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Original poster

Who does what in your house? Am I a MUG

144 replies

Ginger1972 · 01/08/2017 23:03

Ongoing battles!
My DH earns £60k per year! Works 30 hours running a successful business. I know that's a lot! We do have a huge mortgage of £1200 per month and also huge bills! He is a spender
I earn a massive £13k and work part time 😢 I pay the council tax, insurance, tv licence and buy most of the food.

DH does absolutely zilch around the house! Not even emptying the kitchen bin.
I am constantly moaning as I do pretty much everything! He does cook on occasions and is brilliant at that! My 9yr old son is becoming helpful as he is being encouraged by me!
DH said if I earnt as much then we would split the jobs!
DH lays in bed until 9.30 every weekday morning whilst I walk the dog, get child ready for school, take child to school. DH gets 2 cups,of tea in bed (he does appreciate this). Weekends he is in bed until lunchtime
I really can't keep on top of the housework! I take my son to his sport training 4 eves a week.
Who does what in your house?
Does it come down to who earns more does less?
And.......he wouldn't make me a cuppa yesterday when I asked!!
I get 2 per yr! Birthday and Mother's Day!,,,,

Am I just a mug or what!!,?

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 01/08/2017 23:05

DH said if I earnt as much then we would split the jobs!

He's a pig.

Do you work the same number of hours as he does?

Original poster

Ginger1972 · 01/08/2017 23:06

I work about 25 hours per week but it's very flexible and I do get lots of time off. Lol to pig!

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 01/08/2017 23:07

Over the years I've earned more, less and nothing at all. We've never split the housework anything other than equally. I did a little more when I worked part time and dh did everything when I was ill. Money just doesn't come into it.

WonderWhippet · 01/08/2017 23:08

Jesus, he sounds awful.

Would getting a cleaner help ie if I was walking dogs and looking after kids and working, I would use some of the money to pay a cleaner. You need down time.

IrritatedUser1960 · 01/08/2017 23:11

He can fuck right off I would not stand for that misogynistic behaviour. I was the breadwinner in my marriage (now divorced) and still did ALL the housework and gardening "becasue i am so good at it".
He took a hike pretty quick.

MiniMum97 · 01/08/2017 23:11

Just because he earns more than you does not mean you are his servant. It's his home too and his children and the chores etc should be split fairly. How much he earns is irrelevant. Why should you run yourself ragged while he lays around in bed!!!!

BackforGood · 01/08/2017 23:13

It's got nothing to do with how much you earn.
At various times during our marriage I've earned more than dh, he's earned more than me, and for several years he wasn't earning anything, but that has nothing to do with the amount of work you each do around the house.
As you are both working part time (you only seem to do 5 hours less than him from what you've posted) then you can both contribute fairly evenly and still both get lots of 'down time'.

BastardGoDarkly · 01/08/2017 23:14

You pay all that out of your money and run the entire house?

Don't know about pig, but he's a piss taking arsehole, that won't even make you a brew?!

Original poster

Ginger1972 · 01/08/2017 23:15

I can't afford a cleaner and he won't pay.
Everyone loves him and he is very popular.
He is very generous in treating me well, I get lovely gifts at Christmas!

It's so hard to discuss as he just says "stop moaning"...

OP posts:

Original poster

Ginger1972 · 01/08/2017 23:16

He's now letting off massive farts in bed. Grrrrrrrrr

OP posts:

Redcliff · 01/08/2017 23:18

When me and my husband worked pt we split things evenly - I have mostly earned more than him and its never factored in the who does what discussions. I currently work full time in a well paid job and he is a stay at home dad and we take it turns to get up and make breakfast and have a lie in each on the weekend. He is being totally unfair on you

WonderWhippet · 01/08/2017 23:19

So clearly nothing is going to change is it? His attitude and his arse stinks, I would leave him otherwise this is going to be your life. I would want a lot more and there are many many people out there who would value you more than he clearly does.

Butterandsugar · 01/08/2017 23:20

Stand up for yourself here, stop with making cups of tea/cooking his meals etc until he's willing to take a fair share of household tasks.
How much you earn shouldn't be a factor here

IrritatedUser1960 · 01/08/2017 23:20

If a man kept telling me to stop moaning everytime I had an issue i wanted to bring up I'd be in prison for stabbing him.
A misogynist and patronising too how lovely.

PickAChew · 01/08/2017 23:22

Remind him that if he was single he'd have to do all the fucking jobs, or pay someone to do them all for him, but he doesn't actually earn enough for a 24/7 housekeeper.

AnyFucker · 01/08/2017 23:22

Mug

Original poster

Ginger1972 · 01/08/2017 23:26

Remind him that if he was single he'd have to do all the fucking jobs, or pay someone to do them all for him, but he doesn't actually earn enough for a 24/7 housekeeper.

Good point....

OP posts:

musicalmama · 01/08/2017 23:26

I don't get why couples who live together happily with their child don't split their money equally then it's never a case of who pays what it's all the same and you share your quality of life. If you work 5 hours less then you should do 5 hours more housework etc so you each have the same amount of downtime, not Because he earns more! He sounds very arrogant.

RidingWindhorses · 01/08/2017 23:36

I can't afford a cleaner and he won't pay

Stop cleaning then. (Yes you are a mug - why do women do this?)

Nainer123 · 01/08/2017 23:37

What the hell does money have to do with the house work? And he averages out at working 1 hour more than you a day. He's taking the piss. What a spoiled arse

AdelicaArundel · 01/08/2017 23:38

How much cleaning up does he do after the "brilliant" cooking?

Any chance he does this brilliant cooking when there is an audience of friends or family?

Smeaton · 01/08/2017 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WarwickAlice · 01/08/2017 23:53

Is this a joke?! He really behaves like that and you really put up with it??

Mrskeats · 01/08/2017 23:53

Mug yes
My dh earns over 100k and I earn half that
However we split the house jobs as that's nothing to do with who earns what
I own the house though so maybe I will start charging rent

RoseOfSharyn · 02/08/2017 00:06

I wanna kick him in the bollocks on your behalf.

I am a full time carer for my 2 disabled DC so I don't 'work'. my OH who doesn't live with me earns around 80k.

He STILL helps me round the house. He Does the school run at times. He baths them and Puts them to bed if I am out with friends. They aren't even his children.

But he does this anyway. And he enjoys time with his 'step children', because, you know what, there isn't a job in this world as hard as raising children and running a house, and he GETS IT!

Your 'D'H is a freeloading arsehole.

I'm so sorry OP. Have my first LTB.

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