New employee annoying

[Catchuptv]

There's a woman started in our office 4 months ago. She is such a suck up it's unbearable. She works extra hours to 'keep on top' and hardly joins in conversation at work because she is really busy.

She does have a heavier workload than the other 2 women and myself - but boy does she know it.

When she first started we could have a bit of a laugh with her and she'd join in the banter. We take the mick out of each other. However she's started to say things like -'why are you calling me that' - (we call her pussy or flapperjack - just stuff like that).

She also pulled me up the other day - she was going on about some stuff she had to do when I told her to chill out. She said she was chilled and had she done something to offend me because I'd been off with her earlier. She HAD asked a stupid question earlier and tbh I'd been a bit obtuse when I didn't really answer her question.

I'm now getting worried that she's going to go to HR because we swear a lot in our office and I don't know if she's getting fed up with it.

How can I find out and what should I do.

You deserve the sack....meow....

Oh my goodness your poor colleague OP having to take all that bullying, I hope the perpetrators are sacked from their employment and thus will have time to reflect on their nasty behaviours.

Posted upthread, sorry missed the poster's name, but well said.
It's only banter if the person it is directed at is up for it and gives it back in return. If not then it's bullying

This x 10,000

We all (OP excluded obvs) have seen the results of "banter" at school and in the workplace and in some families.
Again, It's only banter if the person it is directed at is up for it and gives it back in return. If not then it's bullying.

I hope your colleague reports you to HR.

New employee is obviously anxious to do a good job and pass her probation period etc. She sounds conscientious and hard working.

You, on the other hand, , say you have less work to do (why?) and seem to think it is good fun to tease her, call her names and swear a lot. Do you actually do any work?

You don't sound very pleasant and I am glad I don't work with you.

Why has a new start got a heavier workload than experienced colleagues anyway?

You sound like a nightmare and very old fashioned. I'm a lawyer. I take the piss out of friends where we are comfortable with each other, we know and like each other's humour and crucially, are equal. Completely separately, in the office - if anyone and esp somewhere junior or a new start asks a daft question I answer it politely and warmly. This creates a nice atmosphere. If they say sorry that was a daft question I would say, even if it was, something like no honestly you want to hear the things I ask sometimes. Calling someone a pussy when they ask a question, and are not an established friend who accepts your "rules" is not funny and it is bullying. Your HR should take what you've done seriously. You mentioned she swears when she makes a mistake so can't complain: Her saying oh fuck or shit when she's made a mistake is a completely different matter so do not kid yourself this avails you.

You sound unprofessional, unpleasant and not funny: "ha ya pussy!" 🤔🙄 then you add that you could not be threatened by her as she's older, chubby and unattractive. You sound very shallow to imagine these are the only things that could make a person feel threatened?

Please join the year 2017 Davina Brent.

You sound horrible, serves you right if you do get reported to HR. I hope she does.

I thought this was a reverse

Why are you so threatened by your colleague if you've worked there a while and considered a good employee? You must be very insecure. I hope I never have to work with someone like you!

Up until that last post I assumed this was a teenage/early 20's bloke as I don't think I've ever heard a fully grown women say it's all banter 😉

Think you've misjudged this one OP, try harder next time

You deserve to be reported to HR! Your behaviour sounds very unprofessional. Calling someone a pussy or any other names, other than their preferred one is appalling. Equally swearing isn't professional and can offend. Yes, lots of people swear in my work place, but it's tailored to the correct time and place, and usually informally amongst colleagues of a similar mindset, with whom we've all worked together for a long time and know each other well enough to know they won't be offended...never with new colleagues, anyone we're not familiar with and most certainly if we've been asked not to (although I can't say the later has ever happened). Mind your own business, get on with your own work, engage with your colleague on a professional basis only, and grow up.

Wondering how the op is enjoying all the banter aimed at her

I'm calling troll. No way this is for real.

Op look up gaslighting....it's a well known abusive technique and guess what phrase features heavily ?? " If you can't take a joke then theres a problem with you".....I would seriously seriously look at your own behaviour

When I managed large teams.....this would land you in a disciplinary faster than you could whine " but I didn't mmeeaann it"

Assuming this is a reverse get yourself to HR with a complete list of dates and stuff said to you and make a formal complaint of bullying. Sorry that you have to work with such ignorant and nasty colleagues

Do you work in my office op? Unfortunately this does happen and it's happening in my office ATM. I can't believe the similarities and they also say it's 'banter'.

What has it got to do with you her working extra hours? If that's what she wants to do that's up to her. YABU.

Even on the assumption that this is real (it's not), what exactly are you asking? Why have you bothered posting such nonsense? If it were just "banter" you'd have nothing to be worried about with HR as you claim to be, so that means you know it's bullying which is why I really don't get why you're here.

Anyway, if it's real then I hope you either grow up and apologise or you get fired soon.

OP you sound horrible! I feel sorry for your colleague.

Yep if I were her I'd be going to HR straight away. You don't know her from Adam you are extremely unprofessional. I'd want you removed from the office with that language/abuse.

People who use the word "banter" always seem to be missing half of their brain.

How can you think this behaviour is appropriate in a professional context?

Banter is only banter when all parties are happy with it. When they are not it is bullying. I have been bullied at work which started out under the guise of banter. I had comments about how hard I work. It made my life a misery and would go home crying. Less than 2 years on I have been promoted and those same bullied are asking for my help to progress themselves.

If you worked for me I'd sack you on the spot.

Calling someone pussy is not bullying!

Yes it is. You're nasty.

I am so not jealous of her - she's older than me, quite chubby and she ain't no oil painting

You are clearly so obtuse that you didn't even realise that people meant that you are jealous of her professional ability. You sound like a waste of space in that office. I hope she reports you.