30 days no contact

[Songbird86]

Hi all!

Just want to share this because it might be helpful to some of you also experiencing a break up. I have nearly completed 30 days no contact post-break up. (I didn't even know this was a thing until I frantically Googled "how to get your ex back" the minute we'd split)

Not texting or calling him to beg and plead, say "I miss you" and "let's make this work" has, for the first time, left me with my dignity in tact. I gracefully bowed out. And whilst I think of him almost 24 hours a day, I don't act on it. I miss him, but have realised through this process that we were not right for each other and I was hanging onto what the relationship could have been, not what it actually was.

I kept a journal of this experience over the past month and what a ride it's been. It's been really tough to say the least but I am so proud of myself for getting through this. Next 30 days: here I come!

I recommend no contacting for anyone struggling with a break up, no matter which if you ended it.
Xx

I'm going through a breakup my partner walked out last week after I found him on online sex sites.been together 8 years have 1 son...i feel broken how do i move on.i love him so much it hurts.but I don't want him back..i just need to know how I can be strong 😢

Haven't posted in a while but just to say I'm on day 8 (again...)! Determined to get to day 39 this time.

I can't get through a day how do you do it

Day 30 for me . I have to admit I would never ever be able to manage without this thread . I feel free completely free now . I think I will give a serious relationship a miss for now

I feel trapped all sorts of emotions going on atm

I've name changed but was on here before as ginloving lady

Day 3 again. All very complicated but this is now mutual so I really don't have any excuse.
Having a small meltdown about it all
Funnily I thought it was hard when he kept coming back to me. But now he doesn't want to it's actually bloody harder.
Struggling a lot
Maybe it's wrong, but I perhaps wanted him to keep contacting me

I've had lots of meltdowns in the last week I'm finding it hard that he's blaming me for what he's done .I'm gonna give this no contact a go...

I was doing so well until he phoned me last night drunk telling me he loves me. I just want to cry.

Why do they do that I don't think I will ever understand men

Hey x

How do i give no contact a go whilst living together, with a DC in the mix too?

Lots in terms of a backstory but he said he didn't want to be with me and is making no effort.

Now he cant decide whether or not we will work...Feels like I have been in limbo forever. Im so confused :(

Hi all waves

End of Day 10 for me, although he did turn up on my doorstep last week to check why I'd blocked him and wasn't responding to his attempts to phone me using social media. I didn't engage or let him in as I knew what would happen (sex) and that I would be the instigator He told me not to get in contact with him again and I said ok.

I mean it and think I can stick to it (with the support of this thread!) Pretty much all my adult life I've settled for FWB 'relationships', selling myself short. No more. I deserve more and I'm determined to be alone until I can get it.

I am so glad to have come across this thread. I need to do this.

I can speak or message him without being accused of attacking him, accusing or being passive aggressive. It's actually driving me crazy.

The only downside is that we own a property together which I am living in. I guess I could go no contact until it to do with the flat. What do you think?

Mine loves me and I love him but he can't be with me right now because of all the shit going on in his life. I know I need to just block him and move on but it's so hard.

I was on day five and doing great until today when he called. I didn't answer I sent a text message asking him not to contact me again. He replied saying it was harder than he thought and he just needed to hear my voice. I explained the reasons why I couldn't be there for him and at the end of every message I said please do not contact me again.

I'm very angry he contacted me so soon as I really was ok up until that contact, now I'm spending my time thinking about all the things that went wrong and the hurt and upset he caused and for the first time cried today.

Mojoey how are you doing? I'm sorry to read you've been struggling. I hope it gets easier for you, I understand the pain is very real and very destructive.

I'm on day goodness knows how many. I don't think it's been long but it feels like a long time. I currently have a broken phone and have deactivated my Facebook account which if in honest has definitely helped.

When we first spilt up I felt nothing but happiness because I'd managed to leave him ( have posted about the relationship on here numerous times.

I'm finding it harder now because I just can't cope with the loneliness at first everyone was all over the situation now it's almost like everyone thinks i should be over the situation and should of moved on. I signed up to POF very briefly in the hope of making friends. Unfortunately I just couldn't connect with anyone and just kept thinking about my ex.

I also feel nothing but guilt that my ex could potentially be homeless due to the fact I'd been supporting him financially for a year.

Well, I was doing so well this morning until he messaged me. It's so unlike him to message first that I replied.......stupid stupid stupid stupid!

Tomorow is another day I guess. We officially broke up last May but we live together until May this year. Then we tried to make it work but it was never going to. Ultimately nothing I ever do is good enough for him. He decided on Thursday that he had had enough. Tomorrow will be 1 week and I am as hurt as I was last year.

How long will the pain last this time?

I don't know it's very difficult isn't it? We were on and off for a few months and were only together for just under a year. I've never felt pain like it before even after a ten year and four year relationship ended.

I've been texting mine today as I was so angry and upset that he text me yesterday I decided to try to get some answers to see if that helped. I didn't get any answers (he needs to talk to me to explain why he started following a girl fifteen years his junior with silicone breasts whose every post is a bikini shot and I'm refusing to talk)

It's such a simple question I can't understand why the reply would be so complex. He offered to explain in an email to which I declined and suggested the reason could just be that he is a cunt.

There is bigger stuff going on of course now I have to be strong and resist texting him again as I'm going over everything again and again and the hurt is too much

Hi all,
I'm starting day one today! I posted earlier this morning about my situation, which has been going on too long now.
I had to chose to leave this crappy cycle of non commitment which has made it harder. In a way I just wish he would have done it and taken the decision out of my hands.
These posts have made me feel so much better and stronger.

Starting another round of 30 days

I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Some things have changed but I'm still pretty fucked up over the whole thing.

I'm looking at starting over on a new page this Monday. Less blaming of myself. Trying harder to Let Fucking Go.
I recognise that the angsting over it is depleting my resources. And that's not good

Urgh. Is it supposed to get worse before it gets better? I swear I'm getting lower every day. It was actually easier when he kept texting and wanting to talk. Now he's left me alone I'm waiting and hoping bleh.

I'm struggling too today!

for those finding it tough

Mine was long overdue ( a 6-year friends with benefits relationship. The phrase itself is laughable). I feel free and happier. Hearing myself making the same repeated complaints to him made me feel foolish. He'd just listen politely knowing I'd eventually shut up and go back to fucking him sooner or later. Never going back to that.

I'm working hard to meet a deadline and that has distracted me, as well as a goal to get back into shape.

For those finding it difficult, try to focus on the reasons you left not the good times. Keep going everyone

Huge thanks to songbird for starting this thread

Sounds like you're doing so well itsgettingbetter!! I usually try and think of the bad sides, the constant arguments and control and sly digs etc but then I just get more angry that he couldn't be different, as silly as that sounds! When it was good, it was really good so I get frustrated that it couldn't have been like that all the time.

The only thing holding me back from texting him is the fact that all my family and friends are very aware what he's really like now - so it would be an extremely difficult relationship if I did!

I am thinking of joining a gym to take my mind off things. I go back to uni tomorrow so that will hopefully help. I'm definitely off men for a while!

Flip, I am planning on hitting the gym too. Hopefully be a bit of a distraction!
Hope everyone is doing ok today! Sending positive vibes xx