My porn revenge on Dh

[serephine16]

Ok- me 40, dh 44. So a few months back I found out my dh had been on a porn subreddit called gonewild a few times a week for months, which is basically real 18+ something women posting nudes of themselves. I was heavily pregnant and really low in myself, depressed and low self esteem, and in past conversations my dh had reassured me he wasn't the type to look at porn, disagreed with it vehemently to a point where he would get angry if I asked him did he ever use it. So we agreed porn had no place in our marriage. What has effected me the most, besides feeling totally inadequate was his ability to lie so convincingly and easily and it has created a huge trust problem in our marriage and I've struggled with this everyday since. Now to the point of this post- a little while after going through the subreddit he was on and torturing myself I discovered there was a gonewild30plus subreddit which again is women 30 and over posting nudes, so as pissed as I was with him I decided to get my own back and I posted a picture of my own boobs on the 30 plus page and I told him. During the time it was up I got messages and comments and upvotes from men and although I genuinely felt uncomfortable having such an intimate picture of myself on show, I felt very flattered and it upped my self esteem no end. I took the picture down as my Dh went completely crazy, extremely angry, and has said that what I have done is far far worse then him going onto the same type page basically for god knows how long and looking at many different pictures of young woman and lying to me about it. He's so angry he can't even think about it without blowing up. What I'm asking here is, was I completely out of order doing what I did? I genuinely don't think it's as bad as what he did, but am completely open to all your thoughts and opinions.
In hindsight I do realize tit for tat in a marriage is very unhealthy and I regret that aspect of it.

[whatsinthebox]

This is on the dail mail

[DixieFlatline]

Ah, so it's not a bored MRA but a shit Daily Mail journo making stuff up to force an article?

[confuuuuused]

Sorry I've not read the whole thread to find out but sadly someone has turned this thread into a media article www.someecards.com/love/sex/woman-posts-boobs-porn-site/?utm_source=didyouknow&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=partner

[WesternMeadowlark]

Interesting, confuuuuussed. I wonder if they got that from the Mail. I'd have to click over to the Mail to get the time it was posted to see though, and I'm not doing that.

This evening, I've seen someone who appears to be the OP post a link to the DM article about this thread - note: not to the thread itself - somewhere totally unrelated, in a short post asking for the opinions of commenters. They got deleted.

Which is not to say this is guaranteed not genuine, of course. But if it is, they're going to have to accept that they've made themselves look shady as hell with those kinds of shenanigans.

Still, good on everyone who's replied in good faith, as always; someone else may have found the discussion helpful.

[ExpatinBah]

Well at least you have made it OP to the DailyMail this morning...

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4696450/Wife-posts-sexy-selfie-revenge-husband.html

[prioritymail]

^

[Njordsgrrrl]

😂 I'll have your email address Healthyguy 😏

[tillytown]

Imagine being so desperate for attention you have to beg for nudes on mumsnet

[DadWasHere]

Middle aged woman thinks her breasts are now crap but her partner has been around way too long for his opinion about them to influence her personal self esteem.

Even if he believes she has a killer rack that other men would fall on their knees for, its not like his opinion about them is based in reality any more. Indeed, he has been protected from looking at photos of other boobs for so long he no longer has a valid relativistic opinion of hers. In effect she has replaced his opinion of her desirability with the importance of his loyalty to her.

He gets exhausted trying to supply self esteem that she no longer thinks is a valid supply source. His capacity to make her feel desirable is now gone. He turns to porn. She finds out, gets pissed, posts her boobs on the net to rounds of online acclaim. She discovers that having fresh men offer an opinion that she has a great rack means more to her than the tired opinion of her old partner.

[SandyY2K]

I don't think his reaction is a surprise. He looks at those women, but he doesn't want his wife to be one of those women.

The men posting here are getting slatted for their views, but in all honesty, any other reaction from him would have been what surprised me.

If my husband didn't care that I'd done something like that, I'd see it as a sign he isn't really that bothered about me.

I do sometimes think when people do wrong, they need to get a taste of their own medicine, but the equal thing would have been you looking at pics of gorgeous men.

I would suggest you both have marriage counselling as a way forward.

[MrsDoylesTeaParty]

Dixie Mine was the other thread about gonewild and I am a genuine poster with a big posting history (on both usernames as I kept forgetting to change in the thread ) This thread inspired me to post but now feel daft if it's all bollocks..

[TriHard27]

Well I think think what you did was genius and hopefully taught him a valuable lesson. Men like that sometimes need things explaining in their own language.

[Syc4moreTrees]

I think your reaction if you actually did that is ridiculous, and I'm not a man. In case that view would be invalidated by gender.

He has a nasty habit that you find unacceptable, that deserves a conversation, why degrade yourself to prove some abstract point? You're happy for your boobs to be wanked over until the end of time just to one up your husband?

This doesn't sound like a healthy marriage at all. If you don't want to be with a man who is viewing photos of consenting adults (so very very unlike the "industry") that is a valid thing, but I don't see how your response has done anything to further that dialogue.

Good luck with the pregnancy.

[Njordsgrrrl]

PM received, that'll teach me

[owaowa]

Wow, lots of emotions in this thread. Let me try to put things straight.

You exposed private parts of your own body to other men. And you did it for free. And you did in on the internet. You think deleting that picture will delete it from the internet? Nope, think again. That picture will roam the interwebz forever, with your private parts.

He was just watching porn, for god's sake. That's what men do. We think of sex every day, all day. It's in our genes. That doesn't mean we don't love our women, it's because nature has build us that way. If we don't get satisfaction regularly, we get frustrated and yes, even in marriage, we still masturbate. And even if we do get satisfication regularly, we still search for porn. Why? Because most of us just like porn and sex. Is there something wrong with that? No, it's just watching, not touching, not exposing.

In my opinion, that's two different things. People see nudity every day in all sorts of context. But showing off nudity on the internet, meant for other men to satisfy themselves, that's a whole other ballpark.

If I were your husband, I would seriously consider dumping you:

1. For checking my internet history
   
2. For making a fuzz out of browsing some innocent porn
   
3. For exposing yourself to other men
   
   Maybe then you could try contacting one of those other GoneWild surfers that boosted your confidence to get together with. Although you will have to change the guy's behavior and forbid him surfing for porn in the future.
   You took revenge on a man who's the same type of man that boosted your confidence on Reddit.
   
   Let me end with this: watching porn is not a disease. I watch porn with my wife regularly, sometimes it can give your sex life a boost and it's just fun getting aroused together. If my wife would watch male porn? So what? She'd better enjoy it and have some fun of her own. But showing off herself to other men on the internet? End of relationship.

[OlennasWimple]

Brilliant use of "tit for tat" in the OP

[TheStoic]

End of relationship.

Hopefully.

[AngelaTwerkel]

Thank fuck my DH is NOTHING like the prototype "all-men-like-porn" man described by owaowa. But thanks for mansplaining "all men" to us, that's really useful.

[Gemini69]

owaowa knows alot about internet porn I wonder why this is....

prolific expert user I think

[AngelaTwerkel]

AND signed up just to post this!

I wonder if we can look forward to more insightful contributions or if he's just dropped in to defend his porn use. ("It's not a disease!")

[kaitlinktm]

Presumably Owa doesn't mind ogling other men's wives online though.

[BorzakX]

What you did, is NOT tit for tat, that would be you watching naked men. What you did was infidelity, your husband did not share nakes pictures of himself, if he had, you would be crushed, he only watched other women naked, that he lied about doing so, is bad, but you posting a nude of yourself... How would you feel if your husband sent 1 picture to 1 woman of himself? Bad right? You sent your picture to the ENTIRE world...... If you were my wife, you would be talking to a divorce attorney right now... You crossed the line so far that i doubt your husband will ever forgive you, even if he says he will or has.. You cheated on him, with the entire world....

[DioneTheDiabolist]

How is posting erotic pics online "infidelity"? Does infidelity not need another person?

[AngelaTwerkel]

Oh look, another new poster. . Are you coming from the Daily Mail or something? Would explain the hyperbolic style of posting.

You CHEATED with the ENTIRE WORLD!