30 days no contact

[Songbird86]

Hi all!

Just want to share this because it might be helpful to some of you also experiencing a break up. I have nearly completed 30 days no contact post-break up. (I didn't even know this was a thing until I frantically Googled "how to get your ex back" the minute we'd split)

Not texting or calling him to beg and plead, say "I miss you" and "let's make this work" has, for the first time, left me with my dignity in tact. I gracefully bowed out. And whilst I think of him almost 24 hours a day, I don't act on it. I miss him, but have realised through this process that we were not right for each other and I was hanging onto what the relationship could have been, not what it actually was.

I kept a journal of this experience over the past month and what a ride it's been. It's been really tough to say the least but I am so proud of myself for getting through this. Next 30 days: here I come!

I recommend no contacting for anyone struggling with a break up, no matter which if you ended it.
Xx

@Rejectedwoman

With great compassion - he doesn't love you. And why does he do those things? Because he doesn't give a toss about you.

It's so difficult, sometimes, not to project our own feelings onto other people and wonder why they don't feel the same way we do.

But they don't.

Oh shit. Things have really come to a head tonight. I'm broken. I'm dying. I don't know where to go. I wish I'd never met him.

Pls and Rejected

It's so bloody hard. But these men are toying with you and you're letting them turn you into shells of yourselves.

Don't let them. Don't feed the trolls

So last night got really messy. I've had threatening texts aimed at me and at my husband. I've always known he had another side to him (he's not the sort you mess with iyswim) but its never been aimed at me like that before. I was genuinely frightened. We don't live in the same town anymore but I dread to think what would have happened if we did. That really was the end for me - obviously. I know I've said it loads but this is different know.

You're all amazing btw.

Oh god Pls This is not someone you want in your life!!!

I'm sorry you had to deal with that & I hope you're ok. Deep breaths

and for everyone on this thread

Christ, Pls, take heed of The obnoxiously huge red flags waving at you. This man is dangerous. I've watched your last few posts and I call HOUSE on Abuser's Bingo. Run. Run far, far away. I'll run with you if you need me to.

So, back to day 1: I ended up at his house last night which wasn't as much of a mistake as some might think, but I'm still back at day one and all hope is gone.

And I'm sad and angry at the univers for its piss poor timing.

DoI Thank you. I really intend to this time. How did I miss this?? I knew he was a Narc but never realised he's actually a full blown sociopath. I'm scared to think how this could have ended tbh.

The texts have continued a bit through the day, but not so threatening, just calling me all the names under the sun and telling me its all my fault etc etc. Obviously I've not replied and I don't intend to. My friend actually called 101 this morning after reading the texts to get further advice. I'm not logging an incident but they have logged the call in case I need to take it further.

So......Day 1 again!! DoI life is shit sometimes. Timing is shit often. Be kind to yourself.

It's the evening. Not contacted in 24 hours. I hurt today. Really hurt :(

Keep going rejected. You're doing amazing. You can do this. You don't need him.

I would usually see him at an event tomorrow. Means now I have to go to a different pub be for and after so I don't see him. Why should I have to do this. But I will feel about an inch big if I go where he is so I have no choice. Husband Is also out drinking tonight which means potential verbal or worse abuse later. Why me. I am not a bad person. Why do they do this :( thanks for all the kind words. X

Cos they're total fucking bastards rejected They get off on this - treating us like shit and knowing we'll just keep coming back. Seriously, read my posts, see how bad it has got for me. Don't do what I did.

I was actually ok today was tempted to check his Facebook but I thought what's the point fuck him

The weekends are the worst. For me, it will be 2 weeks since breakup next Tuesday. The shock is only really starting to lift properly now and I am starting to have moments of clarity when I think "Fuck Him. He's lost someone fabulous".
Mostly I feel really sad though 😑

Day 13

Movedout on the first page on this thread, if you go no contact with someone but still stalk them on social media then I am afraid it is not exactly no contact.

Day 2 here again. I received loads more abusive, threatening texts yesterday morning, but didn't replay and I actually haven't heard from him since. I don't think he's given up, though, tbh, just biding his time. I actually spoke to the police yesterday. I refused to tell them much, as I'm genuinely scared of him now, but have a call logged (minus my name) and a reference number if I need to contact them again. Thats given me piece of mind, and really made me realise how bad this got and how much worse it could have been. I need to remember that. Despite it all, I still think I will struggle if he decides to contact me again. Need to stay strong.

Pls could you block his number? You can see what kind of person he is and thank God you had a lucky escape . It's day 14 for me slowely slowely getting to distance myself being on old helps too for distraction

I'm back ladies... I need you!!
I've been very very stupid. Bumped into him AGAIN at the weekend and he came back to mine. Said we'd missed each other but that we both knew it'll never work between us. He said he would leave me alone so I could move on... then proceeded to tell me he had been thinking about getting back with his ex!! Thanks for that!
I'm just gutted. It's so pathetic. He really has got under my skin. And now I'm back to square 1..for the 100th time..

Hi guys, your all doing great. Its so so difficult.
My ex left me 6 months ago, said he didnt want me or want a future with me.. that his prioty was his new career.
It absolutly broke my heart. I was devestated. A week or so later he said he didnt know what he wanted and maybe we could try again.. a week after that he said he had been on a date with someone else.. i shamefully did the pick me dance. He did pick me.. then decided he wanted to be with this other girl. But carried on making my life fucking hell. Called me awful names regarding my weight and looks. Said his new gf was goegeous and a size 8 and he was so glad he traded me in for her. Splashed all over fb about their new relationship. I blocked him on everything.. he would make fake social media accounts , drive past my house, drive near my daughters school, prank call me on witheld number, barge into my house claiming i was seeing someone else.. all the while he had this happy new relationship. I didnt understand.. i still dont to this day. I dont think i will ever get closure. He would message me claiming i was pranking him on witheld (i wasnt) said i was pathetic because i hadnt moved on. This went on for 2 months. My confidence was rock bottom.. he almost broke me. I.decided i.couldnt let this go on so i did the ultimate NC.. i changed my number. It was the single best thing i could of done. I havent heard from him for a few months, and i can begin healing properly. I started the gym, spent time with friends. Keep busy busy busy ladies xx

Omg Vodka
Unbelievable. You are amazing Keep doing what you are doing!

I'm feeling slightly less shit and look forward to feeling neutral and then on to feeling like myself

Trying to focus on accepting that he had his reasons and he's entitled to them. Acceptance is the big one. I'm not there yet.
Also trying to tell myself about the things I know were not right - as well as the niggly things that annoyed me about him

So I've been invited on a few dates which doesn't hurt the ego..... maybe I will go. I feel very meh at the prospect though

And I can't imagine shagging anyone else just yet

Morning all,

I posted yesterday on 30 days only (help me work this out) about my controlling boyfriend. I've now made the decision to cut him off and I'm really struggling. Yesterday his last text was mid argument saying it will never work because 'my actions' bring out the worst in him. This happens a lot and normally we would argue and argue until we both just cave and forget all about it. This was a common occurrence. But this time, I just thought what am I doing? And so haven't replied.

I don't know how I will cope if he tries again as I already feel bad enough about not replying. I like to have the last word - but he knows that so he will be playing that knowing I will be desperate to reply right now.

Feeling extremely low right now. I go through phases where I remember all the horrible things he's done and feel on top of the world. Then remember all the lovely times we had together and feel like I just want to go running back also can't believe how my head has been so manipulated. Looking back and thinking about how he has changed the way I think, the way I behave and I can't believe I have let this happen to me.

Anyway just wanted to vent really, sorry it's long. I've read all your stories and hope you are all getting on ok.

Back to day one for me. Christ I hope I can stick to it this time.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Been thinking about you Gin. Glad to see you back here.

You're all amazing. We can do this. Mine is actually making life easier since the threats began. He messaged me at 5 this morning to tell me his "new bird" (the 4th this week!) wants to know where I live. He's so stupid he doesn't even realise he's just adding to my case against him every time he gets in touch. He can't stand that he doesnt have control over me anymore.

Keep strong ladies and for those that need it