Is he having an affair #2

[worldupsidedown]

Continuing on from 'is he having an affair'

23:03 and still not home.

I'm sorry, it's the last thing you want to hear but...I like the shirt ☺️

Hope you managed some sleep.

That shirt is hideous and I say that as a trendy well I think so 19 year old! Patterned shirts can look really cool, my dp has a few lovely ones and my dad has a floral one (although it's a vintage Paul smith one, not a cheap crappy one) and a few others but although he's 40's, he's always been a bit alternative and he's pretty damn cool tbf.
Most older men would look like a dad in a crap shirt.

How old is the other woman? If she suggested it, she's got no taste. If she didn't, I bet she'd be mortified at him turning up in it.

Sorry for what you're going through OP

Something you said OP something along the lines that he'll miss your cooking? I cooked for mine from scratch every night...he still dumped me and didn't look back...sorry

My STBXH is wearing hideous shirts as well! Probably trying to look younger, more 'snazzy'!

World, I thought you'd be inundated with suggestions. Also I don't know how to PM on tha app. However I have one lawyer recommendation.

themidult.com/midult-pages-23-best-divorce-lawyers-uk/

My friend used this list and chose Catherine Costley at PHB 020 7465 4300 She was in a very similar situation to you with high earning city husband. She got a good settlement and felt well represented and kep the house. DC were 17 and 14. He had to support them until end of education including university.

www.phb.co.uk/cv/associates/116/Catherine-Costley

If my links don't work PM me and I'll try to reply on laptop.

Chin up, guns blazing.

Frizzcat! Omg I'm hysterical at your post! 😆

I think you need one of the SH lawyers. He isn't going to come talking to you now so start carving out what you now want. And cook your delicious food because you like it. Stuff him

That shirt is hideous! It's curtain material.

WORLD, this link is for you. The author Lisa, also replies to messages. She, along with the Chumplady, kept my head above water when I got dumped:

lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com

World from experience. He won't be thinking at all about your beautifully cooked meals. He'll probably be relieved you're happy to have the dog. He's clocked out of the relationship with you and all the things you thought you both cherished. Sorry if this sounds harsh. But please don't be delusional. I was and it took me longer to start the recovery.

He's in starry eyed gaga land ... obviously can't be seeing straight to think about wearing a shirt like that.

As others have eloquently said .... he is not the person you knew. He is someone completely different. Big girl pants. Onwards. Solicitor day and also transferring £ for £ what he has taken out of the account for YOURSELF. Not for DD. Anything she needs is additional. He is not sharing his spending amounts on anything for DD is he.

My eyes!!! My eyes!!! That shirt is hideous!! X

Morning everyone. I woke when DH had obviously started getting up, dogs excited, etc. I heard he was in the shower so nipped down and took the holiday cc in his name and hid it.

Then onto the usual routine; let the dogs out, let the chickens out, feed the dogs, make coffee, ... back upstairs...

DH, wallet in hand 'morning, have you taken a credit card from my wallet?
Me: No ... continued upstairs
DH 'There's one missing'

....back to bed, check emails, update/action bookings for holiday property, considers how all that will work in future.

DH left for work
Received text - sorry but could you cancel my xcard. It must have fallen out my wallet at some point yesterday. Maybe when buying fish and chips?
Next text - Than you for moving my stuff. I'm sorry it hurts. It will get easier.

Sigh

Drinks coffee while posting on MN

I'll check if the shirt is hang in the wardrobe later. If it is then it's a keeper!

I'm sorry it hurts?! What the actual fuck?!

I would be RAGING!

What a cheeky f, telling you to cancel his card. He's still treating you like a secretary. Hope you're not going to?

Tell him to cancel it himself, or get a PA. Patronising git.

Sorry xpost fern x

Delurking to say please do not cancel his card. That's not in your remit anymore.

So sorry, that comment sorry it hurts is so cold. I feel for you.

Has he even apologised for his behaviour?
Has he grovelled and said he won't see her and wants to make it work?

His behaviour seems quite indifferent to me and that text is just rude! Did he think it wouldn't hurt?!
I'd be expecting grand gestures, grovelling and lots of explanations if it was me.

He is so patronising! I think u need to take urself down to the best hair salon in town, get ur hair done, spa for ur nails and face. Spend his money on u. Make urself look hot and go out with friends. Enjoy being free from this selfish delusional man.

On another note, I wonder y he bought this shirt? Did he google 'cool' shirts? Who buys clothes off Amazon? Doubt she chose it for him, I think it's his way of trying to look younger which suggest he is insecure about his appearance.

And defo don't do a single thing for him anymore. He treats u like his secretary. No respect. So patronising. No guilt no shame for destroying your family life. U need to start getting angry and make him pay.

Total bastard.

I would not reply.

I would also have a lock placed on your bedroom today with a key. That bedroom is now your private space.

The days of being his skivvy are over OP! 🎉

What euphemia said, jeeez!
I've read the whole thing and am so sad for you, but you are doing so well!!! Really impressed with your strength, this site is fantastic
I was excited to see the shirt as I'm married to a very well dressed 44 year old who has a couple of floral numbers that he always gets complimented on. That is definitely not one of them!!!!

Text back 'cancel it yourself'