30 days no contact

[Songbird86]

Hi all!

Just want to share this because it might be helpful to some of you also experiencing a break up. I have nearly completed 30 days no contact post-break up. (I didn't even know this was a thing until I frantically Googled "how to get your ex back" the minute we'd split)

Not texting or calling him to beg and plead, say "I miss you" and "let's make this work" has, for the first time, left me with my dignity in tact. I gracefully bowed out. And whilst I think of him almost 24 hours a day, I don't act on it. I miss him, but have realised through this process that we were not right for each other and I was hanging onto what the relationship could have been, not what it actually was.

I kept a journal of this experience over the past month and what a ride it's been. It's been really tough to say the least but I am so proud of myself for getting through this. Next 30 days: here I come!

I recommend no contacting for anyone struggling with a break up, no matter which if you ended it.
Xx

I miss him so much in between my anger though. Miss him deeply

Rejected
That's the hardest isn't it
Wanting to share what you love together

Have failed badly at no contact. Such a twat

Oh mrsjohn
Sorry
I think the last couple of days seem to have been hard for all of us.

MrsJohn

If my day continues as it has I'll be joining you. Part of me thinks I'vd made a huge mistake, and even if I have it's probably too late.

We need to do what we need to do. Mine has just text me. I know I'll be absolutely crazy to reply but I dont think I can't. I miss him soooo much. The stepping over Tom Hardy thing really resonated with me Molly. Thats still how I feel, and until it goes I think I'm still powerless over him. :-(

DONT REPLY

I would but please someone be stronger than me

He left you hanging for an excruciating amount of time

Aaaaaaah I want to scream sometimes
Why do we let these cunts do this to us

I'm actually just a game to him. So I stupidly replied. I apologised (?) for being a twat and he replied - just forget about it, you confused me and I had to do something to get you to back off!! WTF - he's been doing the chasing. My marriage is literally JUST over. I didnt want someone else. I knew he'd do this - rewrite history to fit his version of events. I actually hate him. I've just replied saying "wtf do you do that - why get back in touch just to remind me its over?" I know it'll make no difference to him, though. What a total absolute wanker. I hate him, so why am I crying over him. Back to square one again.......

He's a cunt
He knows you. He knows how to reel you back in
He knows you're vunerable
He is not being kind to you. Listen to him

I just wrote a long email to mine asking him to please respect me and try and make it easy, what with our joint work.
I have to get out of the loop and the constant chit chat work wise is making me feel mental and he makes me feel like I am unreasonable and angry. Which I am

pls. I think you have to realise you are at your most vulnerable with your split from your dh. I was there last year. Even if you don't love them anymore it's a huge upheaval and all you want is the pain to go away
He will cause you more pain
HE will

Is this guy your h, pls or someone you met afterward?

Try to take a step back... I know how hard it is (((hugs)))

Neither Molly - this is my best friend of 20 years! He told me when I just ended my marriage that he had always loved me. You'd expect him to understand?? If I was worth waiting 20 years for, surely a few more months wouldn't have hurt?? I wish my heart could agree with my head.

PlsTryAnother, I am so sorry you are feeling this way.

I was at the cinema with my children and some friends and I got this massive withdrawal symptom...I missed him SO much...and kept remembering how I was the one who wanted to stop all contact whilst he wanted us to meet up and talk (no sex)...

That feeling has simmered down now but it's so hard as the first few days of indignation pass by.

This is really hurting. He's been texting me all evening but being elusive and not really saying anything. I've just begged him to stay in my life - he's been my best friend forever and I can't lose him. He replied "Not losing anything"!! Can he be any more ambiguous??? I know he's playing me but I can't stop. What the fuck do I do?????

Pls - he is a complete and utter twat. What a horrible man.

Can I join? I need some strength. I guess the difference is we've mutually agreed no contact and I know he's deleted the message app we use.

Like PlsTtyAnother, this is my best friend. But it's never going to happen. He said he'd get in touch in a few weeks, because we both want to maintain a friendship. Who are we kidding? I need to stay away but someone said upthread it's like a drug addiction - that's exactly what it feels like.

But I keep telling myself he could reinstall the app, I should leave him a message just in case (slaps self 🙄). And there's always email...

Day 2 of my withdrawal. It sucks.

See the thing is - I'm not stupid. I'm not a little naive girl who falls for anything. So why does he own me like this??? I feel broken. I want to be better than this but I'm not.

I know how you feel PlsTryAnother. The amount of cryptic sms conservations I've had with my man...I never knew which way the wind was blowing...from heartfelt gentle messages to completely ironic and downright upsetting.

No advice really Pls. Read back your own posts where you know he's playing a game and an abusive wanker. Find a distraction for a few hours. Just get through til bedtime. One day at a time.

I hate who he turned me into......and I hate that he won't love me. Yeah, I need to get through till bedtime. Nearly there. xx

OK. So I've just sent the final it's over message. I hope he realises in the future that he won't do better then me - and thats not me being arrogant, he really wont get better. I hope he loves every day of his life missing me and realising what he lost. I hope when he's fucking dying alone he misses me. He could've had everything, but he chose games. Fuck him.

I feel so so so sad. I messaged him and he read it straight away but didn't even reply. If I tell him I want nothing to do with him he will walk without a backwards glance. But why do this to me. Why ignore me like this. He knows it will be deeply hurting me. He knows I am going through and have been through hell at home . His antics are intensifying the deep pain and sadness I feel. Why leave me having and do this to me. Also means on Saturday I can't go to a certain place I go to as I know he will be there and he obviously doesn't want to have anything to do with me (this week) so I will feel awkward . Not fair

Let him go rejectedwoman. If all he causes you is pain he's not worth it. Read my posts. I'm broken. But I've let him go cos whats the alternative?? It hurts too much. xxx

I really love him so it's breaking my heart to have to let him go by proxy. Xxx