How would you feel? (Stag do)

[DiamondShine]

In a close circle of friends, all couples, the lads are currently on a stag weekend abroad so us girls got together to for takeaway and drinks tonight.

How would you feel if your the only person who hasn't heard from your man since they landed yesterday afternoon? Literally radio silence.

I'm glad you missed his call. He can stew until tomorrow. Left that far too long.

Hope DD settles soon and you get some sleep

I'm glad he's tried to call (wondering if they're out drinking and he has some Dutch courage now?)

I think the fact that he didn't contact you sooner or even open the messages is worrying.

Also the fact that he didn't get on the very next plane home to come and sort things out, also not a great sign.

Hope you get to the bottom of things, trust your gut.

Oh op...

I just don't understand how someone can change like that. Even the bride who's known him forever is shocked at his behaviour.

I have decided to stay at home tonight, it is my home after all. I'm going to call in sick to work and go to my parents, they live just over an hour away.

Wow, the thread has moved on considerably since I first replied.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, OP I would be so humiliated and mortified too; the fact that everyone's seen it.

I wouldn't LTB, but I would have trust issues and would be very upset for a very long time.

Has the bride spoken to her to be husband since the video? Has anyone said anything to you?
When he phoned didn't he leave a voicemail or anything?

You just need to do what feels best for you and your dd right now Op. I'd want to stay and see him face to face when he got back, but if you feel better going to your parents go.

It's very odd if it's so out of character for him. I really want there to be a valid reason for his behaviour for you op, but I can't think of much.

If you were my friend I would say:
Don't borrow trouble - wait for an explanation
Listen to @anyfucker
You can only be embarassed / mortified by YOUR actions. Do NOT be ashamed of what is done to you. If you can look at yourself in the mirror, you're fine.
Chin up, chest out.

Ignore the soap opera drama llamas in rl & here & do what suits you best.

The only logic for such a change in his behaviour that I can think of is that someone spiked his drink. But I can't see our friends doing that to him.

I have had a few text messages from the other women asking if I'm ok but have just ignored them. Of course I'm not ok! I don't want to be gossiped about either which I know will be happening no doubt. Not all of them but definitely two.

I have had a few more missed calls from him but he hasn't texted or left voicemails. Switched my phone onto silent now so it doesn't annoy me.

How shit OP.

I'd be sick with hurt and embarrassment.

Who uploaded it on FB? They weren't very sensitive either tbh. But they did you a favour.

It's something you may work past if it's admitted to the next day in full sincerity but even once you knew he's been hiding away - completely cowardly.

Worried about himself not how you will feel. Probably sounding off to his friends how shit it is you're overreacting to this little thing.

I hope whatever happens is best for you and DD.

I was thinking that Op, just from seeing the effects of certain drugs on usually very shy and reserved people.

I honestly can't see our friends doing that though to him. I know I have said it several times but it is completely out of character.

The video was one of them live streaming things on FB. The brides idiot brother posted it. We don't really know him much. Like I said he was in the background so wasn't the main focus

Bloody hell op. I know that feeling and it's awful.

@Loopyloppy what was the outcome if you don't mind me asking

I would leave him to stew tonight while you take the opportunity to think about how you want to handle the situation from now on. What a selfish, idiotic twat he is to treat you with such disrespect for a cheap thrill .

I hope you get a good nights sleep and can think about what to do next. Are you going to your parents' in the morning? It might give him a kick up the arse if you and your dd aren't there when he rolls in...

He had a secret wife and I never saw him again. Another time a different guy was sleeping with everyone he could. A little extreme and not your situation but I know that sinking, punched in the stomach feeling. X

@Loopyloppy oh god! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Some men are just C**TS!

Jeez Diamond I wasn't expecting this when I read your OP!

The only thing I would say is stop thinking he was spiked - he wasn't. Don't even entertain that idea. Men are not the ones who are victims (I know I know, not all men etc.) and if he was, then you would have already had a phone call and excuse from at least one of the stag party.

I'm so sorry this has happened. Sounds like he got carried away with the ego-boost of a woman liking him, no excuse at all.

Eh. I'm married to a nice guy with a nice kid now so it's swings and roundabouts.

Have a cup of tea, try to read a book and stop torturing yourself. You won't get anything sorted tonight so don't stress yourself out anymore than you have to.

He hasn't don't it before because he hasn't had the opportunity. First time he is away for a weekend and he does this

He is calling now because the fun is coming to an end and he had to face you, he wants to make things easier for himself, its all about him

I'm sorry you are going through this OP.
The no contact would have me fuming.
Even a quick 'landed safely' would do.
But nothing at all!
Not OK!

And now this.....
Please don't feel embarrassed. It's not YOU who should be embarrassed.

Get to your mums for some tea and sympathy.
I hope it all gets resolved but you do what is best for YOU!

He's ringing you hours later now that he's thought up a good story to tell you

Anyfucker - I don't see how it's woman hating?? The woman has done nothing wrong, it's her partner that has.

OP - get ready for the excuses "I was drunk" "i didn't know what I was doing" "someone must've spiked my drink"

Hope you're okay

How you feeling this morning? Did you manage to get much sleep?

I am always bewildered when my friends seem to text constantly.
To me it seems ridiculous, needy and teenage like to text to say you have landed safely, then to text to say what the hotel is like and then that you are getting ready to go out.
I honestly feel like screaming at them and wonder why we have to have a running commentary on our break.
Nothing wrong with getting in touch or having the odd chat, especially if you have young kids but sometimes I think about some friends that I wish they hadn't bothered coming away with us because of the amount of texting and phone calls interupting the day.
In answer to your question OP it wouldn't bother me at all.
I do like DH and like talking to him but Jeez I can live without a day or two of no contact
!

How are you feeling this morning, OP?