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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Serial Leaver - Left Again. What Do I Do???

1000 replies

Quootiepie · 22/03/2007 19:18

My (D)H has left AGAIN. Woke up this morning to find no sign of him and bankcard infront of PC. Wasn't until I went downstairs later on I saw he had posted his key through the letterbox. He left on Monday (I think) until Wednesday night, when I went in the middle of the night to beg for him back at his mums. He had just dumped shopping inside the door, and zoomed off again, me running barefoot in dressing gown trying to chase his car . Previous to that, about 2 weeks ago he left, and just dumped milk for DS through the catflap as he had left him with nothing, although by the time someone had to come and bring me milk. He promises over and over again he wont do it anymore, last night we were totally fine and yet this morning he left. I am not independant at all, and this constant kicking me back down is just too much. What on earth can I do? I dont know even what I mean by that. THe crisis team are coming sometime this evening, and I have thought about getting DS put into care because I really cannot cope another night jumping at every noise, checking the hall for notes or supplies, and just general whatsthefuckingpoint-ness. I do still love him, when he is OK he really is totally fine, realises his mistakes, but... I cant cope with this. I really cant.

OP posts:
kimi · 13/04/2007 23:25

IS SHE TALKING TO ANYONE????

AitchTwoOh · 13/04/2007 23:26

not me.

kimi · 13/04/2007 23:27

Q please let us know you are ok

kimi · 13/04/2007 23:28

Do you think she just logged out to get some sleep??

AitchTwoOh · 13/04/2007 23:32

hope so. she is a very considerate person, she wouldn't ideally let people dangle. that's probably why she wrote that it would be her last post tonight.

kimi · 13/04/2007 23:33

I am worried about her now, She seems so alone and lost

AitchTwoOh · 13/04/2007 23:35

tbh i've not read the thread, i don't know anything about everything that's been happening. she's a nice girl and she's got it tough. i hope she's all right tonight.
we'll speak to you tomorrow quootie.

ScoobyDooooo · 13/04/2007 23:36

I am really sorry you are going through such a hard time QP.

Please don't do anything silly life can & will get better, your ds needs you, he loves you & you love him.

If you need a hand or someone to help with ds just let me know i am 25 with a ds of 4 & a dd of 15 months i live in woking so not to far from you, please if you need any help at all just ask x

kimi · 13/04/2007 23:37

From what I can make out her Partner keeps pissing off, and she is scared to be alone, does not like herself and is suffering depression

Quootiepie · 14/04/2007 06:56

Morning, thanks for the posts that I missed. I fell pretty much straight asleep which was good. I am feeling a little better, just tired now mainly. x

OP posts:
Jelley · 14/04/2007 06:58

morning
Glad you got some sleep.

Quootiepie · 14/04/2007 07:07

Hello. Doesn't feel like I have, I am so shattered. Got to do breakfast now, didn't even clean the highchair after dnner

OP posts:
Mhamai · 14/04/2007 08:20

Quootie, I've mailed you already and you did't come back to me, not that I hold it against you, after all you escorted me around Mn at xmas and straightened up pictutres that I fiddled with! Anyhoo, come on ye have me mail missus, get those fingers tappin!

ps
Have only read bits of the thread
Ah fark, just mail me!

Quootiepie · 14/04/2007 08:36

Must have deleted your email in a mass delete session I usually do, sorry. Will email you in abit x

OP posts:
Mhamai · 14/04/2007 08:39

No worries babes, hope you still have my e mail if not, come back here to tell me x

littleducks · 14/04/2007 08:54

mornin!

Quootiepie · 14/04/2007 08:54

Morning x

OP posts:
kimi · 14/04/2007 09:01

Morning QP

Blu · 14/04/2007 09:41

hey QP!
Well done for getting through yesterday and last night - I'm glad you got some sleep - no wonder you feel shattered, you must be emotionally exhausted.
It's a beautiful day where I am - a little sunshine can work wonders - can you sit outside with DS for a little while, maybe?

And you must be a supermum - you set v high standards! Don't worry about a sticky highchair, no-one's judging you, you know!

Quootiepie · 14/04/2007 09:46

Highchair is clean now Well, cleaned off not dettoled yet. And I swept the floor No garden to sit outside, but I might try and take him to the swings as beegee is coming for abit this morning x

OP posts:
Quootiepie · 14/04/2007 09:47

I am glad the house was spotless the day before yesterday, so there is only a days worth of crap everywhere

OP posts:
lulumama · 14/04/2007 10:01

you seem more positive, any more from the crisis team? or SS?

Blu · 14/04/2007 10:02

A trip to the swings sounds a brilliant idea.

Good for you, it sounds as if you are getting on with things v well.

have a nice time with beegee - maybe you could make contact with Littleducks while you are with Beegee, so you don't feel so shy?

And can I just say that I have met Soapbox and she is the most staunch, honest straightforward good person you could meet - and she wouldn't have made an offer like she did further down this thread unless she was very very happy for you to accept.

There are people who will actually supoprt you with 'no strings attached' you know! Hugs can't really be transmitted over Mn, but people can care, and mean it.

Pinkchampagne · 14/04/2007 10:06

Didn't read this thread properly last night, but I have read it now & it's taken ages! You have received loads of excellent support & I can't add much more, but I want to tell you that you sound like you are a very good mum (best thing my DS's ate when I was going through a v stressful time was micromaved jacket potato with beans!) & DS needs you. SS wouldn't take him from you, but they may be able to offer you the support you need.
Don't let this arse of a man keep coming & going from your life - you don't need him & don't let him think you do! You have your whole life in front of you, so don't allow him to keep bringing you down.
Well done for phoning to get help for yourself...keep going.x

AitchTwoOh · 14/04/2007 10:45

marnin' quoots. have emailed you back. hope you're enjoying the swings.

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