30 days no contact

[Songbird86]

Hi all!

Just want to share this because it might be helpful to some of you also experiencing a break up. I have nearly completed 30 days no contact post-break up. (I didn't even know this was a thing until I frantically Googled "how to get your ex back" the minute we'd split)

Not texting or calling him to beg and plead, say "I miss you" and "let's make this work" has, for the first time, left me with my dignity in tact. I gracefully bowed out. And whilst I think of him almost 24 hours a day, I don't act on it. I miss him, but have realised through this process that we were not right for each other and I was hanging onto what the relationship could have been, not what it actually was.

I kept a journal of this experience over the past month and what a ride it's been. It's been really tough to say the least but I am so proud of myself for getting through this. Next 30 days: here I come!

I recommend no contacting for anyone struggling with a break up, no matter which if you ended it.
Xx

Oh bless you love x Sounds awful. I'm so sorry the police haven't taken this more seriously. I really hope you're getting some support from Women's Aid

I do have some injuries but the officer said they could have come from this or that, basically there was a bit of a scuffle of me trying to break free so they said could have been accidental or could have caused them myself during the scuffle. They said would be hard to prove he caused them. Sorry to be so vague just really concerned about outing myself.
The police are pushing me to take it further but they aren't filling me with confidence.
Women's aid were great so understanding not at all patronising or judgemental I'm so glad I called them they're much more supportive than the police.
They have referred me to the freedom project but unfortunately They don't have space for me until September but at least it's something to aim for.
Trying to keep positive.

You sound amazingly strong. You'll get through this and you and your DC will be alright, just have to keep going.

I've been where you are now. It makes my blood boil that this is happening to so many women and those blokes just get away with it over and over again x

I'm on day 8 of no contact, struggle a few times but keep looking at my list to remind myself why I'm doing this. He contacted me a few days ago just saying 'I hate this', I didn't respond and deleted. Typical him though, a message all about him.
Keep going everyone, we can do it and remember we deserve better.

Violetcharlotte my ex sounds just like your ex, we deserve better and nicer treatment. Good luck, you're doing so well.

Thanks for all those posts . I'm so relieved that it's not only me who feels sad and struggles I deleted phone number what's app and determined not to open a face book . I try to be reasonable about not allowing smth that even wasn't there to break my heart in 2 .

Good work ojojoj
It's fucking hard, I've been reading about the chemicals in the brain oxytocin
If we can keep away for long enough the urge to see them will go
I hope!!
8 days now...

I googled it . It really makes sense the brain is addicted that's crap I though some people avoid it but obviously not

Well at least it makes you realise that there is an end
And that you can get through it!

Hi everyone . Posted a long thread in aibu and relationships about a friend who I have slept with a couple of tImes and after him doing all the running , flattery, charm etc has basically dumped and ignored me after sex. Really miss him, finding it so hard not to contact him but have managed 1 day today which is big for me. I miss him, the attention, being wanted. He was so into me red hot in fact as literally as soon as sex was over he went ice cold and said he has a lot of mental stuff to deal with and doesn't think he can give me what I want but he still wants me to be in his life . So basically he's used me, kicked me to the curb but thrown a crumb that he likes me enough not to stop all contact. Wants me dangling for when he's ready to come back and pull me back in and play with me again. Feel wretched and really thought maybe we could have gone somewhere together

Rejectedwomam
Welcome!
We are all in similar boats in varying degrees

Also maybe namechange I hate writing that name out! It's not kind to yourself
And good luck on day one!
We can all do this
I hope everyone else is ok

Morning another day of mental fight with myself . Ah have a good day everyone stick to your guns

Trying to get to lunchtime without contacting him. Then go from there.

Hello. May I join you? I got dumped on Tuesday afternoon by my bf of one year. We had just gotten back from a fabulous holiday. The reasons he gave were that he was struggling more and more after we said goodbye (we didn't live together and no prospect of that), and he was worried about the future. He said it was the worst breakup of his life as he's deeply in love with me but just can't do it any more.
So at the moment I am still really really shocked and I was numb. Now the pain has crept in and at times it's unbearable. Like another poster said, I've gone through some hard times and he was my special thing. I'm terrified about how I'm going to fill my time, and about how I'm going to find the mental energy to drag myself out of this pit.
I messsaged him last night as he was really in a state when we split - I just wanted to know he was ok. He said he was and asked if I was. I said not so much, but that I'd be alright. We wished each other the best.
Devastated. This is Day 1

Hi ladies
Another one here who would like to join!

I posted a thread recently "I must be mad"
My situation is very similar to yours Rejectedwoman
They love a text crumb!

He clearly doesn't want me or care about me but every time he texts I go running!

Here's to a long day 1.....

Welcome!
Text crumbs seem to be the thing for them. And they will be back that much I know

Things that have helped me so far:
Deleting Facebook completely
Swimming (or any other type of excercise) I don't think about him when I am doing it
Not drinking as much

Things I've not managed to do
Generally stalking all other forms of social media
Blocking him
Deleting him

Gin - I've not managed to block or delete yet either
Luckily I don't use social media and neither does he so that's one less thing to worry about!

Good on you for what you have managed though... .... must stop using wine as a means of distraction in the evenings! Oops....

for numb

Also aiming to not drink. I've hit the bottle hard the last 2 nights.
I haven't blocked or deleted yet.
And I can't face deleting the hundreds and hundreds of photos just yet
It still all feels like a bad dream

I still drink! Just trying not to get twatted and send a drunken email/text
I deleted all emails and texts, can't do photos yet. Though I haven't looked at them in a long while

Yes... guilty of the drunken texting!

I deleted everything everything possible even if I wanted I couldn't have texted him now. He is a selfish manipulating cunt I devoted my whole year too. He managed to get me getting my guard down and then lovebombed me too fuck . I'm angry that's he would say things like you are too good for me . Damn right I'm too good I'll never enter his name in Facebook search box I'm better than that

Good for you ojojoj
You are better than that
We all are

Can I just say that Day 1 is absolute hell. I am barely functioning. I have to be really careful even just crossing the road. I'm in a fog. I couldn't handle the shops at lunchtime. I can't eat. Just grim.

It gets better, right?

Molly
It'll get better!!