My fiance won't communicate, storms off

[RoboGirl]

I'm planning on getting married next June, but I'm worried about this behaviour.

My fiance has a terrible temper, and when he gets in any way upset (e.g. if I ask him to do the dishes or suggest that perhaps he could stop sulking over something), he will fly into a rage and storm out of the house. He has just done this at my soon-to-be inlaws house, leaving me here with his family. I am so humiliated to have them know that I am treated like that. It's so awful having to sit here and explain when they ask "where's fiance?", having to say that he stormed out and left me here.

He got back and has refused to talk to me. I was in floods of tears. I think his family convinced him to come and talk to me, but it was an exercise in threat and humiliation. He kept raising his voice, which I found very humiliating in front of his family. Then he threatens to walk off every few seconds. So we can't have a conversation/I can't tell him how I'm feeling because he's constantly standing at the door, and as soon as I say anything trying to stand up for myself (like I don't deserve to be treated like this), he storms off again, leaving me here on my own.

I have asked him to get counselling to control his temper, but he refuses to admit that he has a problem. I find his constant threats to walk off mean that we can't communicate. It is very bullying and threatening.

I just feel so humiliated. I'm sat here in the bedroom of his family's house unable to go anywhere because he is downstairs with them laughing away, and I don't want him to make another scene in front of them.

Why on earth would you marry this awful man? Do you really want to be this unhappy for the rest of your life?

In all honesty he sounds like he has the behaviour and emotional intelligence of a spilt teenager and this would make me seriously reconsider the relationship, let alone marriage. Have things always been this way or has there been a change? How long have you been together?

*spoilt teenager even

He's not going to change, because he doesn't see his behaviour as a problem, so you need to decide whether you want to sign up for a marriage full of this. It seems pretty miserable to me, and out there is almost certainly someone who will love and cherish you for who you are without needing to trample your feelings and put you down.

Ditch the fiancé and find someone who is worth it.

Walk away. His behaviour is appalling

This will be your whole entire life if you you marry him.

OMG. This is no life! I can't believe why you haven't packed your stuff and gone. He's not going to change...

Don't marry him.

OP. Why are you marrying this idiot?

We've been together for almost 10 years.

out there is almost certainly someone who will love and cherish you for who you are without needing to trample your feelings and put you down.

This makes me cry because I can't actually imagine being in that situation.

Go downstairs with your head held high, get your stuff and ltb.

You'll never be in that situation if you don't leave him though. You need to dig deep and make the break. You can do it if you choose to. You deserve peace and joy in your life xxx

Just because you have wasted ten years with this loser doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life with this miserable man child.
Better be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone who's destroying you. Nought is lost yet, walk away and don't look back.

You can do better than this. Anyone could.

Throw him back..he is defective and he won't change

If you marry him you are a fool

Don't cry lass.

There will be someone who will be kind to you.

Grab your life - go find someone who makes you happy, not scared.

Please listen to everyone.
This will only get worse.

Leave

This will get worse not better if you marry him. Don't make the mistake of thinking you must stay with him because you have been together so long.
It is entirely possible to have a relationship with someone who doesn't lose their temper all the time and humiliate you- he is not that person

RoboGirl I have been there. Married to a similar chap for 10 years. But I found the courage to walk away. It took every ounce of courage but it was the best thing I ever did.
I am now with (since several years) the kindest guy you could hope to meet.

This is emotional abuse. You are a victim and this is not your fault. He is an abuser. You deserve a man who will love, respect and cherish you.

Believe me this will only get worse. Has he been violent yet to you?
Sadly the chances are high that this abuse could escalate.

Please start reading about emotional abuse. Maybe you could set yourself the goal of calling women's aid next week. To talk things through. Coming here was a good first step but you will need some real life support too.

Make that the VERY last time you put up with this appalling behaviour.
Start to detach and disentangle tonight.
Nobody deserves this.
We are on your side

Good grief. Forget marrying him, find yourself someone who deserves you. That behaviour is disgusting and makes you feel unheard and worthless. And you are neither of those things.

He is acting like this to control you. Youll stop asking him to do things or question him because you wont want the fall out.

DO NOT MARRY HIM. it doesnt matter how long youve been together.

Run like the wind - you deserve so much better than this!

But I wonder if he could change if he went and got counselling to control his temper? He is generally very like a teenager when he gets upset, and it has been a real struggle in our relationship.

I just want to feel some kindness in my life.

To be fair to him, he must feel very upset to treat me like this.

You know what?

You will marry him,

For your own reasons.

Your choice. Take care