looked after by my boyfriend for the first time tomorrow whilst I work. For 8 hours. They have spent lots of time with him (with me) over the last 5 months or so.They say they like him.I have asked them In advance if they are ok with him having them on his own tomorrow.Ive sat with them all and they have a planned activity for the day they are all happy with.If they weren't 100% happy then it wouldn't be happening (as much as to protect their future relationship as anything else-it's a difficult situation introducing a new partner, emotions can run high and it needs to be done sensitively and carefully)Compare and contrast that with the approach op's ex h has taken.

Why would the op feel at ease because her ex h, a man who thinks this plan is sound (so it therefore not quite right in the head himself) says this woman is 'nice'. Of course she's nice to him-he's got his dick in her-that doesn't mean she will be nice to the kids, it doesn't mean she is fit to look after them, and it doesn't mean the kids will be comfortable with it.
Sharon might be well be a perfectly nice person.Or she might be a drunk, drug addled lunatic. It doesnt matter...who the hell would happily leave kids with someone neither they or the kids know at all, at a time when they were meant to be with their other parent?

Bert is right - you must speak to your solicitor urgently. He clearly doesn't intend to spend the holidays he has asked for with his children, he has obtained the court order in order to deprive you of holidays with the children and vice versa. Also, if this pathetic excuse for a father can't take time off work to spend time with his kids, why isn't the cheapskate cunt paying maintenance? You have my sympathy. You need the order nailed down when dealing with this kind of specimen.

My friends dh took his own ds to A&E as he had obviously broke his arm. . He didn't know the precise dob( total oaf!) and they couldn't check him in. .
Waited 40 mins for the dm to check her phone!

Don't the kids wishes come into this? They are upset and don't want to go for 3 weeks to somebody they met once and didn't like.

Just trying tell him to either collect them and look after them himself or don't bother. You have said you don't care about the legal side, not much will happen if you refuse to let them go, he could take you back to court for breaking the court order but this will probably be laughed out of court ( he wanted 50% of the holidays but he can't even arrange to be available for his kids). Just don't let them go. Simple.

It's hardly a dangerous situation (that's what I mean about the hystrionics - the assumption that something AWFUL is happening). It's OK for kids/anyone to feel minor discomfort with a situation. What kind of precious children are you rearing that at this age you need to legally protect them from mild social discomfort. Get a grip, it will be a learning experience.

Nope, no, fuck that shit.

This ^^

Have you made a decision OP? This must be horrific for you.

I would not send my kids with a strange woman, especially if they didn't want to go. They're old enough to have an opinion!

I would say no, based on he can pass them over to others while in his care, but they actually need to be in his care first!

But that is my gut instinct and based on nothing legal obviously.