It's not my necklace

[Foolmeoncefoolmetwice]

Hi I'm new here and I don't usually do forums but I just don't know where else to ask about this now. I've been sitting on it so long and I think I might be going a bit mad

I hope this isn't too long. Backstory is husband and I have been together 9 years, we have a 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter, he's a good husband and consistent if a bit distant father due to his long hours. No real problems with us aside from the occasional grind of general family life, although we did work through an incident of him kissing another woman when DS was a baby and he sent some flirty texts to a colleague too but it was years ago.

About a month ago my husband went on a business trip, gave me the address of the place he was staying and I didn't bat an eye, he goes on them several times a year, usually a couple of nights at a time. Day after he came back he went to work as usual and rang me from the office in a panic asking if he'd left his debit card at home. It wasn't here and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen it.

I had the idea of calling the hotel to ask if they'd found it cleaning, the lady on reception was very nice and said 'oh mrs X you must be calling about your necklace, we found it In the bathroom how lucky for you it would have been such a shame to lose such lovely pearls!' I didn't know what to say really and my mind went sort of numb, so I just said thank you and could they possibly post it to me since I was several counties away and she said fine.

So it was posted to my house. I have it in the bedroom, it's a beautiful string of real pearls, it looks like something a queen would wear. I haven't said a word about it to him. Whenever I think about it I get all dizzy and feel I might be sick but I don't know why, it's been a long time since I've had any suspicions about him. I don't know if I want to know but it's making me crazy. I also don't know if I could break up our family, the thought makes me want to vomit.

I don't even know what I'm asking really. I know my head is in the sand but I honestly don't know what to do.

Plotting, obvs

Agree with plotting. Op don't forget what you already know.

I was also assuming that the OW must have rung the hotel and must have been told ''we sent them to you already 'mrs unusualsurname''

It does seem like the op doesn't want to press this further with her husband but I understand this. Maybe she needs time to figure out what to do or is willing to stay in this situation. It's not right but it's up to the op as it is her relationship. Telling someone in RL would help a lot. If it was me if have broken the drawers open already but then I am stubborn and sometimes a little dramatic.

I think time is of the essence before the 'D'H hides the money or the evidence although I can understand the OP wanting to avoid the issue for fear of what she may uncover.

OP - Just want you to know that you're being very brave - Well done you with the innocent smiley wife thing!
I wish we (fellow MN's) could come round to your's and help you. I genuinely do!
Btw, do think (as others have said), you should line up a locksmith for Monday am. And copy everything ASAP before putting back.
Also, do you have a close friend or relative to talk to?
But it goes without saying, we're all rooting for you and care very much, xxxxx

PS - And definately start doing something, any bloody thing just for YOU.
Go out for drinks with a friend/s, get dolled up and make you're catch-of-a-husband (NOT) bloody be a Dad and look after his children for once.
My blood pressure is rising just thinking about this effing apology of a man... Sorry OP, another big hug to you, xxxxx

Just one more thing I promise!
Hair removing cream in his shampoo bottle?
xxx

Not sure if anyone has said this but isn't it illegal to take something that doesn't belong to you? If the whole situation with the pearls ended up being innocent and someone eventually contacts the hotel about them then wouldn't it be classed as stealing?

Mumm, yep, it sure is.

If the dh bought the pearls with family money, maybe OP does have a claim on them?

Not sure if anyone has said this but isn't it illegal to take something that doesn't belong to you? If the whole situation with the pearls ended up being innocent and someone eventually contacts the hotel about them then wouldn't it be classed as stealing?

Surely OP would simply explain that as it was only her husband staying in the hotel room she assumed when she spoke to the hotel that he had bought her a gift. If there is any recourse at all I would imagine the hotel would be liable. They told the Op the pearls were found in his room. They sent them to her. She really is just a slightly confused, innocent bystander. Come to think of it the hotel really has been fairly blase with data protection.

That's not answering the question which was "wouldn't it be classed as stealing". The answer to that is yes, I think so. Possibly technically it's fraud rather than theft.

You're answering the question "would the OP get away with this theft?". I agree with you that the answer is likely to be yes.

TBH I think that whether or not OP's possession of the pearls could be classed as theft is the least of her problems OP please try and talk to someone in real life about all this

"But my husband said he'd bought me pearls! They were a gift from my children's father! Who else could they possibly belong to?" (& I'd STILL be tempted to get them valued...)

She didn't take it. She was sent it. She literally had no idea (and technically still doesn't) that it belongs to anyone else.

She didn't commit fraud. She told the hotel that she was Mrs Foolme and she is.

I don't believe this would be classed as theft, just a misunderstanding.

You still about foolme?

Of course it's not bloody theft!
She is not intending to deprive the owner - she doesn't even know who the owner is!
She is 'holding' the property as evidence the owner has wronged her - not the other way round!
FFS

Obtaining property by deception, possibly.

Mandate - she knows it didn't belong to her though, even if she didn't know whose it was. Not a judgement, just adding to your thoughts.

I don't think she should worry about it anyway.

What TeamCersei says......

If you do nothing now after pouring out your heart to MN, you will certainly regret this
His actions and treatment of you are beyond belief in this day and age
He has no respect and certainly no feelings, it's all about him in the most selfish way possible
Please, do not bury your head, it's so sad for you to be treated like this

and bugger the pearls everyone, who cares about who own them,
They are the things that started this whole scenario off

This is minor to all the other shite he's dealing out, but they are important to how this situation started and how OP is going to deal with everything

My card keys stopped working for my Renault so I found a company that came out and made replacement keys at my home. Not this company but similar.

www.theautolocksmith.co.uk/lost-my-car-keys-what-do-i-do/

It cost me around £200 for 2 keys.

The 2 posters who said about ordering replacement keys based on the chamber lock were very clever.

Good luck