It's not my necklace

[Foolmeoncefoolmetwice]

Hi I'm new here and I don't usually do forums but I just don't know where else to ask about this now. I've been sitting on it so long and I think I might be going a bit mad

I hope this isn't too long. Backstory is husband and I have been together 9 years, we have a 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter, he's a good husband and consistent if a bit distant father due to his long hours. No real problems with us aside from the occasional grind of general family life, although we did work through an incident of him kissing another woman when DS was a baby and he sent some flirty texts to a colleague too but it was years ago.

About a month ago my husband went on a business trip, gave me the address of the place he was staying and I didn't bat an eye, he goes on them several times a year, usually a couple of nights at a time. Day after he came back he went to work as usual and rang me from the office in a panic asking if he'd left his debit card at home. It wasn't here and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen it.

I had the idea of calling the hotel to ask if they'd found it cleaning, the lady on reception was very nice and said 'oh mrs X you must be calling about your necklace, we found it In the bathroom how lucky for you it would have been such a shame to lose such lovely pearls!' I didn't know what to say really and my mind went sort of numb, so I just said thank you and could they possibly post it to me since I was several counties away and she said fine.

So it was posted to my house. I have it in the bedroom, it's a beautiful string of real pearls, it looks like something a queen would wear. I haven't said a word about it to him. Whenever I think about it I get all dizzy and feel I might be sick but I don't know why, it's been a long time since I've had any suspicions about him. I don't know if I want to know but it's making me crazy. I also don't know if I could break up our family, the thought makes me want to vomit.

I don't even know what I'm asking really. I know my head is in the sand but I honestly don't know what to do.

I hope your mother will support you this time. If not, please go to someone that will.

What a despicable man. Tighten your finances. Eurgh that's made my blood boil just reading that let alone what you must have found.

I do think he may have been using prostitutes with the withdrawals and hotels etc but either way it's all 😷!

So glad you have the evidence OP. As much as it's going to hurt please stay strong.

I hope you left those pearls on the side along with a note saying that his clockwork wife has no more fucking time for him...

Foolme I'm so so sorry for how you must be feeling right now but you did the right thing. You HAD to find the truth and it's enabled you to leave. Well done ☺
Are you sure your mother is the best person to be with right now though? After your previous revelations about your upbringing and her excusing his cheating last time. Plus blaming it on your illness too!
Love and hugs to you and the children.

Well done getting into the drawer. And well done on going to your mums too.

Well done. You've been really brave

I'm sorry to read this update...

for you OP, you might not feel it now, but you are well rid of the fucker.

He thought he was smart, eh? Fucking fucker!

I'm so sorry op
Atleast you know the truth now.
This man isn't worth it

So sorry to hear your latest update.
Stay strong

I'm so sorry things were the way they are. Wishing you strength.

Photos are fine.

So sorry to read the update. You must be devastated. Stay strong.

So sorry - sounds like prostitutes or meet ups from sex sites please get tested for STDs.

Disgusting controlling lying thieving cheater depriving his DC and the mother of his DC - stealing family money to fund his habits.

He doesn't know yet I've gone while he's at work. Pics have name account and dates on them

Oh god, that's terrible OP, I hope your mum is more supportive this time.

Glad to hear you've finally summoned the courage to open the drawer. I feel for you, I hope that in 12 months time you'll view this as the best thing that could have happened to you. Nobody should be with a man who will call them a clockwork wife.

Oh OP

I hope their is some relief in finding that it wasn't all in your head. Your gut was right and you did well to trust it.

*there

I'm glad you found the courage to leave but I am sorry for what you found. Stay strong. You deserve better .

So sorry, it's an awful time but you're doing the right thing. Look after yourself.

Oh OP I'm sorry but so glad you've had chance to get or whilst he is at work.

I'm sorry to hear that things have got even worse. I sincerely hope your mother will support you now

I'm so sorry. At least the second guessing is over. Look after yourself and your children, and I hope he is suitably contrite when he realises that you have found his stash.

If you feel strong enough, get some legal advice ASAP to stop him hiding more money. You will need that for you and the children.

Well done OP. You've shown such courage, and are on a path to a better life already. Your mum will support you through this, and I'm so sorry you ended up with such a rotter. This will very much be his loss and not yours. Photos are just fine as evidence.

Sorry that you have been dealt such a shit hand. Some men are just ....shit. Take your time to plan your next move and try not to play your hand to soon. Get all your ducks in a row and hit him where it hurts.

I seem to have lost the thread of this, OP. You come from another country but your mum has also come to UK?

Aside from that, because DM has not supported you in the past she may take this opportunity while you are with her to try to persuade you to return to your H and paste over the cracks in your marriage.