30 days no contact

[Songbird86]

Hi all!

Just want to share this because it might be helpful to some of you also experiencing a break up. I have nearly completed 30 days no contact post-break up. (I didn't even know this was a thing until I frantically Googled "how to get your ex back" the minute we'd split)

Not texting or calling him to beg and plead, say "I miss you" and "let's make this work" has, for the first time, left me with my dignity in tact. I gracefully bowed out. And whilst I think of him almost 24 hours a day, I don't act on it. I miss him, but have realised through this process that we were not right for each other and I was hanging onto what the relationship could have been, not what it actually was.

I kept a journal of this experience over the past month and what a ride it's been. It's been really tough to say the least but I am so proud of myself for getting through this. Next 30 days: here I come!

I recommend no contacting for anyone struggling with a break up, no matter which if you ended it.
Xx

French group sounds great!

Very hard to be held at arms length, or is he secretly doing 30 day NC too?!

At least I am now properly NC. Day 11.

Hi! Yes thinking about the birthday people too?

Is he still refusing to meet talked? He's not letting you go is he? Or committing either. I'm sorry that must be so hard.

Mine is keeping well away and I'm trying not to worry that I feel devastated that he's not wanting me back. I'm hoping my feelings will pass. He did offer help on Friday though, I just said no. I'm properly NC now though, our paths do not cross. That's probably good.

Today I'm dying for his help. Older son very sick, mess everywhere, younger one very demanding. I have no life! Aargh! But I'm being strong. Ex woukd be here in an instant but then all that NC would be gone. He loves helping when I'm struggling but it just gets used against me later. He'll say I know you need me, sorry I can't be with you though. And I hate him for reminding me that he has the power and I feel helpless! Not this time.

Hi all, have just got back from a 3 night trip with my sister. Much needed break. Would recommend if you have the chance though I know this is not always easy. I'm on day 24 NC today so the end is in sight. Though his birthday is Tuesday so still not sure what to do re that!
Contact from his side is increasing now so getting more difficult. I actually feel really bad for ignoring him!
Hope you are all doing well anyway. Have been keeping up with all your posts x

I like the thank you very much!

Wow toria you are doing really well! Yes two weeks to go for weekend away myself. Birthdays... tricky. I do think, if he really wants to get back with you, you've done him a huge service by giving him a clear space to think about what he really wants.

Good luck miracle

Yes good luck miracle and welcome

Day one
AGAIN
birthday was this weekend, I got the call, I miss you etc
The today was totally odd with me. When do you know you're actually done. I mean how much can someone keep coming back and then letting you down. How do I always end up taking it.
I feel so ashamed that I always think "this time he means it for real"

I'm afraid I kept really busy, but sat down for half an hour to watch TV but just suddenly felt very alone. I ended up switching off the program.

Day 14. I think. Eurghhhh...

worried sorry he was so missing you then so weird. It's a head wreck!

miracle I'm impressed you deleted him from your inbox. Good for you. Like your positivity.

Tomorrow is hairdressers though, coffee, long run and watching dr foster! Let's just keep going.

Maybe I just need to try and meet someone else. I don't feel ready
But it might force me to move on
Evenings are hard, weekends are hard. Fucking hell I am just feeling very bloody sorry for myself today

I'd love to get to a place where I could be arsed to meet someone else. Two months in now and feel like I am going around in circles. I'm getting more annoyed and frustrated with myself as time goes on.

I can't seem to re-engage with my life properly.
I keep signing up to pof, get chatting with a bloke or three, getting mithered, and deleting again.
I know I'm not in the right place but the boredom, loneliness and heartache are a lot to contend with.
Added to that, I'm living with my ex-h and the stress of that is very heavy on me at the moment.

I am of course v clear in my head that my relationship was lifting me out of that particular hell, and now I am dumped straight back into the bowels of it.

Gah!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks I am holding chin very high!

It definitely helps reading your posts, even though I'm quite sorry for myself I know I'm not alone in it! miracle you seem quite strong at the moment, that's brilliant, seem to be getting a plan, even daily, about how to get through.

molly I hear you! Very difficult when their presence is still around too. I'm not sure how possibke it is until we are living in different places. I tried POF too... I actually hate it but am making myself. Can only bear it for 5-10 minutes a day, and being a bit remote the catches are not great! And I sent someone my photo and they didn't reply... cheek! I'm gorgeous! Of course don't feel gorgeous at all. :-( in fact the man who didn't reply reminded me of HIM. Dynamic, good job, interesting... aaarghh after someone younger...
worried I know. Natural to feel crap. A lot of forcing involved!

Birthday done. I didn't message. Got very close. Even to the point where I typed out a message twice then deleted it. I feel mean and guilty for not wishing him a happy birthday but day 26 today and I really didn't want to give in now.

I think I'm going to stay off the dating websites for now.
I've done it previously when we've split and it just made me feel worse when they didn't compare. The distraction can be good though if you have someone else to text.
Hope you are all ok this evening

@Toria28
Well done! That's amazing progress

Feeling a bit better tonight. Work is v busy & a great distraction.
When I'm feeling better about things I know I just need to give myself an almighty kick up the arse and get back into my yoga, rejoin meetup, and get going again.
Chin up and onward!! 👊🏻