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Original poster

Serial Leaver - Left Again. What Do I Do???

1000 replies

Quootiepie · 22/03/2007 19:18

My (D)H has left AGAIN. Woke up this morning to find no sign of him and bankcard infront of PC. Wasn't until I went downstairs later on I saw he had posted his key through the letterbox. He left on Monday (I think) until Wednesday night, when I went in the middle of the night to beg for him back at his mums. He had just dumped shopping inside the door, and zoomed off again, me running barefoot in dressing gown trying to chase his car . Previous to that, about 2 weeks ago he left, and just dumped milk for DS through the catflap as he had left him with nothing, although by the time someone had to come and bring me milk. He promises over and over again he wont do it anymore, last night we were totally fine and yet this morning he left. I am not independant at all, and this constant kicking me back down is just too much. What on earth can I do? I dont know even what I mean by that. THe crisis team are coming sometime this evening, and I have thought about getting DS put into care because I really cannot cope another night jumping at every noise, checking the hall for notes or supplies, and just general whatsthefuckingpoint-ness. I do still love him, when he is OK he really is totally fine, realises his mistakes, but... I cant cope with this. I really cant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:00

O, and found out the source of the funny gone off water smell, it was the washing mashing leaking Probably through lack of use past few days

OP posts:
Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:01

Yep, a £500 phone, or something like that. That new nokia thing with sat nav I shall get onto freecycle, thanks, ill let you know if I find a pole xx

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 15/04/2007 11:01

At my surgery they lay dd's on the bed thing and do it that way. Very safe, as 2 of them there. You'll be ok Quootie, and ds will have his lovely mummy with him so he'll be fine.

I usually go on my own as DH at work.

Pinkchampagne · 15/04/2007 11:01

I was thinking that too, misdee. When DS2 had his pre school jab (and his MMR thinking about it) there was a nurse in the room & a receptionist, who tried to distract DS. I am sure one of them could hold DS for you.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:01

mashing? Machine

OP posts:
misdee · 15/04/2007 11:02

i think i have a curtain pole but am in herts.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:03

thanks anyway x Thinking about it, I might have one of those white things, not a curtain pole...err... a curtain rail? One of those. Will have a hunt once I am done cleaning (and MNing!) xxx

OP posts:
AlphaLolly · 15/04/2007 11:03

qp - forgot to say how great I think you are dealing with this. DS will be very proud of you.

Some great advice on here.

AlphaLolly · 15/04/2007 11:07

Anything will do won't it I also have one of the spare purple ones - ok so it might not be what you are looking for but it keeps out the light.

Yes I better get myself sorted and pick dh up. He went out last night with my brother.

Email me karen jackson 317 at hotmail dot com

I may have other bits you need, if I have something that I don't need you are more than welcome to it.

BandofMothers · 15/04/2007 11:07

QP, absolutely cancel his card, or even better as he knows you racc no I should think is ask the bank if they can give you a new acc no. It shouldn't be a problem, and make sure they know not to let him come in the bank and withdraw. If his name is not on the acc he can't do anything.
YOU HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL at taping cat flap and letterbox. Regarding the arrears for bills he didn't pay. Just ring them and explain the circumstances. I'm sure they will understand.

You CAN cope with all this. Instead of looking at it as a huge scary mess of things to do. Write it all down as a list and tick each thing off as you do it. Not only does it look less scary, but you get enormous satisfaction when you tick stuff off.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:07

thankyou so much x

OP posts:
Pinkchampagne · 15/04/2007 11:08

I'm afraid I can't help with curtains & curtain poles, as I am about to move myself, but might have some of DS2's outgrown clothes around if you need anything like that.

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:09

I am doing a tick list, I am about an hour behind now though! 3 things ticked off - clear rubbish in kitchen, sort dishes, wash dishes and have started to clear surfaces - thats when I sat down! Have 28 things down, but they are all small like that - dusting and polishing are seperate for example

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 15/04/2007 11:09

Where is Berkshire????

BandofMothers · 15/04/2007 11:10

Don't put a time limit on it, thatjust adds pressure.
Put some boppy music on while you do it. Always makes boring jobs more fun for me.

Plus will cheer you up no end.

BandofMothers · 15/04/2007 11:13

hmm, just looked up Berkshire and is far from me, but if I have anything you need, I will post it if I can spare it.
Not the kitchen sink obv, is there anything else you NEED????

AlphaLolly · 15/04/2007 11:14

Lists ................ I love lists. Just put the jobs on there...... and forget them.

More important things to do ......... have a cup of tea, play with ds (for you) dd for me, and mnet of course .

I suppose I better get dressed or I will never get out.

Can you add to your list - email alpha lolly items you really would like eg paint, curtains etc so I can look. Who know's what I have lurking?

October · 15/04/2007 11:14

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:15

I would put on boppy music if the TV was working. Berkshire - near London/Heathrow. If I sell the hifi I should be ok for a few weeks, but i'll let you know, thankyou x x

OP posts:
Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:16

lol, DS is 12months - he would eat the duster

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 15/04/2007 11:16

Your tv is broken???
Thank goodness your pooter is intact. Can't you play a cd on your pooter???

October · 15/04/2007 11:17

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:21

yeah, was watching it about an hour ago and it's stuck on one channel. Tried everything, hopefully being off for abit will help

OP posts:
Original poster
Quootiepie · 15/04/2007 11:22

might stick radio on on PC

OP posts:
BandofMothers · 15/04/2007 11:24

Good idea. Is it normal tv or sky, or whatever?? If sky try rebooting your box. If normal, don't know. Batteries in your remote need changing???

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