Is he having an affair #2

[worldupsidedown]

Continuing on from 'is he having an affair'

23:03 and still not home.

Think he's gone out to get TA

Whack the telly on op and ignore...

Don't bite.

My DD is happy, her BF has been keeping her busy all day

I'm cosy in my room watching tv

No OW tonight, this could mean that he's told her and she has scarpered.

He's going to realise very quickly what he's turning his life into, he loves my cooking and works too late to cook properly for himself

Let him get on with it. And if he leaves washing up put it in his room tomorrow. His cushy life is done, the sooner he learns that the better. His plan for everything staying the same while he goes off and shags OW when he feels like it is not going to happen, he's going to be living on takeaways in the spare room with everyone knowing what he's done. He won't be feeling so calm and smug soon, especially when the solicitor gets involved. Poor sod has no idea what he's started yet!

Chin up. You're doing great.

You shouldn’t have to be on pins wondering when/if he’s coming home. Lock the doors (keep your half turned key in the lock), OP and let the selfish, entitled shit knock if he deigns to come home.

My heart goes out to you, world and the sheer fucking audacity of him to ask you why you didn’t say anything as he is sexting/messaging his mistress while lying beside you in the marital bed - the bastard.

Take time for yourself and make plans with your DD to have a lovely girly weekend away in the hotel, lovely lady.

Lovely as your room no doubt is, I would lay claim to the living room in the evenings; let him stay in his room!

I've said it before and I'll say it again with my chin on my rather ample chest.

He's some fucking nerve.

You're doing great @worldupsidedown you're doing great

You shouldn't have to hide in the bedroom either. Living room. Tv on. Cozy on sofa. Your house, don't hide.

I'm not going to the hotel and it's not the kind of thing my DD would want to do. I hope he cancelled it tbh

I know this may be viewed as devious by some people, but you need to build a cash stash up, and fast.

Ways that I think of are when you do the weekly shop, ask for a bit of cash back, same when you fill up, if you have a car.
Also stock up for things for yourself for when you need to buy on your own, if cash flow will allow. So uniform for DD, load up school dinner credits, prepay clubs etc. If you have the headspace. Time to look after you and DD. At least you'll get back some of the money he spent on OW.

I don't fave any good advice other than get a very good solicitor and be VERY clear what you want out of the divorce and dig your heels in...esp if what you want is not unrealistic.
Good luck for what the future brings. Xx

What click happy said. Some pretty sound advice

It's hard, but you need to stop caring where he is or when he's coming home. Harsh, but it's no longer your concern.

Get your own clothing or towels or bedding into the washing machine before he gets home each day when you suspect he's running out of clothes. Make it hard for him.

Your MIL will be firmly in his camp. how old is your DH? Her focus on the'much younger woman' questions have me wondering if she'll try to look at the positive side for 'her', as in possible new grandchildren hopes. He may well dangle the idea in front of her to get her firmly on board and working against you...

Hide the wash powder if it's yours too 😄

Dear world he has started to play the game now tbh now is the time you must stay strong silence is golden so sit and watch his actions x it's all about the long game x stay strong get some fire in your belly x I hope you get some sleep this evening x

If he hasn't, I'd cancel it and keep the refund.

DH is 51

Head high OP, you're doing great.

Keep strong but do reiterate that you'd like him to leave, at least for a short space of time. I'd also let other people know, including PIL, that you have asked him to leave and he is refusing to do so. Don't let him hide behind you. You'll find you have lots of support in RL and lots of people prepared to tell him he is behaving v.badly.

Pathetic bastard. He doesn't deserve you. Stay strong World

This is a dreadful tale.
But I'm a bit baffled by the laundry and cooking comments. If a husband is only valuing a marriage for the home comforts of ironed shirts and hot meals, then it's not much of a marriage, surely? You can pay for that stuff (and presumably he managed just fine before you met anyway, and can do so again. He's a grown man, not an incompetent baby).

By all means stop doing it, but just don't think he would care for one minute or will miss it in any meaningful way.

What he should be missing is someone who has his back, a stable family, a partner in life, his best friend. Not a housekeeper. It's when he realises he's lost those things, that's when the regret might kick in. Not just because he has to put a load of washing on.

God, if men married for ironed shirts, my husband would have left me long ago.

But. Having said that. He's a piece of shit. As you were.