Anyone left their DP/DH knowing it was for the best but still being in love with them?

[Ifonlyhewould]

How did you get through it? Was it really for the best?

God, I'm going to be bereft next week - can't MN during the day anymore...

I'm going to go on your fighting thread now and say something in defense of the other woman

Oh gosh, i'm sat here laughing my head off!

I'm so glad we cheer you up MLS. We all cheer each other up! This site has changed my life! How sad is that!!
No need to comment Cash, save it for the 'fight'!!

XX

good day girls i fine thanks cnc. Just stuck in school looking out of the window wishing i was sat outseide

Ring the fire bell Lily, and pay a couple of kids to hide in the loo's, you will be outside for quite a while then xx

might inadvertantly drop that in to a conversation with the kids this aft

Good morning ladies

Ive brought this thread to the fore again, just as a little reminder as to how things can change for the better with a little bit of determination and strength.
Plus, i really don't like it being at the bottom of the pile

Shall we try and have a good day today? XX

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That is absolutely great GUM! i am so happy for you and so happy that you are having success with it too. i do get a bit worried that some people might think I'm nuts! which I am of course but thats a different story .

Hey, maybe I should write a book!! You could be my case study!

have a lovely day GUM and keep up the good work. Don't let things slip now, the longer you keep at it the easier it becomes and the more effect it has!!! xx

Fantastic Gum. Agree iohw positive things today it's nearly the end of the school day and i am not back in until Thur . I am looking forward to a bottle or ten of wine tommorrow at mil barbecue and then a steaming hangover on Sunday when fil will cook Sunday lunch. Then depending on weather we will have day out with kids on Mon maybe Chester zoo. What you ll got planned ?

That all sounds lovely Lily. Apart from the hangover bit

No plans here (as per usual) but I'm sure I will be up to something with DD. We never have a dull moment

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What a lovely post GUM. Things seem to be going really well for you at the moment and i'm delighted!! It's a shame you don't have room for a freezer but a good feed is just as good enjoy your meal!!

Lovely to see so many faces on here today.

Great news GUM and such lovely posts. Hopefully that happiness and positivity will continue for all of us!

xx

hello all hope you all had good wee/end? I have my computer back yey!! Know i know how iohw felt about freezer!

havent caught up properely but i will once mocha hits the brain cells!

Back home having a restful day Anybody done/ doing anything nice. Is the gate up iohw ?

Hi Lily

Oooh the gate is up. DP is just putting me up some trellis at the side. I am having such a loverlee time Even I am amazed at the turnaround in the situation. I'm pleased to report that I am also getting phonecalls when he is going to be late, he is actually asking if I mind him going off here there and everywhere before he goes and, he texted me just to say 'Thank you'. That little text made my day and I'm going to keep it on my phone forever!! I replied with 'Thank you for being considerate', so I hope he recognises that even though I'm still keeping up my guard i am appreciating his efforts. I'm not about to stop doing what i'm doing anytime soon!

I'm just popping off to do my online supermarket shop but will be back on to catch up later.

I hope everyone has alovely day even though the weather is not so good. Ive slathered on the fake tan again so I look fantastic Well, if MLS can brag about her gorgeousness.............XX

Cashncarry - if you are reading this ive sent you an email in reply to yours. I did get yours on friday but i'm not sure you are getting mine. let me know xx

IOHW that is fantastic news. Small steps that are getting bigger. It will take him time as he will have to learn to be considerate towards you again i suppose. But cannot believe the turn around i really can't. That is exactly why a relationship is never over until you both decide to stop working at it. Are you on msn r/e fabulous / glamorous tour as you sound like you will fit in perfectly

it is good Lily. But it does make me think about how much I may have been contributing to my own problem (iyswim) If this is how he is reacting to my withdrawing but generally being happy and not miserable then, maybe he felt just as unhappy as I did, maybe seeing me happier is making him happier and making him want to put some effort in.

Its either that or the gel bra

Great news IOHW. I am smiling so much reading your last couple of posts. I'm so so pleased for you.
Keep it up though! He has a LOT of work to do before he's even close to deserving the 'full' you, mentally and physically in every way. You'll know when and if that time is ever right.

Good for you! You're my hero!

xx

Thank you MLS

Don't worry, I intend keeping it up. It sounds a bit daft but I feel a bit shy around him. When he looks at me is if he is waiting for me to 'soften' towards him (can't think of the expression i need) I start blushing. IYKWIM. Like when you are out and you realise someone is intersted in you. I'm enjoying this stage but I'm not ready to take it to the next one just yet. Like you say, he has a LOT to prove and quite a way to go yet. He also has to get to know the new me because he is never going to see the old me again!

Well, I am now the proud owner of a new gate and a trellis to the side. He has done a fantastic job. So now i'm flitting between running out to have a look at my freezer AND my gate

I hope everyone else's bank holiday weekend was a good one. xx

mmmm still thinking what you could do with a gate and trellis

IOHW hope everything ok things looking a little quiet! Hope you haven't got stuck in the freezer

Hi Lily

No room for me in the freezer, all space reserved for 'mince'

Ive just been on MSN adding my twopenneth

It feels a bit strange now giving advice to 'our gang', like we have to be really polite and respectful it's harder to be harsh to a real face! But i've given it a go

I was wondering if we should start a 'Glamourous and Fab Members' thread so we can call upon each other when need be. Just a suggestion, saves us hijacking threads or losing each other at a crucial time. What does anyone else think?

Just a piece of useless information but.... ive been selling my library of relationship books on amazon, i have loads!! Since last wednesday i have sold 45 books!!!!! All realtionship issue/problem solving books apart from 3 cookery books. And I thought it was only me keeping Amazon in business. I feel like putting a compliments slip in each package with MN website on it!

Glad you still alive then IOHW. I think that's a great idea about the thread then saves hi jacking. I know what you mean i posted on MLS thread last night saying it has now become a slight cross over between mn friends who have no idea who we are and rl friends. Was just glad that no one recognised each other in the photos.
OMG at the books cannot believe you owned so many! Did any of them work?

i read that many Lily I can't remember what any of them said!!!!
Yes, some of them were very helpful but, in hindsight some were also harmful. You tend to relate to some of the things they say and this can have a tendancy to escalate your thoughts a little. After all the expense of the books it was coming on here that finally did it for me. It was being able to talk about and think about real life that did. The books are very one sided, they see the reader in the 'vicitm' sense but, what I came to realise is that I have to take some responsibilty for the way DP treats/was treating me because I was, in a way allowing it. I also realised that I had sunk into a depression, a victim status. When I decided not to be a victim, thats when things turned around for me

One of the reasons I started the gratitude thread is for inspiration. It sounds awful but ive spent that long concentrating on DP's faults and bad points i've really lost sight of what his good points are. I have cancelled them all out with bad points. Ive reached a stge now where I want to see him in a positive light, I want to give him credit for the good things he does.

I think its a good sign that I'm making progress!! I might write my own book!!