Really like him, but not sure what to make of him. Hardwork?!

[Givemewine00]

Don't want to drip feed but will try to make as short as possible.

Separated with DH around 5 months ago and recently started divorce proceedings. We still live in the same house at the moment as we have DC.

About 4 months ago, I met someone on a dating site, only joined really to see what was out there. We got on really well and met a few times. Two months ago, we had sex at mine, which obviously I share with STBXH, whilst STBXH was away. Probably not the nicest thing to do, but then I'm free to see whom I choose.

However since then OM has been blowing hot and cold on me, saying it didn't feel right, so I ended it. He came back after a week telling me who much he likes me and I do like him.

But here is the strange bit that I just can't get my head around and maybe a man will comment and give me a male prospective on this?

I'm not allowed to go to his place, says it's because he has to really trust me first??

We have arranged to meet several times and he has let me down.

He doesn't seem interested in coming to mine for sex when STBXH is away. Yet we're always sexting and he says how much he wants me.

He says when I'm finally in my own place he'll be round all the time??

I like him too much to walk away. I have accused him of being a player and he assures me he's not a player and I am the only one?

You'll be wiser next time, honest. Put it down to experience.

Ditch ditch ditch deffo find out who he lives with tho and confront nobody should play you for a fool

Oh God don't start researching who he lives with and make a scene over it. They had a one night stand, he really doesn't owe her anything. Just drop it and move on.

yes absolutely

You are very likely being taken for a ride op. Policemen are often the worst for having affairs and cheating.

The sexting but not meeting up is likely because he's bored at home or whatever and it's entertaining. Gives him a buzz while he's working shifts.

I don't think he lives with his parents. If he doesn't trust you why would he even tell you the address?? What car does he drive? Is it ever parked in their drive?

You need to find out from someone he works with or who knows of him what the story is.

I don't think you know the real him.

He trusted you enough to sleep with you, but not enough to invite to his home....? He's not evrn original with his lines.

Married/in LTR. Sorry OP. Bin him and sit back from relationships for a while. You need to be a bit more discerning, but its better to find out sooner rather than later, at least. There are some vultures out there

Ahh feck I've just read latest posts about there only being one sex session!

Don't bother digging info on him then, he just didn't fancy another shag with you.

Just leave it now. You've learned now not to open your legs to someone who withholds so much about themselves.

Op, please consider using this tried and tested phrase
"Fuck off knobhead"
Job done.

You've been seeing him for such a short time and you have ups and downs?Even if you. Hadn't just split from your ex,if you did get Togo to his place you should still be infill lust/love mode if not then ditch.
Next time decide if you just want sex or a relationship,either way be choosey.

Haven't rtft but...

It's IMO not really on to be having sex with him in the marital home while the DH is away. Even if you are separated.

It's very easy to say that he must be married/in a LTR but it's also entirely possible that after the ons you had together he suddenly came to his senses and realised that you were still married to your H and doesn't want a significant part of that until you're separated.

If this scenario was the other way around and a poster was posting that the person they'd met wanted them to come to the marital home while the ex was away the consensus would be that they were still very much married and they shouldn't go near them sexually until they knew for certain that they were separated.
"Separated and in separate bedrooms" is a regular line which people use to justify shagging someone while they're still married, and while in your case it's true, in more cases than not it isn't. So he's not wrong for not wanting to come back to what is still your marital home while your h is away.

Are you still in the same room BTW? Would he be sleeping with you in the marital bed while your husband is still living there?

Cum dump... hehe. Have to remember that one!

Yes calling a woman a cum dump is fucking hilarious some of you are really bloody nasty.

WannaBe, I've just come back on to reply to your very valid post.

No we're are not in the same room, haven't t been for months.

Yep some of you are bloody nasty. Just wanted opinions not verbal fucking bashing. And a 'troll'?? How fucking rude!!

Ignore the language on here OP, it's hideous.

FWIW I can see the attraction of wanting to meet someone new if you're separated and looking to move forward, even if you're still living in the marital home. Especially if you're completely separated in every sense of the word ie. having separate meals and so on. But to the outsider "we're separated but living in the same house for the sake of the kids/while the finances are sorted out," is such a common line that it would ring alarm bells for most. It may even be that he didn't see it like that until he mentioned you to a 3rd party and they may have then put their own spin on it iyswim.

I wouldn't go in for telling him to do one etc if that's not what you want, but I would back off somewhat until such times as you have managed to physically separated from your h i.e. That one of you has moved out. If it's meant to be then he'll stick around. If not then put it down to experience. :)

There is a lot of difference between not wanting to go to her house becausevof her oh and not even bothering to keep arrangements to meet up. They could go for a coffee, a meal, the cinema etc he doesn't gave to go to her house. And if it's ok to go to her house for sex then it should be ok to go to His.

Something is far wrong and it's got nothing to do with his 'morals' about her oh still being around.