My DH doesn't share

[AliceInReality]

I don't know if this is the right title. I don't even know what I'm asking for. I've name changed and I can't really say anything important or it will give me away but here goes.

We once had a kitten and DH hated the attention it needed and the attention I gave to it. He didn't make me take it away but I couldn't trust him to feed her if I wasn't there so I gave her to a friend.

I used to have friends round and my sister over but he couldn't stand that either. He never did anything completely outright - sometimes he wouldn't speak to them if they said hi, he'd let me know he was upset I was putting them ahead of us. After two years of marriage I realise I have no true friends and I've not seen my sister in years.

His son used to live with us but he I feel he did everything to push him away too.

I don't know why he's like this or why I haven't seen it before. Do any of you have experience of Simone like this and how did you cope?

Op I hope for the sake of the 12 yr old boy that this isn't true.
You should not have children with this man- I think you all need help.

i dont believe she is a troll at all. just becuase something falls so far outside your experience and credulity doesnt make it not true or make the op a troll if you think that then hit the report button gemxo

I'm at a loss for words really. If you have a child with this man and encourage him to be 'detached' from him/her, then you are will fully setting up this child for all sorts of self esteem issues. Detachment is a form of neglect and abuse and the fact that you think doing this for money is fine makes things a whole lot worse. Let's not even get into the fact that your DH could physically and emotionally abuse the child as he does your DSS and you, because that would mean you would be actively allowing him to do this by having a baby with him.

I do feel sorry for you in some respects because I honestly think you have huge mental health issues yourself, but what sort of a life would a child have with both parents having such vast mental and emotional issues? Your selfishness and utter blindness to the situation are astounding and your obsession with staying with an abusive man for his money is pretty vile to be honest. I don't like putting people down, but I truly feel that it's the children here that need protecting more than you as you are choosing to stay with him despite all that you have been told. :(

Whether this is real or not, OP, you are sick. And as for your revolting husband, who is allegedly a Christian: get fucking real. If your husband believes in Jesus, he should know that Jesus would hit the fucking roof over this.

As long as the thread stands, I'll give the OP the benefit of doubt.

And who knows, maybe it helps someone reading the thread.

This is all horrific if true.

I hope to God you are making this crap up

Well his blaming you surely tells you everything you need to know? You said you wanted to see how he reacted being away. What do you think now?

He's worried he's lost DSS forever and is feeling miserable about it.

Oh come on! He witnessed a 12 year old boy be anally raped by an adult and didn't even bother to check he wasn't haemorrhaging to death let alone see if perhaps he needs some form of help. Instead he shrugged his shoulders and muttered about how if it is his own fault for being gay.

Did he really expect the boy to welcome him with open arms? Not to mention his grandparents who actually love the boy unlike your husband.

You are being controlled and that is domestic abuse this will only get worse with pregnancy. I personally would be packing bags, you deserve better.

It's scary writing this because I know it goes against what most people think.

This week I've experienced the wrath of my husband but I've also seen his vulnerability. I feel like I've not known him - DD was a way for him to pretend to be strong and hide everything from me. It won't be happening again. I've drawn strength from the comments on this thread and told him I don't want to practice it anymore. It isn't as harmless as I thought. Without it he is just another man and one I don't feel half as afraid of.

What's DD?
I'm glad to hear the DSS is safe and away from your husband.

If you do bring your unborn child into this world then the best thing would be to not let your husband have access. Your role as a mother first and foremost is to protect your child (sometimes having an abortion is the best way to do this).

I'm not sure what you mean op?

DD = domestic discipline.

What the hell is domestic discipline?

The way we practised it DD was where my husband as head of the house could hold me accountable for my actions and use physical discipline where required. It was to help me to be a better wife - submissive to him and prevent the usual stereotypical bad habits wives have i.e. nagging or putting down the husband. And likewise it was meant to help him be a better leader and guide us spiritually.

I felt it made me feel less anxious at the time but over the years I've become more scared of not pleasing my husband. I think I saw him as more of God than a real man and I'm not going to let that happen again.

We did see DSS on the GP's terms and for what is is worth DH feels terrible now.

im so pleased to read your update op. DD is just a form of abuse and control no matter how you dress it up.

keep thinking. keep posting. x

What the ever loving fuck?

Jesus. This is chilling to read. This man is a monster, you need to get away from him NOW otherwise your child will suffer immensely.

And this is why I'm glad I don't believe in God! Why did you ever agree to a relationship like that?

OP What about him trying to be a better husband? A healthy relationship works both ways (without the fear and violence).

Why would he be in charge? You're an adult just as he is. The church even took out the obey vow from their wedding ceremonies.

Oh dear OP. I know it's hard but you asked for advice. You asked whether anyone had had experiences like this, and how did they cope? They coped by leaving and they are strongly advising you to leave too. Your recent update makes me think that you are living in a time warp. That is something from the past. Men and women have been equals (well... sort of...) for several years now. Why would you ask for advice if you are going to blatantly ignore it, therefore putting yourself and your unborn child in danger?

This whole situation is beyond messed up. I don't even know where to begin.

OP can you clarify what exactly it is about this man, this relationship, that is actually worth saving? Because from reading your posts I cannot fathom it at all.

And I sincerely hope you are not keeping any baby that might or might not exist. Both of you sound completely inappropriate as parents.