My porn revenge on Dh

[serephine16]

Ok- me 40, dh 44. So a few months back I found out my dh had been on a porn subreddit called gonewild a few times a week for months, which is basically real 18+ something women posting nudes of themselves. I was heavily pregnant and really low in myself, depressed and low self esteem, and in past conversations my dh had reassured me he wasn't the type to look at porn, disagreed with it vehemently to a point where he would get angry if I asked him did he ever use it. So we agreed porn had no place in our marriage. What has effected me the most, besides feeling totally inadequate was his ability to lie so convincingly and easily and it has created a huge trust problem in our marriage and I've struggled with this everyday since. Now to the point of this post- a little while after going through the subreddit he was on and torturing myself I discovered there was a gonewild30plus subreddit which again is women 30 and over posting nudes, so as pissed as I was with him I decided to get my own back and I posted a picture of my own boobs on the 30 plus page and I told him. During the time it was up I got messages and comments and upvotes from men and although I genuinely felt uncomfortable having such an intimate picture of myself on show, I felt very flattered and it upped my self esteem no end. I took the picture down as my Dh went completely crazy, extremely angry, and has said that what I have done is far far worse then him going onto the same type page basically for god knows how long and looking at many different pictures of young woman and lying to me about it. He's so angry he can't even think about it without blowing up. What I'm asking here is, was I completely out of order doing what I did? I genuinely don't think it's as bad as what he did, but am completely open to all your thoughts and opinions.
In hindsight I do realize tit for tat in a marriage is very unhealthy and I regret that aspect of it.

I wonder if they ever feel their souls dying a little every time the journalist does this. "I had dreams of writing for the Times!"

Hallo,

After reading a bunch of these pages I must point out that a lot of you women here are quite gullible and naive if you really think your husband isn't looking at porn.

Newsflash: every guy with an internet connection looks at porn. If you think otherwise, you are wrong and must believe in fairytales.
It's meaningless and we don't tell you because a) you will be jealous b) will nag about it c) we don't want you to feel bad as if you aren't enough, yes you are enough but men have urges, without those constant urges humanity wouldn't exist

So you (OP) posting nudes online because your guy looks at porn is just low. If you wanted revenge you could have done fun things like printing out a bunch of dickpics (preferably same or smaller length than your man) and put it in places he would find it where nobody else would. But no, you had to post your tits online and feel good about the compliments from a bunch of creeps. (Most men just watch and move on, But there a're a bunch of creepy men who post comments all the time). So no you aren't even. You went even and went miles extra. Yes he lied. Big effing deal. You never lied?

Long story short: He didn't tell you because he didn't want you to feel insecure. And what do you do? Post nudes. Ridiculous.

In hindsight I do realize tit for tat in a marriage is very unhealthy

your husband did not share nakes pictures of himself, if he had, you would be crushed

Actually @Borzak, the OP has said:

"if he put up a dick pic himself I'd probably find it funny and it would not bother me"

You also say "he only watched other women naked"

So it's OK for him to watch other people's wives/daughters/sisters naked but not OK for his own wife to choose what to do with her body? Presumably in case other men (like himself) choose to watch wank over his wife's body.

I'm not saying that I would recommend the OP's actions, but the double standards displayed by some people men on here are breathtaking.

@kaitlinktm

Saying she would probably find it funny and it wouldent bother her, is one thing, having it happen is an entirely different thing.

Her husband dident share anything of himself with anyone, she did, she decided to share herself with the entire world.

How is it a double standard to say she can watch other men, but doing what she did, which was NOT anything near what he did is wrong?

For it to be double standards displayed, both parties would have had to do the exact same thing but only one of them being singled out as having done something wrong. But i asume you dont understand what double standards actually are, you just like to throw it around to empower yourself....

The ignorance of some people women on here is breathtaking...

Sebiphone, afaik humanity has existed for millennia without internet porn. And you must be gullible and naive to think that it is all consensual. How do you feel knowing that some of those women you wank over are being raped?

kaitlinktm take your reason and facts and go home, how dare you try to argue with a man. She cheated with the entire world! She even cheated with you, I bet you didn't even realise, the hussy

Seb, you may like porn and there's no issue with that, but stop pretending that you're saving the species with it. And piss off with your ridiculous double standards that effectively boil down to it being ok if men like it because they are the guardians of human existence or whatever the fuck.

It's infuriating being lectured about evolution and procreation from a Darwinian nightmare.

It's noteworthy that the men who've posted here all seem to have felt the need to tell us why looking at porn is fine. But this isn't actually about porn use itself. It's about hypocrisy, and the fact that the DH did something they had specifically agreed they would not. One could be a porn performer and still see that.

Has anyone else noticed the dearth of helpful male posters (with a few notable exceptions) on threads where women are stuck in abusive relationships or being smacked around...and yet when a thread comes up about female sexuality or a woman not sleeping with her husband enough, suddenly the place is crawling with them?

For a bunch of guys who like to play the evolutionary imperative card, they aren't half a load of dinosaurs.

OP maybe should have written tit for twat.

OK @Borzak - the double standards I am referring to are:

People - well in this case men - are allowed to look at photos of women on line. However any women married (or related?) to said men are not allowed to post such pictures. So do we have to have 2 sets of women then? Those who are related to men who ogle women's pictures, but who cannot post such pictures, and other women, not married to such men who can? These women are related to some men though.

If you want the right to look at wank over women's pictures, women have to be able to post them - just not any women you know, because that would be - well, you know - wrong. Yup - I call double standards. If it's not wrong to ogle, it's not wrong to post since you can't have the one without the other.

I would say the same if the poster were male making the same complaint about his wife.

Oh - but I forgot - that wouldn't ever happen because:

That's what men do. We think of sex every day, all day. It's in our genes. That doesn't mean we don't love our women, it's because nature has build us that way. If we don't get satisfaction regularly, we get frustrated and yes, even in marriage, we still masturbate. And even if we do get satisfication regularly, we still search for porn. Why? Because most of us just like porn and sex

and as we know - women don't think about sex at all.

kaitlink, you are wasting your time. These are the losers who can't stop yammering to anyone who'll listen about how much they like sex, yet shit themselves when a woman owns her own sexuality. Who think men should have the perfect right to pursue pictures of naked women as they wish, but women need male permission to post them. Who sincerely think that it's their God given right to treat women like shite (and before you idiots all start screeching, I am not talking about consensual porn - I bet you still can't work out what I AM talking about) because they are the gatekeepers of human existence. Women have no input in that, apparently.

I mean, the kind of pea-brained tosspots who feel the need to come on to Mumsnet of all bloody places, to explain to us that men really, really like sex. Because, you know, that might have escaped us as we grew to adulthood in this society.

It really baffles me that they always pull the 'it's all about evolution and procreation' horseshit, because these prats are utter dinosaurs. It's enough to make me long for the next meteorite.

"the same size or smaller than your man"

Did the OPs H make sure to spare his wife's feelings in this way? Do you?

"men have urges"

The Victorians called, they want their thread back.

@Yorick - you are most probably right, but I had to try!

Yes, well, I have urges to hunt down nobless wonders who get all in a tizzy when female sexuality doesn't go their way and force feed them Rampant Rabbits, but I rein it in.

@Yorick

"when female sexuality doesn't go their way"

Aye. That comment about size says it all. It doesn't fucking matter (imo) if you're doing it right. And it doesn't fucking matter at all if you happen to be gay. Or single. The poster is either clueless or a woman taking the piss out of (some) men.

There's always the div that turns up on threads like this mansplaining men, and presuming to speak for all of them.

Yorick...........youve nailed it.

If it's not wrong to ogle, it's not wrong to post since you can't have the one without the other.

Bears repeating, for the thick hard of understanding.

These men are saying 'OMG YOU DID A TERRIBLE THING!!!!!BUT THANK CHRIST OTHER WOMEN DO IT OR I'D HAVE NOTHING TO WANK OVER'

Stoic

That doesn't mean we don't love our women, it's because nature has build us that way. Nature built women to pair with nice reliable men and cheat with the hotties when we ovulate. It's in our GENES. Lucky most of us resist the urge.

If you wanted revenge you could have done fun things like printing out a bunch of dickpics (preferably same or smaller length than your man) and put it in places he would find it where nobody else would.
Yeah, I laughed at this one. You're allowed to look at other men's dicks, as long as they're smaller than his, so as not to hurt his feelings. I bet OP'S and my 'd'h made sure to only look at women with smaller tits than me.

Tee hee. But really, most of the parachuting fellas comments here have been aimed at justifying their own porn usage first and foremost. But it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of porn, or even whether the OP and DH were ridiculous to have a no porn agreement in the first place. It just matters that they did. You don't have to subscribe to the same views to get that.