Is he having an affair #2

[worldupsidedown]

Continuing on from 'is he having an affair'

23:03 and still not home.

Good for you for staying strong.

Keep strong and angry

Regarding the MIL, please don't think she's on your side
She's his Mother!, and bloods thicker.
She may be angry and a bit sad at what's happened BUT it's not her life
And she will always back her son.
Just be careful what you tell her please

My first marriage (husband cheated )
I rang Mil and told her that her son had been out all night with another woman.
Her answer was , don't be stupid.
Her next breath was, I'm coming down. I thought great she will knock some sense into him.
NO, she told him pack a bag, your staying with us.
So that left myself and a 3 year old devastated, and crying.
OW was round there house within 2 weeks, I never forgave them for that. There only grandchild.

Your also making it to easy for him, staying in the bedroom.
Go downstairs, put the tv on(you don't gave to be watching it)
Walk around, don not hide yourself away, it's your house.
He will be thinking , great she's not about. .

Don't let him chose when he decides to talk to you, if you have any question ask away. Don't let him have an easy time.
He's hurt you, I don't want to be with you anymore.
The cheeky fucker!
Tomorrow put all his thing on the bed in the other room.
Do not put them away, let them get fucking creased(won't be looking smart then,will he)

Sending hugs x

51, yes of course he is. How boringly predictable. Typical walking cliche.
YY to squirreling away cash.
Get a lawyer who would terrify the life out of you if they were acting for him: a lawyer is not your friend, they earn a lot of money, and they must benefit, not befriend you.

I'm a little worried about your daughter to be honest. She's 15, has spent the last night (two nights?) with her boyfriend and you'd previously mentioned a lot (if not all) of this to her and she was in contact with her father about it?

Have you not thought that it would be better she came home and you discussed what was happening with her face-to-face? She must be pretty vulnerable right now.

Hmm. 51. And she's "much younger" than him. Presumably so much younger that she hasn't got her own place for them to go shagging in, and may still be living with Mummy and Daddy. (Wonder what they'll think of her new boyfriend).
In view of all that too, it's likely she's pretty impressed by him flashing the cash on her. I predict she'll milk it for a while and get some nice gifts/weekends in posh hotels out of him, and then she'll find herself embarrassed in front of her mates when everyone mistakes him for her dad so she'll ditch him. Either that or he won't be able to afford those hotels once you've taken him to the cleaners so she'll cut her losses.

Then he might just come sniffing around you again. But you'll have moved on by then.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

She may hate the way her father has acted towards you, but she will be feeling she has lost him too when you split up. Please keep a door open for them to form a new relationship if she wants it in the future.

My daughter is really happy to be at her BFs, she's in the spare room and he's keeping her busy, they are doing stuff together. He goes on holiday Friday so I don't mind her brig happy there, spending all the time she wants with him rather than at home right now. DH hasn't contacted her at all.

I dont think it scary that they all follow the script, I find it laughable that they all think that they are being so fucking unique!

Ah, right, I thought you (yourself) had told your DD all about this. That's how it came out in your first thread anyway, and you replied saying that she was aware of it all.

Personally, if it was me, I'd want to explain face-to-face what was happening rather than letting it linger and be unknown when she's at people's homes she's never stayed with before...

This is why women need to work imo. Not being valued for shirts meals and dogs

I think it's good that she's out of the house at the moment as it gives World a bit of time to get over the shock of it all and gather her thoughts and decide what to do.
World, it should be her dad that tells her what has happened. Let him be the one to tell her (in your presence) that he's having an affair, and him that answers any questions she has.
It's going to be very hard for you. Be as brave and strong as you can be.

She didn't have to stay at BFs house if she didn't want to and she asked if she could stay again because she likes it there. The other option is she's here all day just with me trying to deal with everything

" Let him be the one to tell he"

The OP already told her.

He can still talk to her, if he wants to, if he makes any effort for time with her

I have read through your threads and wanted to give my support.
Hopefully your family and friends are supporting you too.

I went through something similar myself a number of years back (my dd was 3yo). Looking back, I felt relieved that I wasn't going mad and that my unease and sadness was being constructed by my Xp and not me.

Be kind to yourself

I know op told dd about the affair, but dd doesn't know what the outcome will be. He needs to be the one to tell her of divorce and the reason why. She deserves the chance to to talk to him directly and have any questions answered.

^ felt relieved as I knew something was up and it wasn't me loosing it (which I was made to feel)

OP you are handling this so well. Please don't let him have his cake and eat it. Have you told him he should move in with YOW or are you biding your time?

How was the sex life?

I'll find my moment. Hopefully I'll feel a bit better tomorrow and get more proactive. Today was sort the bedroom arrangements day. Tomorrow is find the right solicitor day. Please pm me if anyone has a good one, was mentioned earlier

Given how REVOLTED she's likely to be at the idea of him having sex with someone not much older than her, I imagine he won't be keen to take questions from DD.

I think I know the cinema you were referring to OP - if the OW lives in a shared house round there she's probably too embarrassed to take a sad middle-aged dad from the golf belt home to shag in the presence of her young hip flatmates

Many years ago whenI was young and hip one of my friends took up with an older man (divorced) - we took the piss MERCILESSLY and I don't think he was even 40.

If it is the same cinema that I am thinking of then yes, it is achingly hip round there. I am surprised that they dont ID anyone over the age of 30 in that area to stop them getting in!

You sound lovely - and far too kind to revel in revenge but if you need to witness a little justifiable suffering from your 'D' P you can probably just sit by the river and wait:

-look ahead a few years (months) and imagine how a 51 year old man, who already feels the need new outfits and cosmetics in order to keep up, is going to stay interesting to the MYOW. He is heading for heartbreak there, rather than many happy years of love/shared experience. He probably already looks a little ridiculous.

-even if you have a lovely time somewhere - the moment comes when you miss the things you really love and the life you used to have. This will happen to him in waves - starting very soon. The cooking - the washing - these are just little pinpricks - the rest is just waiting to fall on him.

-he will have lost the respect his daughter had for him. That is a really hard blow for any real father.

I'm glad that you are going for the SHL rather than the kind/sympathetic one. You and your daughter need to be properly looked after while he wanders off into the small hell he has created. You deserve safety and comfort. He needs to live the whole of the experience he was aiming for.

His pain won't cancel yours - but at least you can know that he will be sharing the experience eventually.

FFS! Why am I tiptoeing around my bedroom! (Spare room is downstairs)

He is an attractive man for his age (unfortunately) 6'2 but grey now.