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Original poster

Really like him, but not sure what to make of him. Hardwork?!

164 replies

Givemewine00 · 13/07/2017 13:41

Don't want to drip feed but will try to make as short as possible.

Separated with DH around 5 months ago and recently started divorce proceedings. We still live in the same house at the moment as we have DC.

About 4 months ago, I met someone on a dating site, only joined really to see what was out there. We got on really well and met a few times. Two months ago, we had sex at mine, which obviously I share with STBXH, whilst STBXH was away. Probably not the nicest thing to do, but then I'm free to see whom I choose.

However since then OM has been blowing hot and cold on me, saying it didn't feel right, so I ended it. He came back after a week telling me who much he likes me and I do like him.

But here is the strange bit that I just can't get my head around and maybe a man will comment and give me a male prospective on this?

I'm not allowed to go to his place, says it's because he has to really trust me first??

We have arranged to meet several times and he has let me down.

He doesn't seem interested in coming to mine for sex when STBXH is away. Yet we're always sexting and he says how much he wants me.

He says when I'm finally in my own place he'll be round all the time??

I like him too much to walk away. I have accused him of being a player and he assures me he's not a player and I am the only one?

OP posts:
OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 14/07/2017 07:45

To be fair OP, look at your own situation. You are still married and living with your husband...

Farahilda · 14/07/2017 07:51

"he had women showing up at his place telling him they were pregnant when they weren't and causing him trouble"

String of psycho exes is a reg flag in itself.

Shayelle · 14/07/2017 08:04

Cum dump... hehe. Have to remember that one!!

WifeyFish · 14/07/2017 09:30

OP I'm sorry to say it but this is not a relationship, casual or otherwise. You were a ONS and I suspect it's only a matter of time before he ghosts you completely.

Please stop and think for a moment why you're happy to chase after a guy you barely know when he's treating you so badly. You are worth more than this. Take some time for yourself now your marriage is over, there's no rush.

coldflange · 14/07/2017 09:36

Move on OP.

He is wasting your time. When is your XH moving out? If I were in your shoes (I was many years ago) I didn't even consider talking to a man until I was living alone. It doesn't sit right with me.

ravenmum · 14/07/2017 10:32

I got quite attached to someone like this after my ex left. He was a sweet talker, which made such a nice change after the crap you get at the end of a long relationship. Claimed he was living with his parents after separation but planning to move to my area in September December January June September. I never met his daughter or saw his home as his parents supposedly disapproved. He also didn't want much in the way of sex, though he did at least visit! I wonder now if a guilty conscience of some kind made sex less fun.

Never found out what he was really up to, and I gave up in the end. Met up with him when he was passing through recently and he was telling me about some married woman he had lovely long phone chats with, all perfectly innocent of course. I think he was out for the ego boost: all these women wanting him! I can't really complain about that, though, as it was a nice ego boost for me too after my shitty marriage breakdown. He really was a very good sweet talker :)

SparklyMagpie · 14/07/2017 10:44

Oh my god OP, why is it hard to understand?

You sound more desperate after every post.

You had sex once an you havn't seen him in 2 months, why would you want him back?!?!

FindingJessica · 14/07/2017 14:56

There is a chance you will be ghosted as I was eventually and you feel even worse because you tried so hard.
I think online dating can turn many (but not all) otherwise normal men into complete idiots. I think the mix of Testosterone and so much opportunity (which fuels even more testostetone) is a disastrous mix for many men who then can't even see how badly they are treating women.

hellsbellsmelons · 14/07/2017 15:54

WTF are you bothering?
Seriously!
Re-read what you've written.
What you advise a daughter or a friend if they told you all of this?

THE HILLS ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

AnyFucker · 14/07/2017 16:05

You sound like a total mug

DrMorbius · 14/07/2017 16:45

TheNaze there are some horrible terms on here but a cum dump, is right up there Blush.

Unfortunately Op his reticence for a replay, shows that he has better options to dump his.......

Original poster
Givemewine00 · 14/07/2017 16:46

Ok so I've spoken with him today and asked him outright what's the real reason I can't go to his. Asked him if he was married, gf or living with parents?

He told me that the people who own his place and live opposite are very good friends with his ex, and he doesn't want any of his private life getting back to her and her using it against him to cause trouble because he works with her, which I knew about. He told me about her before and she sounds nasty. He is saving to buy his own place and told me it will be different then.

He assured me he's not seeing anyone as I've told him I'm not going to have mug written across my forehead.

We shall see what happens now as he knows I'm kind of on to him. If I don't hear from him again, then you were all right.

OP posts:
Adora10 · 14/07/2017 16:48

You really are a mug OP, I am sorry but the day he told you that you were NOT allowed to his place was the day you should have said see ya.

We are ALL right, you are delusional and still chasing a loser.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 14/07/2017 16:49

Your funeral OP. He sounds like a waste of time.

Onedaysoooon · 14/07/2017 16:50

Ridiculous excuse. He either wants to see you or he doesn't.

AnyFucker · 14/07/2017 16:55

Did he make arrangements to see you again then ?

Finola1step · 14/07/2017 16:59

Oh.for fucks sake.

Original poster
Givemewine00 · 14/07/2017 17:09

AnyFucker, no he didn't. All he ever says to me is he wants to make love to me, but never actually arranges to 🤔

I'm being really stupid arnt I? But then what if that is the real reason?

OP posts:
DrMorbius · 14/07/2017 17:10

I had better bookmark this post, so I can reference it, when you post again in a couple of months Op.

Adora10 · 14/07/2017 17:11

So what is his reason for treating you like shit OP and what is your reason for accepting such crap behaviour, serious question...

AnyFucker · 14/07/2017 17:12

Yes, you are being stupid

He is taking the piss

Look at his actions not his empty words. He is enjoying knowing that he could fuck you if he felt like it. He doesn't feel like it though, sorry

Get some self respect and delete him

DrMorbius · 14/07/2017 17:13

If a bloke wants to have sex with a woman, he finds a way. He doesn't just text about it.

Original poster
Givemewine00 · 14/07/2017 17:16

AnyFucker, I have blocked him in the past because of this. But he went to the extent of setting up a fake Fb account to talk to me.

Just don't get it?

OP posts:
Poisongirl81 · 14/07/2017 17:17

He's not interested. Sorry op

Poisongirl81 · 14/07/2017 17:17

But it's an ego boost you chasing him and keeping you hanging.