My porn revenge on Dh

[serephine16]

Ok- me 40, dh 44. So a few months back I found out my dh had been on a porn subreddit called gonewild a few times a week for months, which is basically real 18+ something women posting nudes of themselves. I was heavily pregnant and really low in myself, depressed and low self esteem, and in past conversations my dh had reassured me he wasn't the type to look at porn, disagreed with it vehemently to a point where he would get angry if I asked him did he ever use it. So we agreed porn had no place in our marriage. What has effected me the most, besides feeling totally inadequate was his ability to lie so convincingly and easily and it has created a huge trust problem in our marriage and I've struggled with this everyday since. Now to the point of this post- a little while after going through the subreddit he was on and torturing myself I discovered there was a gonewild30plus subreddit which again is women 30 and over posting nudes, so as pissed as I was with him I decided to get my own back and I posted a picture of my own boobs on the 30 plus page and I told him. During the time it was up I got messages and comments and upvotes from men and although I genuinely felt uncomfortable having such an intimate picture of myself on show, I felt very flattered and it upped my self esteem no end. I took the picture down as my Dh went completely crazy, extremely angry, and has said that what I have done is far far worse then him going onto the same type page basically for god knows how long and looking at many different pictures of young woman and lying to me about it. He's so angry he can't even think about it without blowing up. What I'm asking here is, was I completely out of order doing what I did? I genuinely don't think it's as bad as what he did, but am completely open to all your thoughts and opinions.
In hindsight I do realize tit for tat in a marriage is very unhealthy and I regret that aspect of it.

[CatsAreAssholes]

even point out the really attractive ones to my bf smile

I bet he thinks you're like totes cool too. I bet you got him a sandwhich and a blowjob while he does it right?

At the men pp why do you think men are programmed to think about sex all the time but women aren't? Who are all those cavemen fucking?

[clarebear1983]

My word, 'my husband doesn't look at porn' is right up there with 'I believe in Santa Claus'. It's healthy and perfectly normal. I look at gone wild sometimes (I'm female), I even point out the really attractive ones to my bf

Forcing your DH to promise not to look at porn is forcing him to sneak about. I'm not sure what you expect when you have such an unhealthy, insecure attitude towards porn.

I think maybe you should steer clear of relationships until you are happier and more secure in yourself that porn is simply that, just pictures on the internet. It's not a personal attack on your attractiveness.

[hatsoncats]

^ Who let their 11 year old on here unsupervised?

[Notamom1]

I created an account here just for the purpose of telling you that I did the exact same thing. However I did post in hopes that he'd find my pictures and he never did.

This was after discussions we had about him forgetting to close webpages and I just happened across it when I needed to use the desktop computer for something. I never snooped to see what he was looking at. One time I walked into the kitchen and he didn't hear me, and I could see him at the computer, looking at photos on gonewild. I confronted him and asked why he needs to look at it while I'm in the next room and told him that he needs to do better.

Don't let any of these people make you feel bad for what you did. It sparked a conversation between you and your husband that was badly needed.

[Isetan]

So let me get this straight you don't like porn but are happy and even flattered , when you receive messages off sleazy men like your H, who comment on the boob shots you posted online. I don't know which of you is more of a hypocrite, you who thinks posting nudes of herself is a moral victory against her H or your sleazy liar of a H.

Given your actions you're not against porn, you're against your H looking at porn, which is your prerogative but sinking to his level to prove a point (which was ultimately lost in an act of hypocrisy) is pathetic. You haven't taught him a lesson, you've just exposed more of his hypocrisy.

Your H has been such a convincing liar for so long, that I don't know where you go from here.

[Brazenhussy0]

This thread makes me so happy

OP, not only have you managed to short-circuit your own hypocrite of a 'D'H, you appear to have rattled many porn-consuming men with your defiance.


Bravo, just bloody brilliant

[lookatyourwatchnow]

Such double standards! So your body belongs to him and is for his eyes only but he's free to wank over hundreds of other women's bodies? Fuck that! I admire your brazenness in a way. But I hope your head isn't included in the picture

[user7680]

Well done!! He continues to piss you when you're heavily pregnant with his child ...now he's pissed off too!!isn't revenge so sweet ?

[user1499638963]

Oh what bollocks everyone does porn and masturbates err no that isn't true.

Teeg this is a forum not a porn site or an adult forum for you to hit on women and does your partner know.

[Gemini69]

teegg that's bollocks..

not everyone looks at Porn.. and not everyone Masturbates.... so your wrong about those pearls of wisdom

[emilybrontescorset]

Op_ I find your dhs reaction both strange and comical.
I don't tolerate those with double standards so he wouldn't be for me.
Go to the counselling but make sure he is aware that if he doesnt sort himself out there will be consequences.

[PeasyCheese]

I do like this thread (sorry to like something that started with your distress, OP ).

Truly hilarious posts from all our valued Male Opinions.

I think someone (MrsTerry?) nailed it on about page 1:

I don't think it was healthy. I do think it was fair. For a very long time certain kinds of men have assumed that what they do is totes cool bro. Relying on women toeing the line. Fuck that noise.

Hats (and bras) off to you, OP. I hope things get easier for you, though.

[Funnydaddy]

You have your logic. You tried talking & it didnt work etc. Before the blame game gets any further, its better as adults you both need to sit and talk and discuss on how you want to resolve this. None of us have the right to decide on your life.

In my point of view if the wife is not in the mood for sex, a man can just wank. I knpw the infatuation and the passion fade but as a couple you both can work it out. Everything has a solution 😁

[prioritymail]

The type of men trawling through? You mean like your husband?
Who was that directed at corona? In my experience, porn watching comes hand in hand with a load of deceit and disrespect, which is the worst thing about it. So 'well done' to you for being open about it (all of it?) with your wife. Just be aware that a lot of opinions are formed by first exposure to it in an atmosphere of continued lies and secrecy, which does tend to lend it a rather sleazy air....

[Corona714]

The type of men trawling through? You mean like your husband? The rest of us who admit to enjoy looking don't all share whatever characteristic that 'the type of men' do. Many of us enjoy it are simply honest with our wives and gf's about it -- and many of us don't mind if they look as well. Or post themselves for that matter.

[DogStrummer]

I don't believe anyone has a right to dictate what sites men look at - although it's obvious that the OP is not happy with what she discovered, and can use that as the basis to change the way the relationship moves forward (or doesn't).

Likewise, it's ridiculous for the OPs husband to dictate what the OP can or cannot do with her own body. There is no "better" or "worse" in this situation. I am a man, and providing there was no face visible in the picture posted online, I wouldn't have much of a reaction if my wife did that. If it was as a response to my surfing, I would take the point as being very well made, and move on. If it was "out of the blue", I would definitely want to have a discussion as to reasons, but would certainly not "go spare" out of some Victorian-style outrage.

[PoorYorick]

That one is garden variety. I was hoping for a rarer sighting.

[provider5sectorzz9]

A man's mind is visual ?
ffs what is this men are from mars evolutionary psychology bullshit, all humans respond to visual cues

[prioritymail]

Yes, seems even the 'best' justification revolves around using porn as a way to control their base behaviour and prevent themselves doing something even less socially acceptable. ^^ Sad.

[kaitlinktm]

Why are people men still coming on and justifying why they use porn? That isn't the issue. It was funny at first but now it's just become tedious.

[AngelaTwerkel]

Oh look, that one is barely literate.

[theincomlive]

My GF knows i look at porn, and the reason is not to bother her and not be kind of a stalker, maybe you should consider, a man's mind is visual and a quick way to get release.

After when it's over he can better continue on focus on the real gold in relationship, his mind is not about unfaithfulness, but to stress of and not going insane.

[WankYouForTheMusic]

Tee hee. But really, most of the parachuting fellas comments here have been aimed at justifying their own porn usage first and foremost. But it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of porn, or even whether the OP and DH were ridiculous to have a no porn agreement in the first place. It just matters that they did. You don't have to subscribe to the same views to get that.